Welcome back Tictoc - we're so glad to see you.
Sorry to hear you've been struggling. I think it'll really help you to be here where people understand. Plenty of encouragement and caring. I found that when I went back to it after a period of sobriety, it was so much worse . In the end, it was a relief to be rid of it - I realized I wasn't missing out on a thing. You can do it, Tictoc.
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle
A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.