Can we talk
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Hi Maggie
I don't think I'll be much use on this but I didn't want to "read and run". I was a steady stay-at-home drinker in the latter years and so I don't have the huge weight of guilt of what I might have done/said etc (although I'm not proud of myself). I don't tend to focus on the past, I just look to each day with a view of I will not be drinking on that day. That is a much simpler thing to do now that I'm a few months in.
Hopefully others will have some better advice!
I don't think I'll be much use on this but I didn't want to "read and run". I was a steady stay-at-home drinker in the latter years and so I don't have the huge weight of guilt of what I might have done/said etc (although I'm not proud of myself). I don't tend to focus on the past, I just look to each day with a view of I will not be drinking on that day. That is a much simpler thing to do now that I'm a few months in.
Hopefully others will have some better advice!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 366
Maggie,
Welcome!
I think there is a chat room always active if you want immediate "back and forth" conversation . . . though I haven't used it myself. I'm sure someone else can explain that option to you better.
I'm only on sober day 7 myself, so I don't have much wisdom to give.
But I encourage you to read, read, read through these boards. This whole forum is full of conversation about regrets and information about how to put all of that stuff behind us.
I'm glad to see you reaching out. There is a thread for of us who joined SR this month. Introduce yourself there also.
Welcome!
I think there is a chat room always active if you want immediate "back and forth" conversation . . . though I haven't used it myself. I'm sure someone else can explain that option to you better.
I'm only on sober day 7 myself, so I don't have much wisdom to give.
But I encourage you to read, read, read through these boards. This whole forum is full of conversation about regrets and information about how to put all of that stuff behind us.
I'm glad to see you reaching out. There is a thread for of us who joined SR this month. Introduce yourself there also.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hey Maggie.
The guilt and shame does ease as we work on our recovery. For me the 12-step program, worked with a sponsor through AA really helped me clear out all my old resentments against others and things from my past that gave me pain. I've learnt how to deal with life on life's term and move forward living a life of integrity and have started to like myself for the first time in decades.
It does get better if we stay sober and get willing to work on our recovery. Just not always as quickly as we might like.
Have you ever read the promises of AA? They really do come true. Pretty amazing stuff.
BB
The guilt and shame does ease as we work on our recovery. For me the 12-step program, worked with a sponsor through AA really helped me clear out all my old resentments against others and things from my past that gave me pain. I've learnt how to deal with life on life's term and move forward living a life of integrity and have started to like myself for the first time in decades.
It does get better if we stay sober and get willing to work on our recovery. Just not always as quickly as we might like.
Have you ever read the promises of AA? They really do come true. Pretty amazing stuff.
BB
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 222
It sure hit me- hard
I just stayed focused It became manageable
It is a good thing, at least for me because it’s a huge reason to turn things around
It’s a typical reaction for those recovering, I do believe and for me it’s one of the two big reasons I’ve stopped, the first being fear for my life
It gets better or easier to deal with as sober time passes
I just stayed focused It became manageable
It is a good thing, at least for me because it’s a huge reason to turn things around
It’s a typical reaction for those recovering, I do believe and for me it’s one of the two big reasons I’ve stopped, the first being fear for my life
It gets better or easier to deal with as sober time passes
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 9
Hi maggie
For me this is the hardest thing about being sober . But i deal with the guilt feelings sober because i know i was poorly when using and now i know i am putting yhe wrongs right just by being sober day by day . What good would come from using again . You would just add another day of guilt . Instead of every day sober where you are moving further and further away from the old you who was unreliable and untrustworthy. Xxxxx
For me this is the hardest thing about being sober . But i deal with the guilt feelings sober because i know i was poorly when using and now i know i am putting yhe wrongs right just by being sober day by day . What good would come from using again . You would just add another day of guilt . Instead of every day sober where you are moving further and further away from the old you who was unreliable and untrustworthy. Xxxxx
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi maggie - guilt is a pretty common topic here.
In the end I just accepted there was nothing I could do to change my past - whats done was done.
I just focused on today - I stayed sober, I did good things for people and , when it was possible appropriate and timely I made amends or restitution for the things I'd done in the past.
We are not bad people. We were sick and damaged people who did said and thought things we regret niow but don't confuse the thinsg we did for the person we are
There's a lot of support understanding and encouragement here
D
In the end I just accepted there was nothing I could do to change my past - whats done was done.
I just focused on today - I stayed sober, I did good things for people and , when it was possible appropriate and timely I made amends or restitution for the things I'd done in the past.
We are not bad people. We were sick and damaged people who did said and thought things we regret niow but don't confuse the thinsg we did for the person we are
There's a lot of support understanding and encouragement here
D
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