i just told my gf
 

****** conversation. i know she's been wanting to find the exit for a while and i don't blame her. it's been so hard to see her because i know she always wishes she wasn't here in the back of her mind. she hasn't said she's done but she's finally admitting she hasn't been happy for a long time. my parents were both alcoholics and i (and they) come from a background of abuse, i hate being strong in these situations, i hate walking away from someone for something that was forced on me. but she deserves better. i just wish **** wasn't so complicated.

What did you tell her? It's early and I may be being a bit thick, but I'm not sure I understand. Did you tell her that you don't want to be with her any more? Or that you've decided to go for sobriety and recovery so you can have an improved relationship where you can be more emotionally present for her?

Her not being happy being with you when you were actively drinking is not the same as her wishing she wasn't there. If she didnt care and didnt want to be with you, she probably wouldn't have put up with the drinking times.

BB

Welcome Notrealname,

I broke up, ghosted, ran from many relationships while actively drinking. I thought I was doing them a favor. Come to find out I didn't. Non-drinkers actually can care for people. They want to help people with nothing in return. They are emotionally mature and can express their feelings appropriately.

This Stuff isn't so complicated once we get sober, work on ourselves and get emotionally mature.

Good luck