Feeling hopeless
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 172
It’s not easy, but you aren’t hopeless. I have spent a lot of time reading memoirs of addicts, visiting this site, keeping hands busy with other drinks (even water) and listening to lots of music. I think it’s about starting small, making small changes and having small goals. Like one month... 2 months... 3 months. I’m on day 20 and with all I listed above this is the longest I’ve been sober for the last 8 years except for when I was pregnant.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by GirlScreaming 
How did you start? Was there something that helped the most the first week? I feel like if I just get week 1 out of the way, I can do this.
First I called AA and arranged to meet somoen privately that afternoon. I didn't think AA would work for me, but it was the last resort. I felt like a hopeless case too. This AA guy helped me with a lot of things. He explained how AA worked, steps, meetings ect. He answered all my questions. He told me about his own experience with alcholism, to which I related, and we worked out that I had exactly the same problem. So that night I went with him to a meeting.
There I heard about going to any lengths to recover, so the next day I went to the doctor and got some antabuse, which I took for the first three months. I went to a lot of meetings in that first week, and spent quite a lot of time with other alcoholics. In the process I was given some hope.
And that is about all I can remember of that first week. I carried on with the program and the promised recovery came about. I never drank again, or even came close to drinking, and more than that, I was given an amazing life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 28
I am one month sober . In my past I would last a few months and relapse. I was always thinking about how am I going to last a week?? a month??? etc... Now, I wake up and say to myself I am going to stay sober TODAY. Just go one day at a time. Live in the moment....You can do it!! I joined a few days ago, and really like having this forum. Good luck!!! -Anne
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: York County, PA
Posts: 302
Originally Posted by GirlScreaming
I have wanted to quit drinking for some time now, but I always return to alcohol. I need help. I don't know where to begin.
If I could go back in time and talk to that man and tell him what I know today, I'd tell him to make an appointment with the PCP/family doctor and go tell him the truth about those drinking patterns, and how long, and the failures at staying stopped.
So I'll tell you the same. The medical professionals are a good starting point. If your PCP says he/she doesn't have a lot of experience with alcoholism, ask for a referral to an addiction specialist.
A therapist, counselor, or someone in the mental health field with some experience with alcoholism is a good place to start, too. You can't do this alone; the disease is more powerful than you. Get some help. Discuss some programs with this person, find one you think you like and work it.
You can do it! It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 3
Good Morning,
I've been in your shoes. Today I turn 39 and it is also my 2 year sobriety date. I drank for 20 years and the last 2 years of my drinking was insane. I got 4 dui's, was in and out of detox and rehab and the hospital. I also have 2 children who are 9 and 11 now. For me it took a massive seizure and being 51'50'd to get to the point that I could start to recover. I think it is great you are taking a step by reaching out for help on this forum. If I can give any advice, I would say find a few women's meetings, get a sponsor and start working on the steps. Sometimes that is even too hard in the beginning. I always liked listening to women's speaker meetings on youtube. I will pray for you and wish you the best of luck. I hope you have a lovely day.
I've been in your shoes. Today I turn 39 and it is also my 2 year sobriety date. I drank for 20 years and the last 2 years of my drinking was insane. I got 4 dui's, was in and out of detox and rehab and the hospital. I also have 2 children who are 9 and 11 now. For me it took a massive seizure and being 51'50'd to get to the point that I could start to recover. I think it is great you are taking a step by reaching out for help on this forum. If I can give any advice, I would say find a few women's meetings, get a sponsor and start working on the steps. Sometimes that is even too hard in the beginning. I always liked listening to women's speaker meetings on youtube. I will pray for you and wish you the best of luck. I hope you have a lovely day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by dizzybee
Hey Girl -
Just wanna say I'm right there with you. This is my second time checking in on this site since my first post like 2 months ago. Still drinking, and feeling just like you - depression, anxiety, and just so sick of feeling chained to drinking. I couldn't tell you the last time I went 3 days in a row without drinking.
I appreciate reading everyone's approach - it is encouraging. I'm hoping to plan each hour I'm not working and just focus on making it through moment by moment. I still don't really feel comfortable going to in person meetings (mostly bc of my job) but I realize I can't quit totally alone. Thinking about going to a therapist or counselor.
I'm over the shame and embarrassment and just utter loss of time to drinking. I'm rooting for you Girl and you are not alone in this!
Just wanna say I'm right there with you. This is my second time checking in on this site since my first post like 2 months ago. Still drinking, and feeling just like you - depression, anxiety, and just so sick of feeling chained to drinking. I couldn't tell you the last time I went 3 days in a row without drinking.
I appreciate reading everyone's approach - it is encouraging. I'm hoping to plan each hour I'm not working and just focus on making it through moment by moment. I still don't really feel comfortable going to in person meetings (mostly bc of my job) but I realize I can't quit totally alone. Thinking about going to a therapist or counselor.
I'm over the shame and embarrassment and just utter loss of time to drinking. I'm rooting for you Girl and you are not alone in this!
I'm rooting for you too, dizzy. This isn't going to be easy, but we can do this. Alcohol needs to go! How do you plan on quitting? How are you doing today?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by caleighj2279
Good Morning,
I've been in your shoes. Today I turn 39 and it is also my 2 year sobriety date. I drank for 20 years and the last 2 years of my drinking was insane. I got 4 dui's, was in and out of detox and rehab and the hospital. I also have 2 children who are 9 and 11 now. For me it took a massive seizure and being 51'50'd to get to the point that I could start to recover. I think it is great you are taking a step by reaching out for help on this forum. If I can give any advice, I would say find a few women's meetings, get a sponsor and start working on the steps. Sometimes that is even too hard in the beginning. I always liked listening to women's speaker meetings on youtube. I will pray for you and wish you the best of luck. I hope you have a lovely day.
I've been in your shoes. Today I turn 39 and it is also my 2 year sobriety date. I drank for 20 years and the last 2 years of my drinking was insane. I got 4 dui's, was in and out of detox and rehab and the hospital. I also have 2 children who are 9 and 11 now. For me it took a massive seizure and being 51'50'd to get to the point that I could start to recover. I think it is great you are taking a step by reaching out for help on this forum. If I can give any advice, I would say find a few women's meetings, get a sponsor and start working on the steps. Sometimes that is even too hard in the beginning. I always liked listening to women's speaker meetings on youtube. I will pray for you and wish you the best of luck. I hope you have a lovely day.
Congratulations on 2 years!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by Readygo
It’s not easy, but you aren’t hopeless. I have spent a lot of time reading memoirs of addicts, visiting this site, keeping hands busy with other drinks (even water) and listening to lots of music. I think it’s about starting small, making small changes and having small goals. Like one month... 2 months... 3 months. I’m on day 20 and with all I listed above this is the longest I’ve been sober for the last 8 years except for when I was pregnant.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by Ken0331
Yeah, I tried to quit on my own, too. Failed miserably each time. The binges got harder, longer, and eventually hangovers turned into withdrawals. I didn't know where to begin, either.
If I could go back in time and talk to that man and tell him what I know today, I'd tell him to make an appointment with the PCP/family doctor and go tell him the truth about those drinking patterns, and how long, and the failures at staying stopped.
So I'll tell you the same. The medical professionals are a good starting point. If your PCP says he/she doesn't have a lot of experience with alcoholism, ask for a referral to an addiction specialist.
A therapist, counselor, or someone in the mental health field with some experience with alcoholism is a good place to start, too. You can't do this alone; the disease is more powerful than you. Get some help. Discuss some programs with this person, find one you think you like and work it.
You can do it! It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
If I could go back in time and talk to that man and tell him what I know today, I'd tell him to make an appointment with the PCP/family doctor and go tell him the truth about those drinking patterns, and how long, and the failures at staying stopped.
So I'll tell you the same. The medical professionals are a good starting point. If your PCP says he/she doesn't have a lot of experience with alcoholism, ask for a referral to an addiction specialist.
A therapist, counselor, or someone in the mental health field with some experience with alcoholism is a good place to start, too. You can't do this alone; the disease is more powerful than you. Get some help. Discuss some programs with this person, find one you think you like and work it.
You can do it! It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
I'm on the search for a therapist as well.
Thanks for your message.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Welcome girl! I was an every 2 to 3 day binger as well. The amount I would drink each binge increased over time to the point of blackouts every time. Getting sober was really hard in ways I didn't expect (prolonged withdrawal symptoms), but it's worth it. I'm about 1.5 years now. Good idea to see a dr. first and be honest about your drinking, I wish I would have done that off the bat, I did not
These are some things that worked for me along with meds.. ... at first I avoided all situations/places that triggered me. Grocery store was one..too easy to buy wine, so stock up on stuff, especially sweets. Better to eat ice cream than drink! ( the sweet tooth does go away). I drove a different way home to avoid the store. Be aware of HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) ..common triggers. Stay hydrated. Have a simple plan if you do have an urge...post here (we will help you through it) .eat something..go for a walk..leave the situation, etc.
I also used AVRT a bit, it's explained in the secular forum. I rarely hear from my A/V anymore.(addictive voice).
I can't believe the hell and obsession I went through to drink that poison. It's sooo much better being sober.
Best to you, keep posting.. it helps!
These are some things that worked for me along with meds.. ... at first I avoided all situations/places that triggered me. Grocery store was one..too easy to buy wine, so stock up on stuff, especially sweets. Better to eat ice cream than drink! ( the sweet tooth does go away). I drove a different way home to avoid the store. Be aware of HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) ..common triggers. Stay hydrated. Have a simple plan if you do have an urge...post here (we will help you through it) .eat something..go for a walk..leave the situation, etc.
I also used AVRT a bit, it's explained in the secular forum. I rarely hear from my A/V anymore.(addictive voice).
I can't believe the hell and obsession I went through to drink that poison. It's sooo much better being sober.
Best to you, keep posting.. it helps!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by Offthemast
Took a lot of B vitamins (B-complex, Niacin, B-12), multivitamins, milk thistle, Vit D, Magnesium, Black Cumin Oil, etc...
It's rough, and it hurts especially in the first few days. I've been doing natural fresh vegetable juice and taking supplements (Vitamin B complex, milk thistle, vit a, d, and most importantly magnesium and potassium, all which alcoholics are usually deficient in) *disclaimer, not med advice just helped me*.
Now most of my symptoms are gone, still a bit groggy, but sleeping well, mood is starting to improve and my blood pressure is about 135/100..
Just know it does get better.. If some of the symptoms are too much to handle, see a doctor. Some meds can help make this difficult transition easier.
Good luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by Juicer
The above helped me.. I'm only on day 5, and the first 3 days were rough. Horrible insomnia (with hypnic jerks), blood pressure soared to 198, vomiting, exhaustion, anxiety, headaches. It nearly triggered me back into drinking...
It's rough, and it hurts especially in the first few days. I've been doing natural fresh vegetable juice and taking supplements (Vitamin B complex, milk thistle, vit a, d, and most importantly magnesium and potassium, all which alcoholics are usually deficient in) *disclaimer, not med advice just helped me*.
Now most of my symptoms are gone, still a bit groggy, but sleeping well, mood is starting to improve and my blood pressure is about 135/100..
Just know it does get better.. If some of the symptoms are too much to handle, see a doctor. Some meds can help make this difficult transition easier.
Good luck!
It's rough, and it hurts especially in the first few days. I've been doing natural fresh vegetable juice and taking supplements (Vitamin B complex, milk thistle, vit a, d, and most importantly magnesium and potassium, all which alcoholics are usually deficient in) *disclaimer, not med advice just helped me*.
Now most of my symptoms are gone, still a bit groggy, but sleeping well, mood is starting to improve and my blood pressure is about 135/100..
Just know it does get better.. If some of the symptoms are too much to handle, see a doctor. Some meds can help make this difficult transition easier.
Good luck!
Thank you and good luck to you too. It sounds like you've got a start to things.
I wish we could just speed through the first month, but I know the suffering is part of the process.
I'm loading up on vitamins and healthy foods and hoping so hard that I see the other side
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by PennyLane76
Welcome girl! I was an every 2 to 3 day binger as well. The amount I would drink each binge increased over time to the point of blackouts every time. Getting sober was really hard in ways I didn't expect (prolonged withdrawal symptoms), but it's worth it. I'm about 1.5 years now. Good idea to see a dr. first and be honest about your drinking, I wish I would have done that off the bat, I did not
These are some things that worked for me along with meds.. ... at first I avoided all situations/places that triggered me. Grocery store was one..too easy to buy wine, so stock up on stuff, especially sweets. Better to eat ice cream than drink! ( the sweet tooth does go away). I drove a different way home to avoid the store. Be aware of HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) ..common triggers. Stay hydrated. Have a simple plan if you do have an urge...post here (we will help you through it) .eat something..go for a walk..leave the situation, etc.
I also used AVRT a bit, it's explained in the secular forum. I rarely hear from my A/V anymore.(addictive voice).
I can't believe the hell and obsession I went through to drink that poison. It's sooo much better being sober.
Best to you, keep posting.. it helps!
These are some things that worked for me along with meds.. ... at first I avoided all situations/places that triggered me. Grocery store was one..too easy to buy wine, so stock up on stuff, especially sweets. Better to eat ice cream than drink! ( the sweet tooth does go away). I drove a different way home to avoid the store. Be aware of HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) ..common triggers. Stay hydrated. Have a simple plan if you do have an urge...post here (we will help you through it) .eat something..go for a walk..leave the situation, etc.
I also used AVRT a bit, it's explained in the secular forum. I rarely hear from my A/V anymore.(addictive voice).
I can't believe the hell and obsession I went through to drink that poison. It's sooo much better being sober.
Best to you, keep posting.. it helps!
Thank you!
I'll have to look into AVRT. Im not familiar with it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Oldsmar, FL
Posts: 22
You can do this. Use whatever resources are available to you, especially this forum. If need be, don't be afraid to get professional help (medical and/or professional). I drank daily for at least 25 years and have tried to quit many times before. This time I want it to stick....only 2 weeks sober this time. There is plenty of support here for you....including me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 6
Me
I stopped drinking nearly 2 years ago. I'd tried everything and failed. The longest I'd ever gone was 3 months, but even then, I knew I'd drink again. I went into detox in January which was amazing, then into rehab which was appalling. Came out after a month effectively, back into detox a month later. The second time did the trick, or it has so far. AA does help me, although it's not for everyone. I only go once a week, and that's fine for me. Others go loads more. I always thought that it was the physical withdrawal that would get me. It's not, it's the mental side of it. It's a constant battle for all of us . People manage to stop in different ways, or don't, sadly. It's an ongoing battle, but it's worth it, just to be able to actually LIVE your life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by sfrn1968
You can do this. Use whatever resources are available to you, especially this forum. If need be, don't be afraid to get professional help (medical and/or professional). I drank daily for at least 25 years and have tried to quit many times before. This time I want it to stick....only 2 weeks sober this time. There is plenty of support here for you....including me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by Llywelyn
I stopped drinking nearly 2 years ago. I'd tried everything and failed. The longest I'd ever gone was 3 months, but even then, I knew I'd drink again. I went into detox in January which was amazing, then into rehab which was appalling. Came out after a month effectively, back into detox a month later. The second time did the trick, or it has so far. AA does help me, although it's not for everyone. I only go once a week, and that's fine for me. Others go loads more. I always thought that it was the physical withdrawal that would get me. It's not, it's the mental side of it. It's a constant battle for all of us . People manage to stop in different ways, or don't, sadly. It's an ongoing battle, but it's worth it, just to be able to actually LIVE your life.
I'm not ready for meetings yet but I did schedule a doctor's appointment and I'm looking into therapy.
It's great talking to everyone here and gaining insight and hope.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Welcome.
For me it was absolutely, starkly simple: quit.
After years of alcoholic drinking and a whole lot of loss, pain, suffering- everything, in all ways- I finally HEARD and listened - I had to quit or I would die. So, I went cold turkey.
I've talked elsewhere about that decision to just be DONE- and I would do it that way again. I quit from a very serious (a handle a day- the largest US bottle you can buy) vodka habit - and I suffered both immediately and with subsequent PAWS. But it was like I could not stand to drink any more and whatever came with sobriety was going to be what it was. I gambled that things would be better on this side. They have far exceeded any expectations I could have dreamed up.
I decided that an uncertain future- physically, then who knew what!- was better than a certain death by drinking.
I finally went to AA. Those of us in recovery (I am almost 2 yrs, next month, so still a baby compared to many) have found that SOME plan of action- some program- is what had to follow the decision to quit, whether that part was cold turkey, detox in a hospital, dr care, whatever.
I stuck with AA- others can tell you about different programs and their plans- and started having a clear head and a healing body, and then I started really working the program. You can read on here about AA, Secular Recovery, SMART.....the common thing those of us with good lives in recovery have is consistent, daily action. I go to 3-6 mtgs a week (3 is low, my best is 4-5) and I have six things I do every single morning for recovery work. My spiritual life- AA just posits that you need to believe in something greater than yourself, whatever that or whoever that is- is an ongoing growth and a daily habit I feed.
You CAN quit and you can find a new life. Nothing was better when I was drinking- nothing.
Hope you stay on here and also consider IRL support.
Best to you.
For me it was absolutely, starkly simple: quit.
After years of alcoholic drinking and a whole lot of loss, pain, suffering- everything, in all ways- I finally HEARD and listened - I had to quit or I would die. So, I went cold turkey.
I've talked elsewhere about that decision to just be DONE- and I would do it that way again. I quit from a very serious (a handle a day- the largest US bottle you can buy) vodka habit - and I suffered both immediately and with subsequent PAWS. But it was like I could not stand to drink any more and whatever came with sobriety was going to be what it was. I gambled that things would be better on this side. They have far exceeded any expectations I could have dreamed up.
I decided that an uncertain future- physically, then who knew what!- was better than a certain death by drinking.
I finally went to AA. Those of us in recovery (I am almost 2 yrs, next month, so still a baby compared to many) have found that SOME plan of action- some program- is what had to follow the decision to quit, whether that part was cold turkey, detox in a hospital, dr care, whatever.
I stuck with AA- others can tell you about different programs and their plans- and started having a clear head and a healing body, and then I started really working the program. You can read on here about AA, Secular Recovery, SMART.....the common thing those of us with good lives in recovery have is consistent, daily action. I go to 3-6 mtgs a week (3 is low, my best is 4-5) and I have six things I do every single morning for recovery work. My spiritual life- AA just posits that you need to believe in something greater than yourself, whatever that or whoever that is- is an ongoing growth and a daily habit I feed.
You CAN quit and you can find a new life. Nothing was better when I was drinking- nothing.
Hope you stay on here and also consider IRL support.
Best to you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 187
Originally Posted by GirlScreaming
~
I'm rooting for you too, dizzy. This isn't going to be easy, but we can do this. Alcohol needs to go! How do you plan on quitting? How are you doing today?
I'm rooting for you too, dizzy. This isn't going to be easy, but we can do this. Alcohol needs to go! How do you plan on quitting? How are you doing today?
I really appreciate you responding. It means a lot to know someone out there is rooting for me. How are you doing today?
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