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Old 01-17-2018, 05:31 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I am new to this. I have been to rehab twice in the past 4 years. Ive tried AA but I really don't like the steps. A year and 1/2 ago, my sister passed away and I had been 8 months sober and completely fell off the wagon. Since then, I have been drinking off and on. Ive had to be hospitalized to detox. I have finally hit rock bottom. A month ago I was at a park and in my car with it running because it was cold and a cop came over. I wasnt planning on driving, I was going to walk home(the park is by my house). He smelled alcohol and gave me a OWI. I have court next week. I have lost trust with my family. Especially my college age son. I lost my job because I drive for my job. I have managed to completely turn my life upside down. I have never been in a chatroom but thought maybe this will help to talk to other people. Thankyou
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Old 01-17-2018, 06:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I also feel I've hit my rock bottom. I was arrested Dec 15 for my 2nd dwi. I totaled my car after being accident free for 3 years. I didn't lose my job I have great boses. I was court ordered to have an in breathalyzer. I have to blow in it 3x a day. I was so upset, but even though i was court ordered to not drink after i was let out on bond i still did,i even made sure before I had to start the in home monitor i went on my last binges. I know I've only been sober 3 1/2 days but on after the first day I realized even though it was court ordered sobriety I want it now. My kids have always been happy kids, but they are at an age where they def know and understand things without being told.

So i know the feeling of hoplesness. Lately my feelings are embarrassment, and I'm very ashamed.

But with this I am no longer in denial that I am an alcoholic
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Old 01-17-2018, 06:31 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I have had many friends with DUIs. I remember how down they felt when it first occurred. They thought their lives were over. They felt embarrassed and ashamed.

But it is 5-6 years later and they are doing great. But it TOOK TIME. It takes a lot of time to forgive yourself but remember to keep moving forward. As long as you go in the right direction, you are going to be better than you were yesterday. You know that you want to be better for your son, and for yourself. I believe in you. Continue seeking help in online forums and finding a sponsor. Best of luck to you, my friend.
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Old 01-17-2018, 06:36 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi and welcome, am

you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here.
This is the forum part of the board - less real tiem that chat.


if you're looking for the chat room you should find it here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/achat.php

D
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Old 01-17-2018, 07:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Welcome, am. We're so glad you joined us.

I'm sorry for the painful loss of your sister. It's tempting to think drinking will help see us through these times, so I understand. I'm glad you're ready to reclaim your life though. We're here to listen and help.
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Old 01-17-2018, 10:25 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Wow. Thankyou so much for the comments. I am so glad that I have joined here! I am definitely feeling a lot of shame and embarrasment. But, I did this to myself and have to face the music. Just day by day and hopefully things will get better. I have become a hermit. Feeling a bit hopeless, but I have to keep moving on. I am very bad at sharing in meetings and really dont like AA. I just dont like the steps, but I might try again. I'm in a spot where my AA friends have turned their backs on me and I lost my previous friends because I am not "fun" anymore. Ya...probably not the best of friends to begin with. So I am a bit lonely, but I am staying sober. Still always wanting a drink though!!!!
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Old 01-17-2018, 11:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I wanted to say hello and welcome to you. We understand well those feelings of shame and total despair. It is miserable but the longer you stay sober the better it gets. It sounds so trite, but it really is true. The shame does lessen with time, but only if you are making forward progress. Sending you much support.
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Old 01-18-2018, 12:04 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Thankyou so much for your support Meraviglioso. I agree, I just need to keep moving forward. Like I said earlier, I am so glad I have joined. It is nice to be able to get my feelings out and not be judged.
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Old 01-18-2018, 03:41 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Keep going it will all get better
Wishing you lots of luck and love
Carol
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