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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
New here
As the saying goes ‘long time listener, first time caller’.
I’m four days sober. Wine was my poison of choice with the ‘glass while cooking’ turning into a bottle a night, that was fast heading for two bottles and more than a few evenings waking up on the sofa at 2am. At first an only at the weekend habit, became a 5 times a week and no alcohol free days even when I was not having a binge.
Two weeks ago I decided to try tapering down, which seems to have worked in terms of easing the withdrawal symptoms. Last week was a small glass at night and now none for 4 days. I also saw my Dr who did my blood work and noted my high bp. No surprise my liver numbers are scary high, blood sugar borderline (I am also overweight) and cholesterol elevated. The Dr has me on bp medication, the tapering seems to have helped me not to have developed shaking or headaches, though I do feel exhausted easily. I have wicked sugar cravings and am trying to feed them with fresh fruit not processed sugar.
I’m not in good shape. I’m 54 and so cross with myself for being such a poor steward of my body. I am a widow with an autistic child, so I am all he has. I am SO angry with myself.
Every year I don’t drink in February and quite often continue that sobriety for months beyond that, but that has always been because I’ve told myself I can drink when I want and I am just choosing not to. I think deep down that is the lie I am already telling myself - abstain, get the blood work back to normal and then learn your lesson and only drink in moderation. I have enough personal experience and have read stories here to know how that one will end up and yet at the moment it is where my head is. Stupid I know.
AA is not for me, I am in a small town and sadly people do not always respect the anonymity of the people, but I don’t think trying to do this in secret (like my drinking) is a good idea. I am scared by my liver results, I need to make a change. I hope posting honestly here is a good early step, I just feel the odds are against me.
I’m four days sober. Wine was my poison of choice with the ‘glass while cooking’ turning into a bottle a night, that was fast heading for two bottles and more than a few evenings waking up on the sofa at 2am. At first an only at the weekend habit, became a 5 times a week and no alcohol free days even when I was not having a binge.
Two weeks ago I decided to try tapering down, which seems to have worked in terms of easing the withdrawal symptoms. Last week was a small glass at night and now none for 4 days. I also saw my Dr who did my blood work and noted my high bp. No surprise my liver numbers are scary high, blood sugar borderline (I am also overweight) and cholesterol elevated. The Dr has me on bp medication, the tapering seems to have helped me not to have developed shaking or headaches, though I do feel exhausted easily. I have wicked sugar cravings and am trying to feed them with fresh fruit not processed sugar.
I’m not in good shape. I’m 54 and so cross with myself for being such a poor steward of my body. I am a widow with an autistic child, so I am all he has. I am SO angry with myself.
Every year I don’t drink in February and quite often continue that sobriety for months beyond that, but that has always been because I’ve told myself I can drink when I want and I am just choosing not to. I think deep down that is the lie I am already telling myself - abstain, get the blood work back to normal and then learn your lesson and only drink in moderation. I have enough personal experience and have read stories here to know how that one will end up and yet at the moment it is where my head is. Stupid I know.
AA is not for me, I am in a small town and sadly people do not always respect the anonymity of the people, but I don’t think trying to do this in secret (like my drinking) is a good idea. I am scared by my liver results, I need to make a change. I hope posting honestly here is a good early step, I just feel the odds are against me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 192
Originally Posted by scottynz 
As the saying goes ‘long time listener, first time caller’.
I’m four days sober. Wine was my poison of choice with the ‘glass while cooking’ turning into a bottle a night, that was fast heading for two bottles and more than a few evenings waking up on the sofa at 2am. At first an only at the weekend habit, became a 5 times a week and no alcohol free days even when I was not having a binge.
Two weeks ago I decided to try tapering down, which seems to have worked in terms of easing the withdrawal symptoms. Last week was a small glass at night and now none for 4 days. I also saw my Dr who did my blood work and noted my high bp. No surprise my liver numbers are scary high, blood sugar borderline (I am also overweight) and cholesterol elevated. The Dr has me on bp medication, the tapering seems to have helped me not to have developed shaking or headaches, though I do feel exhausted easily. I have wicked sugar cravings and am trying to feed them with fresh fruit not processed sugar.
I’m not in good shape. I’m 54 and so cross with myself for being such a poor steward of my body. I am a widow with an autistic child, so I am all he has. I am SO angry with myself.
Every year I don’t drink in February and quite often continue that sobriety for months beyond that, but that has always been because I’ve told myself I can drink when I want and I am just choosing not to. I think deep down that is the lie I am already telling myself - abstain, get the blood work back to normal and then learn your lesson and only drink in moderation. I have enough personal experience and have read stories here to know how that one will end up and yet at the moment it is where my head is. Stupid I know.
AA is not for me, I am in a small town and sadly people do not always respect the anonymity of the people, but I don’t think trying to do this in secret (like my drinking) is a good idea. I am scared by my liver results, I need to make a change. I hope posting honestly here is a good early step, I just feel the odds are against me.
I’m four days sober. Wine was my poison of choice with the ‘glass while cooking’ turning into a bottle a night, that was fast heading for two bottles and more than a few evenings waking up on the sofa at 2am. At first an only at the weekend habit, became a 5 times a week and no alcohol free days even when I was not having a binge.
Two weeks ago I decided to try tapering down, which seems to have worked in terms of easing the withdrawal symptoms. Last week was a small glass at night and now none for 4 days. I also saw my Dr who did my blood work and noted my high bp. No surprise my liver numbers are scary high, blood sugar borderline (I am also overweight) and cholesterol elevated. The Dr has me on bp medication, the tapering seems to have helped me not to have developed shaking or headaches, though I do feel exhausted easily. I have wicked sugar cravings and am trying to feed them with fresh fruit not processed sugar.
I’m not in good shape. I’m 54 and so cross with myself for being such a poor steward of my body. I am a widow with an autistic child, so I am all he has. I am SO angry with myself.
Every year I don’t drink in February and quite often continue that sobriety for months beyond that, but that has always been because I’ve told myself I can drink when I want and I am just choosing not to. I think deep down that is the lie I am already telling myself - abstain, get the blood work back to normal and then learn your lesson and only drink in moderation. I have enough personal experience and have read stories here to know how that one will end up and yet at the moment it is where my head is. Stupid I know.
AA is not for me, I am in a small town and sadly people do not always respect the anonymity of the people, but I don’t think trying to do this in secret (like my drinking) is a good idea. I am scared by my liver results, I need to make a change. I hope posting honestly here is a good early step, I just feel the odds are against me.
Nothing impacts a recovering alcoholic more than hearing the language of the heart from another alcoholic in recovery.
This site has saved me.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,522
Welcome, Scotty. It's so good to have you join us.
I was older too when I came here - drinking every day. I really didn't expect to stay around - but here I am, checking in each day - and 10 yrs. sober. I drank for 30 years - it was part of everything I did.
Try not to be angry - none of us sets out to sabotage ourselves. We usually just use it to try and cope - never dreaming we'll become dependent on it. Be kind and patient with yourself as you heal. You can do this, scotty.
I was older too when I came here - drinking every day. I really didn't expect to stay around - but here I am, checking in each day - and 10 yrs. sober. I drank for 30 years - it was part of everything I did.
Try not to be angry - none of us sets out to sabotage ourselves. We usually just use it to try and cope - never dreaming we'll become dependent on it. Be kind and patient with yourself as you heal. You can do this, scotty.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Welcome, scottynz!
You took an excellent first step. I'm so happy you decided to post. The support I received here made all the difference for me. Try not to beat yourself up, you're here and taking action. Four days sober is terrific!
There are many programs other than AA. Research some of them and pick what works for you. If you have questions, ask away.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))
You took an excellent first step. I'm so happy you decided to post. The support I received here made all the difference for me. Try not to beat yourself up, you're here and taking action. Four days sober is terrific!
There are many programs other than AA. Research some of them and pick what works for you. If you have questions, ask away.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 156
Hey you have made some serious progress. Seeing the doctor, blood work, sober days, awesome job!! I’m impressed. I am still chicken to tell my doctor. This site has helped me tremendously. This is where it all began for me, a couple of months ago. Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,100
I can relate to the two-bottles-a-night wine habit very much. Things only got worse after I switched to hard liquor.
You've done the right thing by not only cutting that rhythm off but also by being here. You're in the right place. Congrats on your time in sobriety. You're taking positive steps forward.
Welcome!
T.
You've done the right thing by not only cutting that rhythm off but also by being here. You're in the right place. Congrats on your time in sobriety. You're taking positive steps forward.
Welcome!
T.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 7
Thanks very much for posting and great news that you have seen your doctor and are on here, seeking the support of others in the same position.
I think what the others have said here is true - don't beat yourself up for the past but congratulate yourself on the positive decision to do something about it. I, of course, know very little about your background but being a widow and sole carer to an autistic child is a good deal to cope with. If that's how you've coped in the past, good on you for finding a new, healthier way of doing it and for making a choice and taking control.
For what it's worth, I'm on here for the first time too, have not had a drink in only 20 days and am also not going to go down the AA route but am looking instead at holistic means of recovery. Exercise is a big part of that, not least to get me back in some sort of shape, having declined from being a very fit person to now being overweight and out of shape. Reading too is proving a bonus - Catherine Gray's recently published The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober has been a real support, written in a completely unpretentious, realistic manner.
Good luck with your recovery and, of course, shout out if you're wanting someone to talk about it with. You should be proud of yourself for taking the step. Stick at it!
I think what the others have said here is true - don't beat yourself up for the past but congratulate yourself on the positive decision to do something about it. I, of course, know very little about your background but being a widow and sole carer to an autistic child is a good deal to cope with. If that's how you've coped in the past, good on you for finding a new, healthier way of doing it and for making a choice and taking control.
For what it's worth, I'm on here for the first time too, have not had a drink in only 20 days and am also not going to go down the AA route but am looking instead at holistic means of recovery. Exercise is a big part of that, not least to get me back in some sort of shape, having declined from being a very fit person to now being overweight and out of shape. Reading too is proving a bonus - Catherine Gray's recently published The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober has been a real support, written in a completely unpretentious, realistic manner.
Good luck with your recovery and, of course, shout out if you're wanting someone to talk about it with. You should be proud of yourself for taking the step. Stick at it!
Reverse Psych
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Mountains of Deep South
Posts: 25
Another Welcome! 
I ditto all of the above posts -a great bunch of people here at SR. Life saving.
As far as liver test results, I’ve read that it’s not uncommon to have high numbers when tested while still/after imbibing. I’ve read a lot of people that have better-to-normal numbers once they have some sobriety under their belt and get retested.
Glad you’re here and keep coming back.
I ditto all of the above posts -a great bunch of people here at SR. Life saving.
As far as liver test results, I’ve read that it’s not uncommon to have high numbers when tested while still/after imbibing. I’ve read a lot of people that have better-to-normal numbers once they have some sobriety under their belt and get retested.
Glad you’re here and keep coming back.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Kia ora and welcome.
Since you do a yearly sobriety of a month or more, I think the trick will be to admit when you do drink you can't control it (like pretty much everyone here) and not take that first glass of wine in April/May.
Since it's almost February it's a great time to start!
Since you do a yearly sobriety of a month or more, I think the trick will be to admit when you do drink you can't control it (like pretty much everyone here) and not take that first glass of wine in April/May.
Since it's almost February it's a great time to start!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Oldsmar, FL
Posts: 22
Hi Scotty -
It's never too late. I just turned 50 this month and am trying to quit drinking for good for the umpteenth time. In fact, I originally joined here last October. I did well for about a month, then after a few stints in hospitals, relapsed into an all out 2 week binge. I have now been drink free for 2 weeks. There are plenty of us here who didnt have success beating this demon til later on in life. Youre in the right place.
It's never too late. I just turned 50 this month and am trying to quit drinking for good for the umpteenth time. In fact, I originally joined here last October. I did well for about a month, then after a few stints in hospitals, relapsed into an all out 2 week binge. I have now been drink free for 2 weeks. There are plenty of us here who didnt have success beating this demon til later on in life. Youre in the right place.
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