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-   -   Totally Alone (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/422205-totally-alone.html)

sweetichick 01-19-2018 06:44 PM

Totally Alone
 
My neighbour has totally ended it with me after I went over there drunk on Monday and had a go at him about him seeing his second ex wife. He could cope with my binges on and off but I had totally lost it over the Christmas period. So that was the final straw for him. He says I'm just a troublemaker.

I now have only one friend to talk to and he's an alcoholic himself so not really someone I want to hang out with. I had 3 friends but my neighbour got rid of them.

Today is day 4 for me and I am finding it tough. I am finding myself in tears a lot . I feel ripped off financially, used and abused and have never been treated like this before. I know I will make new real life friends eventually. It was a recipe for disaster letting him isolate me like that. I knew it at the time.

Just needed to tell someone. Thanks for listening.

badgerden 01-19-2018 06:56 PM

Your never alone here Sweetichick, glad you found us. Congrats on day 4!! Not an easy feat sometimes!

Badge

TheDude8D 01-19-2018 07:14 PM

Think you've almost made it to day 5 which is halfway to 10 and if you just multiply by itself your basically at day 100 😂
There will always be trials in life, what matters is how you decide to handle them. Wishing you the best of luck!

ScottFromWI 01-19-2018 07:22 PM

Your neighbor is no friend of yours, never was and never will be Sweetichick. Please stay away, nothing good will come of it.

You were doing pretty well there for a while and getting out to see others, why did you decide to drink again?

Dee74 01-19-2018 07:58 PM

I'm glad you're on day 4 sweetichick.

things will get better so long as you focus on you, your recovery, and the Present.

D

sweetichick 01-19-2018 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottFromWI (Post 6753889)
Your neighbor is no friend of yours, never was and never will be Sweetichick. Please stay away, nothing good will come of it.

You were doing pretty well there for a while and getting out to see others, why did you decide to drink again?

It was seeing his exwife getting dropped off by his stepdaughter and him taking both wives out. I took out another loan to get a smoke and ended up buying alcohol as well. I decided alcohol doesn't help anything. It just leads me to do stupid things. My panic attacks have stopped since I ended it with him or he ended it with me.

ProfessorD 01-19-2018 08:29 PM

Aw, you aren't alone! It sounds like it would be very hard to make a positive change in your life with that drama around you. Although it's very hard, I think for a lot of us getting sober means changing who we hang out with. Lean on your friend, feel your feelings right now with the knowledge that something else and someone else positive will come into your life if you're open. My two cents :)

SimplyFree 01-19-2018 10:24 PM

Alone used to be my greatest fear. I married because I was lonely, only to find out there is such a thing as married and lonely. I started drinking because I was mourning being left alone. Now I’ve found it to be my safe place. Its the place with the least amount of drama and stress. Otherwise everyone wants something, there are lots of “takers” , but I give what I have and am content to wake up sober.

Nowsthetime 01-20-2018 05:42 AM

You are not alone!

What do you want to bet that he will come around again after allegedly ďbreaking it upĒ with you. This is part of his games and manipulation... and you are letting it happen.

This is up to you! You have power! You have recieved all kinds of advice here. Itís up to you to take it and make a change.

This is your only life! Is this how you want to spend it?

You know this man is toxic! He isnít good for you! Love yourself first and donít allow this anymore!!!

Iím sorry that you are feeling low and that you drank but get up and keep going! You are worth it!!!!

Dee74 01-20-2018 01:53 PM

How are things sweetichick?
D

sweetichick 01-21-2018 07:38 PM

Thanks everyone for your replies. Atm I am on day 6 and went to a great AA meeting last night. I'm going again tonight as tomorrow is payday and normally the start of another binge. I have a phone number to ring tomorrow afternoon of an AA member who I will make myself accountable. At least I got out and met up with an old friend. Everyone recognises me which is a bit embarassing as I have been in and out for years. Hopefully this time I finally get the program and stop kidding myself.

Dee74 01-21-2018 07:45 PM

You're sounding good Sweetichick :)

D

Readygo 01-21-2018 07:52 PM

One piece of advise that has helped me is nothing about his situation will be improved upon with alcohol or drugs. Stick in there. This could be a transition period. Though not easy, necessary!

Verdantia 01-22-2018 03:22 AM

Hey sweetichick! Excellent job on 6 days. You are so right to have decided that alcohol doesn't help anything. In fact, there is nothing that is doesn't make much, much worse. I think everyone here can testify to that! Glad you're hitting some meetings, and I wish you much peace and strength on your sober journey.

sweetichick 01-22-2018 04:30 PM

I'm not really okay. Yesterday he went out with his second wife alone for 4 hours. I only knew this because I ran into them at the shops. Later she came back to his house again. I thought his current wife was there as it was her normal day off. I got angry and dropped the rest of his tools off. I must have scared her because she left nearly straight away. I went over to see him later and realised his current wife wasn't there and he told me they went out for lunch, he drank and played pokies. He reckoned he was grocery shopping as well that day. Today his current wife walked to the shops by herself. He wouldn't even go with her. He was still in bed. I can only imagine the pain she is going through. In a strange country has no friends a terrible husband. In saying all of this I think I have had a lucky escape. I knew he had a gambling problem, drinking and perversion. His second wife is more his age. They have been divorced 18 years. All this stress is tiring. I am too young. It still hurts though.I am still in tears a lot. We have agreed not to knock on each other's doors. We both want nothing to do with each other. Thanks for listening to my rant.

neferkamichael 01-22-2018 05:11 PM

Sweetichick, 6 days sober is just FANTASTIC, congratulations, rootin for ya. :egypt:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-I0kzxjqU7a...C103653560.jpg

Anna 01-22-2018 05:18 PM

Sweetichick, good work on Day 6 and getting support at meetings.

The neighbour guy is nothing but drama and pain. Stay away and look after yourself.

sweetichick 01-22-2018 05:28 PM

Thanks Anna. I was doing better mental till I talked to him again. You are absolutely right.

sweetichick 01-22-2018 10:55 PM

I am drinking again. Can't handle it. I'm ,8 days off the smokes and doing fine. My gp wants to see me tomorrow over my bipolar overdose. How do you handle life sober. I'm in bad health. Everyone in Aa seems to be men who I don't trust. Wish I was dead but have to think about my kids. Going crazy ou all this.

Dee74 01-22-2018 11:16 PM

I'm sorry you're drinking sweetichick.

There's a big difference between your posts sober and drinking.

I hope you'll stop tonight and call some of those AA numbers you have tomorrow.

D


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