Jesykah03

So I'm on lunch break and I found myself almost stopping at the gas station wanting to buy a drink. I'm thinking a small can of one of those lime a ritas. In my head I'm even calculating ok i have 8 hrs before i have to submit a sample in the breathalyzer. I should be ok the other part of me remembers someone telling me those things can detect up to 36 hours. Btw nobody answer that I rather believe it can detect the 36 hour of consumption. So instead I went to Starbucks and bought an iced coffee. I know I'm only on day 4 but I was doing good with no cravings I knew it would happen eventually.

dwtbd

And now you also know that when a craving comes , it goes , nothing to drink over, yeah ?
Just the wine witch, booze beast throwing a tantrum to get some, you run the show and you say it ain't gonna happenm, It Aint gonna happen , yeah ?
Dunkins better though

Jesykah03

Haven't tried dunkin I'll have to next time there's one next to the hosp I work by

MindfulMan

Good that u have that breathalyzer to keep you on track. Im a big fan of accountability

Jesykah03

Yeah but only for 86 more days less if I'm good. Which scares me to be honest.

August252015

IME breathalyzers can be beat. I won't share how I did it.

That aside. Nothing outside of myself- like a breathalyzer, another person, no car - nothing - stopped me if I wanted to drink. Until i....didn't want to drink, and I was DONE.

Are you ready to be done? Without external compunction? Tools are there to help us- maybe a breathalyzer does help you (though it doesn't sound like it was exactly what stopped you-?), and I can say that Antabuse was a good tool for my first 90 days - but IMO these are adjuncts not plans.

I hope you can get IRL support, use the support available here, and keep going - to a path of long term sobriety. You CAN do it - best to you.

Jesykah03

Well I don't want to think about how I can beat the breathalyzer. I have to submit 3 samples a day all in scheduled time frame. Also my monitor has a gps and a camera I have to look into it does a scan as I submit the sample.
So if I would of cheated and had that drink In reality I'd be cheating myself.

I didn't give in bc I didn't want too and I don't want to take a chance and go to jail. I want sobriety, you are right I do need irl help bc I never used to drink and if I did I knew my limit. I used to be everyone else's DD.

Dee74

For me it wasn't will power that worked cos part of my will wanted to drink.

Acceptance worked better for me - acceptance I had a toxic relationship with alcohol and that the only real way to deal with that was by not drinking again.

AI recommend making an action plan Jesykah - there's some good ideas here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

RUL23

Sorry off topic here...but is this in the US? And the breathalyzer is not in a car? Interesting

Jesykah03

Yes this is in the US. It's an in home/ portable monitor.

Honestly I much rather have this device than the in car one bc the one for the car you only submit a sample if you turn on the vehicle or plan to use it. So I could not use the car all weekend go on a binge and turn it on Monday so with this one I'm submitting a sample any time from 5am-8am 2nd sample 5-8pm 3rd sample 10pm-12am so I know the morning and evening sample gives me a huge gap but I'm really trying not to cheat myself during this time.

Oh I know I have a bad relationship with alcohol, I've abused it to numb myself.

Gottalife

The uninformed sometimes think an alcoholic that cannot stop drinking lacks willpower. If you try to get between an alcoholic and his booze, you will quickly find out how much willpower he has. Thinkk of the alcoholic who wakes up hungover, so sick that any normal person would be off to the doctor, yet he drags himself to work regardless, because money is required for the next drink. I reckon most alcoholics have more willpower than anyone, yet, on its own, it is often not enough to get us sober.

Ken0331

I hear the coffee at AA meetings is pretty good.


I had great willpower in many things in my life. 7 yrs of night school to get a degree while working 45-50 hrs a week. Graduating from Parris Island at 17.

My willpower amounted to nothing when it came to matching wits against alcoholism. All it was good for was in my relentless pursuit of getting my buzz. In spite of consequences, health problems, all manner of problems I'd manage to find a way to drink when I really wanted to. And I always really wanted to.

I had to surrender and realize my willpower alone wasn't enough. I needed help, and strangely when I did, I found that empowering.