Readygo

Just curious but I hear so often of someone relapsing one day after weeks or months or even years after being sober. Does that one day really send you back both mentally and physically to day one again?

PeacefulWater12

I was in that cycle for some time. I would get a few weeks, then drink. For a couple days or maybe just the one day.

I found the more I did this, the worse it was. It became soul destroying.

At the time I was educating myself on alcohol and recovery. I found the more I knew about it. The less I "enjoyed" the drink. As I wasn't in the cloud of denial so I painfully and gut wrenchingly knew exactly what I was doing as I made the decision to pick up again.

The hangovers also got far worse.

Then one day I stopped and have not returned to drinking.

It is easier to be quit than on the on off cycle in my experience.

b0glerd69

I don't think it does, depending on how long you have been clean. If someone has been clean for months or years then they have proven to themselves that they can function without alcohol. Therefore, the slip up becomes more about how to prevent that trigger from re-occurring after many months of sobriety. I think the danger is that maybe the individual can't come off alcohol again, after a slip-up. It's a difficult question to answer as we are all so different - mentally and physically.

Dee74

It's probably best I just share my experience.

After 2 months sober, I decided to drink for one night at a reunion.

I didn't stop again for 2 and a half years - and that was some of the hardest most destructive drinking I ever did.

Will that happen to everyone? probably not - but there's not one of us here who can say for sure what might happen if we take another drink because we just don't know.

My whole deal was I lose control when I drink.
I'm over taking that risk,

Never underestimate this thing, or over estimate your capacity for survival.

D

b0glerd69

Wise words, Dee. Thanks for your insight.

DangerZone

I had almost 10-years clean then like an idiot I drank once at a party. Fast forward 3-years later I've drank for almost 2-years straight, developed a drug habit and have been struggling to quit alcohol/drugs the last 4-months...

I learned a valuable lesson. Don't ever underestimate how powerful alcohol and drugs are. They want everything you have and all it takes is one day of drinking for your life to spiral out of control.

I had a lot of close calls as far as life/death situations when I was drunk/high these past few years. I got very lucky but you may not be as lucky and I know plenty of people who weren't. It is only by the grace of God I am able to post here today.

So remember going back to Day-1 could cost you your life. My advice - don't make the same mistake I did.. It is so not worth it.

Vinificent

I also don't believe one slip is the same as a full blown relapse. I had 18 months of slips before I could get more than 30 days of abstinence under my belt. Every slip made me realize why drinking is not a good thing for me to do and I am better off just not doing it at all.

ChloeRose63

I found that the withdrawls get worse! That is extremely scary.

August252015

Like Dee - and I concur with the things he said, except that I haven't had a relapse- I simply cannot take the "what if" risk.

I wouldn't spontaneously combust if I had a drink. However, I WOULD die. It would be fast and furious- that I know.

Someone said it perfectly in a meeting one day, describing what I believe would be the case for me, as I work a very hard AA program and am almost 23 mo sober: "Perhaps the reason people warn us we go harder and faster if we drink again is because those of us with some recovery under us, and the knowledge and experience of that life with its promises come true and its peace and completely different reality than our drinking lives, are distraught when we start up again. The tragic nature of our decision to throw something we personally experienced away can just be ... overwhelming and makes us perfectly susceptible to going with the anxiety because of the very nature of our disease." I elaborated a little on what was said because that's the stuff I filled in for myself, and it makes perfect sense to me.

As many in AA say - it may not be the only way, but it's working for me. Why would I throw my life away? only because I am an alcoholic and if I don't keep up the effort to live my best life in recovery, I DO know I would be quitting something that has brought me a life I never imagined when drinking.

Good enough for me.

tomsteve

i havent gone back to drinking. i know for a fact if i do that ill be dam fortunate if i get 1 day again.. i know for a fact EVERYTHING will get worse.
i know for a fact if i dwell on the what ifs ill want to try it.

you wanting to rationalize a drink or just curious?

TYG2

How ironic...

GO TO YOUR DR. WE'RE NOT MEDICALLY TRAINED. In the meantime:


https://allpoetry.com/Desidera

FreeOwl

My experience of drinking after five months of sobriety was;

Had a few drinks, nothing bad happened. Didn’t get horribly drunk. Had fun.

So that gave me ‘evidence’ I was fine....

So I went back to drinking.

For almost two years of progressively worse drinking that wound up leading to a fifth of vodka a day and blackouts several times a week.....

It didn’t happen all at once because of one drink, but one drink opened the door and thjngs got bad quickly.

Eaglelizard

It seems like every time I tried to control drinking, either by cutting back on volumes or going dry for days/weeks, the return to drinking resulted in even higher volumes of consumption and worse decisions than before. Perhaps some sort of built-in self destruct function. Bad thing always happened. Only took that happening about 100 times or so for the lesson to sink in .

tomls

I found that if I had quit drinking for a couple of weeks or so I would have a big black out after drinking my usual amount.

silentrun

Thank you for that. I needed to hear some reality of the situation. I'm coming up on 5 years and lately I've been having dreams that I am having a few and it's fine. That can't happen!

I've heard it gets a lot worse if you pick up again.

Nonsensical

You can read about it several times a day right here on SR from the lucky ones who make it back alive.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ing-again.html (Trying this sobriety thing, again)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...st-breath.html (My journey of sobriety BEGINS (never give up until your last breath))

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...in-scared.html (Back again and scared.)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (Relapsed Hard | Depression and Cravings)

Readygo

I think I was trying to rationalize but I know I can’t go back, so then I started to get curious. I think knowledge can be a powerful way to scare the sh*t out of doing anything that can be bad for you 😉

Readygo

Thanks everyone! I need to keep these all in mind. The brain and addiction are a powerful in the arena of making you think you’ll be okay. I was trying to think maybe just one day, but I know if I did that I could send myself in the cycle of self loathing on my failure and probably drink more to forget 😩

MyLittleHorsie

My experience from the first time I quit smoking, I had 8 months quit and would have one here or there with my one client. Then I didn't want to be a bum so I bought a pack. I started smoking and got hugely depressed because I was so happy as a non smoker. It took me 6 months to quit again. I have relapsed and quit a half dozen times in 3 years. So for me, not one (insert puff or drink) ever is the only way to live. I know what I have to do, know I need to recognize my AVRT and plan what to do when it calls. I like Allen Carr methodology.

LateBloominCait

I tried to have a drink as a "one time" thing. I picked up some wine and didn't stop for 3 years.