Readygo

I went to an event this evening where I had friends there, but I’ve never had super close friends. Just not that kind of person. I also had kids so the fact that I didn’t drink wasn’t odd but I felt so disconnected. My friends don’t have kids and I don’t see them regularly. Maybe once every couple months, otherwise it’s mostly family or just my husband and the kids.

I have always felt that’s enough for me, but tonight I felt sad and disconnected from people I used to party with.

I’m not sure alcohol really matters in our relationship, more of a thing I used to feel comfortable and close, but now going without the social event felt awkward and I felt so removed.

I’m not sure if AA could help with this or if I’m turning to a bad outlet but I’m wondering if maybe AA would help me to make new connections and with people that may understand my hesitation and my own feelings of awkwardness.

Obladi

Definitely go to AA. You're sure to make v some good connections there, with and without kids.

Obladi

Oh and how to get involved?

Just go.

MindfulMan

Show up.

icoi87

I found it is pretty easy to get involved in AA. You could just go up to someone who is a member or the chair person and ask about getting involved. I made coffee for awhile and it was a good commitment for me. Good luck!

Berrybean

Sounds a good idea to get involved in AA. The fellowship you will find there sounds like it could really help you right, as it did (and does) me.

All you do is show up. People will greet you and introduce themselves. Try to arrive early and stay late to help with set up and clear up and you'll have increased the potential for getting to know folks a bit better.

BB

Gottalife

If you believe you are alcoholic, AA may be a good program for you. It is very hard to find out about AA by just turning up at a meeting. I challenge anyone to go to a single meeting, close their eyes and listen for an adequate presentation of the program. I guarantee you will hear anthing but.

My course, probably governed by the fact that the AA I went to followed the big book, was to call AA and arrange to sit down with a recovered alcoholic. I spent an afternoon with a man, one on one, and he gave a very good presentation of the program, what AA is and what it isn't, helped me sort out whether I was alcoholic or not, explained the steps, and how the meetings work, and then, seeing as I qualified, he took me to a meeting that night, and looked after me for the first few days.

He explained alcholism and also how to look for the similarities in the stories. I used to think alcoholism was defined by the things we did, and there were a lot of things I heard that I never did. Never got a dui for example. But no, it was about control and choice in when and how we drink, and when I listened for that, I identified with most speakers.

TYG2

I'm confused....by your post. Are you a drinker? Or just feel lonely?

BarbieKen

Hi,
I'm also more of a stay at home person, and as my drinking progressed, I just wasn't comfortable going out. So I drank in my kitchen, while my husband went to his AA Meetings and our son went to his Young People in AA Meetings. When I finally became willing, I found a Noon Meeting that met M-F. But, I also felt like an outsider. Everybody seemed to know everybody. I knew I needed those meetings, no matter how socially awkward I felt.

My solution happened very naturally. I started to bake cupcakes or cakes to bring as a snack. It didn't take long before people asked, who brought those cupcakes?! �� I'd raise my hand and say my name. Baking was my ice breaker. I'd say the first 2 years I'd volunteer to be the Cake Person at my different meetings. It's an excellent newcomer commitment too! But, any commitment is an excellent way to be of service to the group, and a sure fire way to meet your fellows in AA.

All the best to you!
Everyone at your meetings truly wants you to succeed. I believe it's because we really do share this same experience, addiction.
Bobbi

Ken0331

In every AA meeting I've ever been to, the only requirement for attendance was "a desire to stop drinking."

If you want to try it, this should be of helping finding a list of meetings in your area.

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-local-aa