Barely coping
 

I'm sure you are all sick of hearing about my problems. I saw my psychiatrist again today and he gave me more valium. Its two days into payday and I am already out of money. No cigarettes and no grog just a full tank of fuel to get to Aa. Im in tears all the time and I am not a crier. Even when I lost the kids I had weekends to look forward to. I've been reaching out to God but it seems to be just pointing out what a mess I have made. How I can miss the constant abuse from my neighbour is beyond me. Maybe I am just lonely. Not sure. I am hoping karma will come back and get him. As of now no grog. Food in the fridge. Billls paid. Fluck this is going to be hard.

I'm sorry that things are difficult for you just now, sweetichick.
Kindest thoughts to you.
Be kind to yourself.
:hug:

I'd try and think of this as the start of something better sweetichick - the more times you don't buy grog and smokes, the more money you'll be able to set aside for things like petrol,. food power phone etc. and maybe even a little saving?

Things will get better - so long as you stay in recovery :)

D

You CAN do this sweetichick. Keep focused. 😊

Do you have a sponsor yet? It might help you with working through this resentment toward your neighbor. Seems like that is really eating at you. As addicts I believe we like constant abuse....sick but kinda true. I mean, my active alcoholism was the worst form of abuse. So it makes sense that even tho your neighbor is a douche and terrible for you, you would still 'miss' whatever it was you were getting out of it (attention, drama addiction?).

Its time to learn new ways of thinking and coping. Actively taking part in your thoughts and feelings, challenging what you are thinking that is toxic and replacing it with new ways of interacting with the world. AA can help you with that.

Try get to the meeting. It’s so hard but you need a plan. There is a way out you can do this today just go to the meeting ask for help. Wishing you healing and a sober rest of today

Hi Sweetichick,

It's nice to see you on here this morning, I am sorry y are feeling so down. I hear lots of positives in your post though: no grog, no cigarettes, and no neighbor, those three things alone are big wins. You have food in your fridg, your bills paid, and gas in your car, you will get to pay day just fine, because you have what you need to get there.

How often have you been going to meetings? Have y found one you really like? I remember you sharing about some nice people you have met, are you still seeing them.

Hang in there, you are pitting the pieces back together, which isn't easy, it is hard work, but it is worth it!!!

❤️Delilah

It's really really hard to sober up and it messes with your mind for a long time.

You just have to hang in there and see thing through to the other side, it gets better but it takes time.

This is the hardest thing I've done in my life.

Hi sweetichick.....

I too am sorry to hear of your struggles
and sending understanding and compassion
your way.

I am concerned about more Valium your
doctor gave you yesterday. That to me is
like a huge red flag flying high. Why, because
it is a powerful drug that keeps folks in
an addiction.

In recovery, it is so very important that
if we need to see a doctor for whatever
the illness is, that they are aware that we
who are in recovery do not wish to be
prescribed narcotics or anything habit
forming.

Sure, doctors will give us whatever
we ask for never minding if we have
an addiction problem or in recovery.
So it is our responsibility to stand strong
in telling our doctors NO.

As long as we continue to take strong
narcotic meds then we will remain sick
in our addiction and we will never get
out of the fog.

I'm hoping and praying that you will
revisit your doctor and discuss with
him about your situation and reevaluate
you medicine and help you get healthy
with non addictive medicine if needed.

Once we become honest and responsible
in recovery and in our life, then we will
begin to heal and see the Light from above,
and truly believe our Higher Power is and
will always be with us guiding us along on
our journey to achieve a healthy, happy life.

Sure wish you can find a way to distance yourself from what's going on with your neighbors, and be able to focus more on yourself, your sobriety and your future. Sounds like you devote so much of your time and energy on things that keep you stuck and stuff you can't do anything about. Just seems like you would feel much better about yourself and your life if you could find a way to dump all that baggage and move on. Feel for ya. John