Sudden realization that I am an alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 12
Sudden realization that I am an alcoholic
I never considered myself an alcoholic because I did not drink daily. I have a good job, a nice home, a good marriage (although a lot of men would not put up with my crap)
But I am definitely a binge drinker. I spent yesterday in bed all day nursing a really bad hangover and it hit me;I'm am alcoholic.
I've basically given up all my hobbies (I used to love to work out). Ive gained almost thirty pounds in two years, since my drinking has really picked up.
I work random days of the week. My very favorite thing to do is start drinking alone around 10:30 or 11, while my husband is at work and my kids are all at school. I'll easily drink 6 beers before my husband comes home at 3:30 . Then usually a handful more. Then I'll spend a day or two being sick and as soon as I'm feeling well ,basicaly do it all over. How many days have I taken from my family being so hungover I could not function? It's sad to think about it.
What normal person does this?!
But I am definitely a binge drinker. I spent yesterday in bed all day nursing a really bad hangover and it hit me;I'm am alcoholic.
I've basically given up all my hobbies (I used to love to work out). Ive gained almost thirty pounds in two years, since my drinking has really picked up.
I work random days of the week. My very favorite thing to do is start drinking alone around 10:30 or 11, while my husband is at work and my kids are all at school. I'll easily drink 6 beers before my husband comes home at 3:30 . Then usually a handful more. Then I'll spend a day or two being sick and as soon as I'm feeling well ,basicaly do it all over. How many days have I taken from my family being so hungover I could not function? It's sad to think about it.
What normal person does this?!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 245
Well, unfortunately, I think there is a loophole of literature and efforts for us binge drinkers. In the beginning, especially when I started going AA meetings I was extremely confused. I could hardly identify with the stories they said there and even so I still have trouble.
However, I did realize I had a drinking problem and that I had to quit (still do). Also, do realize that binge drinker is as bad as everyday drinking. Sometimes I drank so much and did stupid ****, that it took me around 3 months to become completely functional again (I'm not kidding).
I hope you can find a solution and stay strong!
However, I did realize I had a drinking problem and that I had to quit (still do). Also, do realize that binge drinker is as bad as everyday drinking. Sometimes I drank so much and did stupid ****, that it took me around 3 months to become completely functional again (I'm not kidding).
I hope you can find a solution and stay strong!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 12
Thank you. Ive looked into local AA meetings. I may try it. My estranged Dad was a serious, typical alcoholic, who now faithfully goes to AA meetings at least once a day. Maybe we are more alike than I thought. I never thought I was anything like him because I've always taken care of my children and held my life together.
I feel like alcohol disgusts me right now and almost like I've figured out my life's problems. This must be why I am so depressed lately and why I never feel good.
My mother is terminally ill now and has been very sick for a few years. That just so happens to coincide with when my drinking has really picked up.
Looking back I have had a problem since my teens. I was sent to the hospital with alcohol poisoning when I was 15. I used to black out and do crazy things. I always thought that was just because I was young and stupid.
I'm determined to stop this. But I honestly can't imagine life without alcohol. That's what me and my husband do to unwind.
What about holidays, vacations? I'm gonna need some help with this.
Thank you all for letting me open about this here.
I really need some support and guidance. I also think there is a small part of me that questions if I am really an alcoholic.
I feel like alcohol disgusts me right now and almost like I've figured out my life's problems. This must be why I am so depressed lately and why I never feel good.
My mother is terminally ill now and has been very sick for a few years. That just so happens to coincide with when my drinking has really picked up.
Looking back I have had a problem since my teens. I was sent to the hospital with alcohol poisoning when I was 15. I used to black out and do crazy things. I always thought that was just because I was young and stupid.
I'm determined to stop this. But I honestly can't imagine life without alcohol. That's what me and my husband do to unwind.
What about holidays, vacations? I'm gonna need some help with this.
Thank you all for letting me open about this here.
I really need some support and guidance. I also think there is a small part of me that questions if I am really an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Hi there and welcome to SR.
I think your story sounds very similar to mine. When I was younger (I'm 44 now) I was a binge drinker, sometimes blacking out, waking up not knowing I had been sick, panicking I might have lost my purse etc. I too didn't see it as a problem, it is just what young people do, right?
Fast forward to my early 40s and my problem had changed to daily drinking at home. With 2 young kids, going out was no longer an option, I had grown up is how I thought about it. But in the past 2 years I started to suffer from anxiety, my daily drinking was taking its toll. I was still functioning and making it to work but it was only going one way. My husband likes a drink too, it is what we did to unwind together. I couldn't imagine stopping, well I actually couldn't stop, it had got hold of me, tightly.
But I have done it, I finally quit at the end of September last year. I got through Christmas and New Year, it really was ok! I started by telling my GP how much I was drinking, who then referred me to an alcohol counsellor. I also did some group therapy for anxiety. If I can do it then so can you!
Have you done the first step of seeing a doctor?
Also sorry to read about your mum.
I think your story sounds very similar to mine. When I was younger (I'm 44 now) I was a binge drinker, sometimes blacking out, waking up not knowing I had been sick, panicking I might have lost my purse etc. I too didn't see it as a problem, it is just what young people do, right?
Fast forward to my early 40s and my problem had changed to daily drinking at home. With 2 young kids, going out was no longer an option, I had grown up is how I thought about it. But in the past 2 years I started to suffer from anxiety, my daily drinking was taking its toll. I was still functioning and making it to work but it was only going one way. My husband likes a drink too, it is what we did to unwind together. I couldn't imagine stopping, well I actually couldn't stop, it had got hold of me, tightly.
But I have done it, I finally quit at the end of September last year. I got through Christmas and New Year, it really was ok! I started by telling my GP how much I was drinking, who then referred me to an alcohol counsellor. I also did some group therapy for anxiety. If I can do it then so can you!
Have you done the first step of seeing a doctor?
Also sorry to read about your mum.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
Welcome to the club. None of us asked for this, bt here we are. Good news is there is hope. What do they say in the rooms? Don't focus on our differences in drinking patterns, look for similarities.
I come from a long line of alcoholics and assumed my drinking was never as bad as my ancestors. But it got worse.
I come from a long line of alcoholics and assumed my drinking was never as bad as my ancestors. But it got worse.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by JJ991 
Hi there and welcome to SR.
I think your story sounds very similar to mine. When I was younger (I'm 44 now) I was a binge drinker, sometimes blacking out, waking up not knowing I had been sick, panicking I might have lost my purse etc. I too didn't see it as a problem, it is just what young people do, right?
Fast forward to my early 40s and my problem had changed to daily drinking at home. With 2 young kids, going out was no longer an option, I had grown up is how I thought about it. But in the past 2 years I started to suffer from anxiety, my daily drinking was taking its toll. I was still functioning and making it to work but it was only going one way. My husband likes a drink too, it is what we did to unwind together. I couldn't imagine stopping, well I actually couldn't stop, it had got hold of me, tightly.
But I have done it, I finally quit at the end of September last year. I got through Christmas and New Year, it really was ok! I started by telling my GP how much I was drinking, who then referred me to an alcohol counsellor. I also did some group therapy for anxiety. If I can do it then so can you!
Have you done the first step of seeing a doctor?
Also sorry to read about your mum.
I think your story sounds very similar to mine. When I was younger (I'm 44 now) I was a binge drinker, sometimes blacking out, waking up not knowing I had been sick, panicking I might have lost my purse etc. I too didn't see it as a problem, it is just what young people do, right?
Fast forward to my early 40s and my problem had changed to daily drinking at home. With 2 young kids, going out was no longer an option, I had grown up is how I thought about it. But in the past 2 years I started to suffer from anxiety, my daily drinking was taking its toll. I was still functioning and making it to work but it was only going one way. My husband likes a drink too, it is what we did to unwind together. I couldn't imagine stopping, well I actually couldn't stop, it had got hold of me, tightly.
But I have done it, I finally quit at the end of September last year. I got through Christmas and New Year, it really was ok! I started by telling my GP how much I was drinking, who then referred me to an alcohol counsellor. I also did some group therapy for anxiety. If I can do it then so can you!
Have you done the first step of seeing a doctor?
Also sorry to read about your mum.
Wow, how could I not realize this was a problem before now?! Thank you for your reply. It really helps to know that I am not over reacting here.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
Hi, I am also new here, and I relate to your story very much! It's hard to realize the pain you are causing people around you. When I wasn't working for a couple of years, I would do as you do: drink to pass time, then drink when my husband got home from work. I also felt, "what normal person does this?!" For a long time, actually, I've been waking up with the thought "What is wrong with you?!" because of my drinking and because of the never-ending self-loathing feelings. I wish you all the good luck kicking this habit.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Peaches6138
Thank you. Ive looked into local AA meetings. I may try it. My estranged Dad was a serious, typical alcoholic, who now faithfully goes to AA meetings at least once a day. Maybe we are more alike than I thought. I never thought I was anything like him because I've always taken care of my children and held my life together.
I feel like alcohol disgusts me right now and almost like I've figured out my life's problems. This must be why I am so depressed lately and why I never feel good.
My mother is terminally ill now and has been very sick for a few years. That just so happens to coincide with when my drinking has really picked up.
Looking back I have had a problem since my teens. I was sent to the hospital with alcohol poisoning when I was 15. I used to black out and do crazy things. I always thought that was just because I was young and stupid.
I'm determined to stop this. But I honestly can't imagine life without alcohol. That's what me and my husband do to unwind.
What about holidays, vacations? I'm gonna need some help with this.
Thank you all for letting me open about this here.
I really need some support and guidance. I also think there is a small part of me that questions if I am really an alcoholic.
I feel like alcohol disgusts me right now and almost like I've figured out my life's problems. This must be why I am so depressed lately and why I never feel good.
My mother is terminally ill now and has been very sick for a few years. That just so happens to coincide with when my drinking has really picked up.
Looking back I have had a problem since my teens. I was sent to the hospital with alcohol poisoning when I was 15. I used to black out and do crazy things. I always thought that was just because I was young and stupid.
I'm determined to stop this. But I honestly can't imagine life without alcohol. That's what me and my husband do to unwind.
What about holidays, vacations? I'm gonna need some help with this.
Thank you all for letting me open about this here.
I really need some support and guidance. I also think there is a small part of me that questions if I am really an alcoholic.
BB
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Originally Posted by Peaches6138
Looking back I have had a problem since my teens. I was sent to the hospital with alcohol poisoning when I was 15. I used to black out and do crazy things. I always thought that was just because I was young and stupid.
"I walked away from cocaine" meant I wasn't a REAL addict/alcoholic.
It didn't.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Peaches,
I think it’s great that you are doing this. One doesn’t have to drink daily to be an alcoholic: I was a binge drinker, too, ‘only’ drinking twice, sometimes three times a week, but my health problems got worse and worse and the blackouts started to increase, so it was time to pull the plug.
What’s even worse is that binge drinking with its sober/drunk cycle seems to exacerbate withdrawal syndroms over time - read up on kindling on this site, if you haven’t already done so. Again, congrats for deciding to get in front of this!
I think it’s great that you are doing this. One doesn’t have to drink daily to be an alcoholic: I was a binge drinker, too, ‘only’ drinking twice, sometimes three times a week, but my health problems got worse and worse and the blackouts started to increase, so it was time to pull the plug.
What’s even worse is that binge drinking with its sober/drunk cycle seems to exacerbate withdrawal syndroms over time - read up on kindling on this site, if you haven’t already done so. Again, congrats for deciding to get in front of this!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
After time passes, it will be hard to imagine drinking being relaxing or a good way to unwind. I felt exactly like you do, and my brain has changed.
Just gotta take that leap of faith and say every morning that “today, no matter what happens, I will not drink.”
Just gotta take that leap of faith and say every morning that “today, no matter what happens, I will not drink.”
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,775
It doesn't matter what you drink, or when, or how much. If alcohol is causing problems, it's best to stop. I've been sober 8 yrs now and never once have I woken up sober and wished I had drank the night before. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by madgirl
After time passes, it will be hard to imagine drinking being relaxing or a good way to unwind. I felt exactly like you do, and my brain has changed.
Just gotta take that leap of faith and say every morning that “today, no matter what happens, I will not drink.”
Just gotta take that leap of faith and say every morning that “today, no matter what happens, I will not drink.”
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Mac4711
Peaches,
I think it’s great that you are doing this. One doesn’t have to drink daily to be an alcoholic: I was a binge drinker, too, ‘only’ drinking twice, sometimes three times a week, but my health problems got worse and worse and the blackouts started to increase, so it was time to pull the plug.
What’s even worse is that binge drinking with its sober/drunk cycle seems to exacerbate withdrawal syndroms over time - read up on kindling on this site, if you haven’t already done so. Again, congrats for deciding to get in front of this!
I think it’s great that you are doing this. One doesn’t have to drink daily to be an alcoholic: I was a binge drinker, too, ‘only’ drinking twice, sometimes three times a week, but my health problems got worse and worse and the blackouts started to increase, so it was time to pull the plug.
What’s even worse is that binge drinking with its sober/drunk cycle seems to exacerbate withdrawal syndroms over time - read up on kindling on this site, if you haven’t already done so. Again, congrats for deciding to get in front of this!
I have been reading here off and on all day . Thak you to everyone that has welcomed and supported me.
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