Friend of alcohol who won't get help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 4
Friend of alcohol who won't get help
I dated someone for a few months. I knew from beginning he had alcohol issues. But I still fell in love with him. He got a dui when we first started dating but I still continued to see him even though his behavior was erratic at times. But his broken promises finally ended things. I got fed up. His mixed signals running hot and cold. He always asked me to be patient so he can get his life together. I said I'd try but I couldn't wait around forever but would still be his friend. Being just his friend is hard because I still have romantic interest in him. Plus I suspect he might of gotten hurt at work because of alcohol related incident but it also might of been an illness because of his use of alcohol. Ive tried reaching out to him as a friend in the hospital but he don't want talk to me. I dont know if he embarrassed or just not feeling well. I figured let him reach out to me when he ready. I know in my heart we will never have anything romantic again and he not the one for me because he's an addict. But should I let go of him? We've known each other for years.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Up to you.
I've let go of a few people. Sad, but it gets to the stage where if I have nothing they want, and they have nothing I want then it's a but if a no-brainer. If the friendship is just built on wishful thinking then it's just a recipe for hard-feelings, and pretty much like sowing seeds of resentment to harvest at a later date.
BB
I've let go of a few people. Sad, but it gets to the stage where if I have nothing they want, and they have nothing I want then it's a but if a no-brainer. If the friendship is just built on wishful thinking then it's just a recipe for hard-feelings, and pretty much like sowing seeds of resentment to harvest at a later date.
BB
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
Hi and welcome worried.
It is hard to watch someone self destruct in slow motion.
The bottom line is - no matter what advice you give or things you do, no one will change until they're ready to change. Some people never get to that point.
sorry to be bleak but it's really down to you and how strong you are as to whether you're prepared to stick around, knowing that possible outcome.
wishing you the best
D
It is hard to watch someone self destruct in slow motion.
The bottom line is - no matter what advice you give or things you do, no one will change until they're ready to change. Some people never get to that point.
sorry to be bleak but it's really down to you and how strong you are as to whether you're prepared to stick around, knowing that possible outcome.
wishing you the best
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 4
D
It is very hard watching him self destruct. I keep praying he'll get help and recognize his addiction. He knows he is an alcoholic but cant seem to stop. Im afaid its going kill him one day. At times I wish we'd kept it at friend level and never went there. I saw the red flags in the beginning.
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