ulfr

Am at one of my groups at the moment normally not a problem but there is a new person here that been here for a while but he looks like one of my abusers i know its not him as he would be dead by now but am getting flashbacks and feeling like i need to drink my husband is playing pool with him so scared trying to ground myself but the flashbacks keep coming would leave but my husband dont want
so am stuck here with this person and having flashbacks

Zanna

How exactly, do you think that drinking would change anything? Perhaps instead, take your husband to one side and explain what's upsetting you.
If the memory of the vile abuser makes you drink, then the abuser is still winning
You're stronger than that.
You can do this
Hugs x

ulfr

thank you for replying your right if i drink or use drugs self harm or binge am letting him win and i have to be stable for me becoming male
letting him win will stop me from doing that but am unsure what to do if the guy keeps coming in to the drop in Its not the same person it cant be

ScottFromWI

Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel about this person. Perhaps your husband can find a different pool partner. You see a therapist, correct? Perhaps you could bring this issue up with them as well.

Anna

I agree that you should talk to your husband about this person and why you feel upset.

And, as you said, stay focused on your long-term goal and you will get there!

ulfr

i talked to my husband about him ...my husband says its not him unsure if it is or if it my mind playing tricks my husband says its not an issue

ulfr

fighting with my husband over this
everything is my fault

ulfr

dont matter , sort it out myself -whiskey feels tempting

Dee74

whiskey won't solve anything GMS.

You said yourself this person must be dead by now...it's not very likely he'd be playing pool with your husband anyway.

Try and counter the thoughts in your head with facts.

Breathe, pray - in with faith and out with fear.

D