Daisy51

I have never spoken out before about my problem as I suppose like many others always thought I was in control.
I have been drinking for years socially and heavily but the past 10 years to the point of I really dont know how I am not dead ... 2 bottles of wine a day sometimes ... thats 14 a week and probably more. Like so many alcoholics I am super clever super sneaky so nobody would know I can cover my tracks really well ... I would have a bottle of wine during the day and then when husband would come in open another so he wouldnt notice he just would think I cant hold my drink and usually I am asleep by 8.00pm and up at 7.00am I could start again nobody suspecting as who would drink at 7.00am.
I clear all my bottles away to the recyling so no trace there. Thinking I am fooling people and really clever but the only person is me.
I am not the sort of person who can ask for help no matter how many times I have needed it. This forum has been so helpful and it has made me realise I am not alone and I have been going on it everyday and reading so many stories like mine.
I have been sober 21 days with the help of many personnel stories on this site ... I am feeling and looking good and feeling alive again... thank everyone for their stories and honesty. To all who are struggling you are not alone and if I can do this anyone can. Stay strong.

Dee74

Hi and welcome to posting Daisy - 21 days is an awesome start

D

athomeuk

Welcome Daisy!

Your story sounds very similar to mine. I'm now on day 23 and only now really realising how bad things had gotten.

Well done for posting here - it takes lots of courage to take that step. Keep up the good work!

DarklingSong

Welcome Daisy. I look forward to reading your posts.

Opivotal

Welcome, Daisy!

I can certainly relate to your post. I hid my drinking too. Hiding all those bottles was exhausting, much like drinking.

Great job on 21 days!

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

JVO15

I made sure the recycling was always out to the dumpster for quite a few years. Didn't want anyone to know how big the pile of cans was getting every day. Still working on changing those bottles and cans into Coke and sparkling water but getting better

Numblady

Welcome and congrats! We are on same day of sobriety. And sounds like we were on a similar wine regimen Glad you are feeling some good energy!

Daisy51

Thank you beginning to think that I might just make this although I know its early days and I am a bit up and down but trying so hard to stay positive ... nice to know I am not doing it on my own ... it means a lot.❤

Daisy51

Thank you hope you are doing well ... yes I am the same beginning to see how bad I had got and the very dangerous road I was on. I have been lying to myself for years and I was the only person I was fooling. went out for a walk last night and for the first time in a long time I felt free and happy.
Hope you too are doing ok 😊

Daisy51

You are right about the recycling ... used to drive around looking for bins to dump bottles in ... I cringe when I think of it ... real time consuming telling myself that is the end of it and then going straight to the off license saying this will be the last time ...but never was. My drinking was a total pattern. Scarey you can get so blinded
Hope you are doing well

Daisy51

Thank you ... yes wine its so easy to kid yourself with it ... only a wee glass of wine
I used to get so excited at the thought of a couple of glasses in the evening ... totally addicted ... never could stop at 1 or 2 .
It really had a very strong hold on me cant believe I have got this far without it ..
Thank you for support means a lot not to be on my own.
Each day is getting better and clearer although I still dont feel totally back to normal still getting headaches and a few other things ... but I know each day is a bonus and a step in the right direction.
Hope you are staying strong too 😊