Akc

Well I have not been in a good place last month or 2 and instead of doing the right thing and going to the doctors I picked up the wine, I’ve been sober 19 months.. I thought just 1 to take the ever persistent anxiety away! What was I thinking! 2 days later I’ve ploughed through lots of wine left over from Christmas so I stopped yesterday about 6pm in the evening ,tipped all booze down the sink... I can do this as I can’t stand to look at myself right now, but 10 hours and I am suffering the worst withdrawal, sweating and shaking I didn’t expect this level after a couple of days ... I feel like I did the first time around after drinking a bottle of vodka a day .. I know be been here before but I’m ashamed of myself and bit scared and could do with some advice

milly4me

Akc, I'm way to early into my own recovery (7 days) to give any real useful advice . . . but I do know your SHOULDN'T being hating on yourself. You really are awesome! I mean that. 'Cause you've been here before, and you aren't giving up, and that's amazing. Someone said in an other post, "never quit at quitting". And you aren't. This is just a little misstep on a much longer journey.

So don't be hard on yourself. You deserve to be cared for. Please take care of yourself.

Ihadmyfill

A trip to the Drs. or urgent care would be advisable. They can give you some meds. to make you more comfortable. After you get your withdrawals under control, you can then continue your recovery. Stand back up and dust yourself off....don't let the demon win.

Behappy1

BTDT and have the t-shirt! Just ONE more time and that’s it. I’m done! I too tested the water’s and quickly found out that one day turns into the next, into the next - yada yada yada.

I realize that I cannot have ONE drink. It never stops there. Ever. Glad you’re back, get through the withdrawals and get back on the horse.

kirstie30

Pick yourself up and start again . You have done so well . This is just a blip you can recover . U have worked hard and you haveny thrown it away you have good foundations there keep going . A trip to docs would be beneficial too xxxxx

DarklingSong

Well done on getting back here. Relapses are soul destroying at the time but I really believe you can learn from it and move forward. You are probably experiencing horrendous anxiety right now.......I know I was when I relapsed for 5 days. Hold tight....do not add any more self-recriminations. Rest up and be kind to yourself.
Take care.
DS

ReadyAtLast

I can undertsand. i had 3 .5 years and picked up again.

You had 19 months and learned so much and you can do this again. Recall what you learned last time and what got you and kept you sober. Add different stuff into it too so you don't relapse again.

Please don't underestimate how powerful this thing is. Welcome back.

Dee74

I'm sorry you're struggling akc.

The boitton line is you have ti oput the bittle down ansd keep it down. I spoent a lot of time here on SR when I quit so that I wouldn't run out and buy more booze.

If you're feeling really unwell, I really recommend you see a Dr, or go to your local ER/clinic etc.

You can do this - you've done it before - then you can work on making this the time that sticks

D

D

Nonsensical

“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”
- Pema Chodron

Goes easy on yourself.
Drink some water.
Get some rest.
You have work to do.

Akc

To everyone that has so kindly commented, thankyou! So a quick update, I did go and visit the doctor and he has now put me on anti anxiety meds, as for the withdrawal symptoms well from reading all your comments I do t have to tell you how horrendous the anxiety is ... but I did manage to sleep a bit and I’m now having a cup of tea and feeling bit better, still tight chest with anxiety and but so much better than 24 hours ago.. thankyou once again for all your comments it really does help so much 😊

Akc

Please don't underestimate how powerful this thing is. Welcome back.[/QUOTE]

Yes it’s so powerful, I ignored my mindset and all the warning signs .. but what scared me is the utter determination to of the addiction, I’ve read enough about people relapsing to know the outcome but at that moment I didn’t have the fight to stop me poring a glass.. I had 100 excuses and reasons in my head to say that it’s fine just have one!

Akc

[QUOTE=DarklingSong;6752335You are probably experiencing horrendous anxiety right now.......I know I was when I relapsed for 5 days. Hold tight....

The anxiety is unbearable but is easing off, tiny light at the end of the tunnel! Thank you for the support , I hope all is good in your world, This has been a shocking reminder of just how hideous alcohol is .. glad to be back

Akc

thankyou

Done4today

Welcome back Akc,

Be kind to yourself. You made the hardest part of starting over. You started over. You know you can do it and use this relapse as a learning experience. As down you feel there is a positive take from it. Write out a list of learning points from this relapse. Write out your anxieties, fears, resentments, etc. make a gratitude list. You'll see that you now have something to share with us to help us stay sober with you.

Akc

Thank you, I and definitely going to use this experience as a lesson and learn from it 😊

ReadyAtLast

Yes it’s so powerful, I ignored my mindset and all the warning signs .. but what scared me is the utter determination to of the addiction, I’ve read enough about people relapsing to know the outcome but at that moment I didn’t have the fight to stop me poring a glass.. I had 100 excuses and reasons in my head to say that it’s fine just have one![/QUOTE]

Hi akc how are you today? Glad you went to the docs. I want to apologise I ve just re read my comment from yesterday. I didn't mean it to sound harsh at all. Or imply you were underestimating it. I picked up after 3 years and have been drinking on and off since then coming up for 2 years now. I'm on day 13 today after many previous attempts to quit again. My comments were that in my experience it is so powerful and I underestimated it. I hope you don't think I was implying you underestimated it.

Wishing you well.ral.

Akc

Hi akc how are you today? Glad you went to the docs. I want to apologise I ve just re read my comment from yesterday. I didn't mean it to sound harsh at all. Or imply you were underestimating it. I picked up after 3 years and have been drinking on and off since then coming up for 2 years now. I'm on day 13 today after many previous attempts to quit again. My comments were that in my experience it is so powerful and I underestimated it. I hope you don't think I was implying you underestimated it.

Wishing you well.ral.[/QUOTE]
You didn’t come across as harsh at all! What you wrote was very true! I really underestimated it, it’s so devious !but here we are ... again! Maybe like you I got to around 2 years, u relapsed at 3 sounds like we both had a touch of denial and thought I’m not an alcoholic just one blah blah blah.. I feel pretty rotten today still a bit shakey and this anxious felling permanently buzzing away .. I’m also just so disappointed as I had done so well up until that point
Thank you checking up on me today , I just going to have a quiet day at home and tomorrow I should be feeling back on track
Take care abi

Dee74

I'm glad you feel a little better akc - hate the addiction, not the addicted

D

Akc

Thanks Dee74! Couldn’t agree more 😊

ReadyAtLast

Hi akc thanks for that. Glad you are OK. I'm in the January class for quitting this month. Why not come and join us. It helps. ☺