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Old 01-16-2018, 05:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Feel like Iím getting nowhere


Iím just over 4 months sober after over a decade of heavy drinking and drug abuse. Iím unemployed and have had to move back to small home town with my elderly father. I feel like I should be looking after him but Iím a mess. I have debts I have trouble staying on top of. I wake up every morning to panic attacks and suffer from severe depression and anxiety every day. Iíve been to AA and found it doesnít work for me. Iím seeing a doctor and am about to start new anti depressants next week as the old one did nothing. I have to wait until the old one is out of my system. Iím on a waiting list for counselling and a psychologist but itís 3 weeks for the first and two months for the second. I have to force myself to eat and trying to get some exercise by walking brings on agoraphobia. I feel like Iím trying everything but not getting anywhere. I keep hoping it will get better but I donít know how long I can bear feeling this way. I have suicidal ideation but couldnít go through with the deed. I tried at my rock bottom when drunk last year and it scared me.
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I am sorry you are going through this. If you are having suicidal ideation I would go an emergency room and check in. They are equipped to handle this and they will be able to stablize you . Don't wait... this is critical. Good luck
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:29 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thanks. Iíve thought about it. Iíve called a number of phone help lines this morning and they were some help. If it gets worse I will.
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Old 01-16-2018, 06:02 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi Guffman, you sound so sad and helpless. I'm sorry you feel trapped. I know that feeling well, and I know how much it can seem like there is no hope out there when you're depressed. I do think if you put your energy towards little steps, day by day it can get better. It sounds like you've done a few great things already, like getting yourself on the waiting list for counseling and trying antidepressants. It will take some time to get things in order, yes, but you've made a start and you're trying. I think you should be very proud of both of those things. Talking with people here should definitely help too
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Old 01-16-2018, 06:20 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Thank you. Thereís a mental health triage service that do house calls where I live. Theyíre coming over this evening. This site has been of great benefit to me, it helps just to know Iím not alone sometimes.
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Old 01-16-2018, 06:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
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You are definitely not alone.

I'm glad you are getting some help this evening. Hopefully, you will feel better after talking with the triage team.

Have faith that the antidepressant search will pay off. I had to try 3 before one worked and even then, the dosage needed adjusting, but it's worth it.
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Old 01-16-2018, 07:13 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome to the family. I hope the new meds help. Sometimes it takes some trial and error to find the right one.

Congrats on four months sober!
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Old 01-16-2018, 08:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Thanks to both of you. I definitely know the feeling of trial and error when it comes to anti depressant meds. This will be the fifth one Iíve tried over the course of many years.
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Old 01-16-2018, 08:34 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hi Guffman

Support really helped me with a lot of those kinds of things. AA is a good tool for a lot of people but of course it can't help with any other issue but alcoholism.

Not sure whereabouts in Oz you are, but I found that you sometimes have to make a bit of noise to get seen as a matter of urgency? Glad you have the mental health triage swinging by

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Old 01-16-2018, 08:47 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Congrats on four months and welcome. The forums are not a replacement for a hotline but you are taking the right steps and make sure you look for support in real life and online. Dont give up and keep us posted! Welcome, my friend!
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Old 01-16-2018, 09:10 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Iím in the ACT. Doctors and the mental health triage unit have told me they have a shortage of mental health workers here which is why there are such long wait times. Yeah, I know about kicking up a stink. Iíve had to do that before when presenting at a hospital. Lifeline gave me the same advice. I think thatís why the mental triage unit are coming over later, I didnít pull any punches with them when I spoke to them for a second time this morning. Thanks a lot for your replies, hopefully the visit will help.
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Old 01-16-2018, 11:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Hi Dee74,

AA helped to an extent, eventually though I found that there were too many elements of the steps and the big book that didn't sit very well with me. You're right too, it can only go so far. The mental health issues that I drank and drugged to avoid I now have to deal with sober, that's not really AA's role.
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Old 01-17-2018, 01:09 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Once again, thanks to you all for responding. It was hard to reach out like this. The triage team was very good and helpful, theyíre going to stay in touch.
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Old 01-17-2018, 10:03 AM   #14 (permalink)
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IMO you are heading in the right direction and can look forward to the new anti-depressants and counselling. The debts, unemployment, living with relative are not the big deal it is how you are feeling about life and yourself that will change with the help you will be getting and then all the externals will become more manageable. Stay sober and be a little patient, try and distract yourself by doing something/anything each day.
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Old 01-17-2018, 05:24 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Great to hear Guffman - Keep posting here too

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