Lillian74

Tomorrow I’m 14 days without alcohol. I guess you’d say I was a functioning alcoholic...drinking 5-7 beers a night for years before bed, yet never during the day. I knew it was a problem when I started planning on how much I had left before I went to work in the morning. If I had to stop and get some after so I could at least have 4. I knew it was a problem when I started planning my nights and early exits from events so I could have my drinks in on time.
I know it’s a lie. Alcohol is a lie. I watched my dad go through it, but I didn’t think I had the same problem since I didn’t drink it all day. Wrong. I’ve been reading these forums for the past 13 days, praying to my Heavenly Father and replacing it with calming tea and exercise.
No one knows how I was, how I am. I just could use some encouragement to get through some of these nights. I know I can’t ever be an occasional drinker, so the thoughts of ‘just drink on Saturday nights’ are already exposed as a lie.
I know I’m jumping around. Sorry. This is a first that I’m reaching out and being open about my problem. I know time and patience will make it easier. Any tips to help me get through? One day at a time, my strength is in my Lord....this being human thing kinda stinks sometimes.

Dee74

Welcome Lillian - you'll find a ton of support here

D

Lillian74

Thank you Dee!

Opivotal

Congratulations, Lillian! 2 weeks is great.

I'm glad you reached out for support. The fantastic people here carried me through some tough times. Keep posting, we're here for you.

Lillian74

Thank you!

Verdantia

Welcome, Lilian! So glad you're with us. This is a fabulous place for advice and support with very kind and caring people.

Hevyn

2 weeks is wonderful, Lillian.

You're wise to take action now. I didn't pay attention to the warning signs & kept on trying to control how much I drank. I ended up dependent on it, with a ruined life. This won't happen to you. Reading & posting here really helped with the anxiety in the early days. We all understand what you're going through.

Lillian74

Thank you, exactly why I’m here. I hope you’re all doing well.

Readygo

You sound so so much like me except mine was mostly wine. A bottle a night would generally Sufice unless I started earlier than maybe a bottle and a beer or two or a rum and diet. Reading about if I was having enough I found I had early signs.

So far this site has been amazing! Lots of support and a great way to vent when you are craving. Looking forward to having you here!

rascalwhiteoak

It sounds like you're coming to terms with your addiction, Lillian. Congrats on two weeks!

ProfessorD

Hi there! I relate to a lot in your story--the one-tracking thinking about alcohol, the secrecy. The illusion that I am "high-functioning" in spite of all my suffering. I want to quit because I feel my life has become small, unhealthy, and unsatisfying. 2 weeks is amazing! Congrats

Rar

Welcome Lillian. Your pattern sounds pretty much like mine when I was still working and drinking. I understand exactly where you're coming from. I wish I had stopped when those warning signs surfaced to me. 2 weeks is awesome. Congratulations! You can do this!

Lillian74

Thank you all so much! I hope I can encourage you all as much as you’ve encouraged me.
I’m so glad this site is here.