skunkape

Well I did it, I survived a holiday that has historically(for me at least) been a nightmare as far as drug abuse. I feel great about it too. There's nothing that could have made me pick up this weekend. So what if I stayed home, so what if I didn't go out and raise cain. I'm through with being self-destructive. I knew it was going to be difficult and I've been dreading it since I started recovery earlier last month. I'm starting to actually realize that I mean it this time, that I have put my sobriety before everything, every place, and everyone. My sobriety will be bought for a price like anything else, and it's going to take my blood, sweat, tears, unflinching determination, and spiritual fortitude to obtain. This is one small battle in a war, but for me it means a lot. It has given me a spark of hope and that is something more valuable to me than all the money in the world.

I'll be able to look back on this as a turning point of sorts. I crossed the bridge and found my footing on the other side of the chasm as shaky as it may be. I know this is just the unbridled confidence of early sobriety(which could be a danger) as I'm well aware of, but I'd love to hear about other inspiring moments from some of you guys, when you just knew that you could do it this time, finding hope after so many years of having none.

It was truly a Happy Halloween.

Chris

OVERIT

Chris!

Congrats! You rock! Keep on keepin' on!

Love,

Ang

Moontime

Congrats! It happened for me, the man who eventually became my sponsor's son had just been locked up for 32 years in jail (drug, attempted-murder related), his wife and him were on the verge of divorce. He will never see his son again out of jail. He came to the meetings and just shared and cried and shared and cried and shared and cried. He continued to sponsor men, do H & I commitments w/ 16 years clean, hold Regional Service positions, and come to meetings and shared. I said wow, here's a guy who's got 16 years clean, that no matter what life throws at him, he still does his recovery routine despite how he's feeling. At that point my HP, God, revealed to me that the recovery process was a possiblity even for me. I guess goose-bumps just thinking about this. This was my first awakening. My second awakening was when I understood that no matter what drug you used, we all suffer from the same disease of addiction. See, I was the guy, not unique by the way, who seperated myself from the rest of you addicts, right off the get go because I was DIFFERENT. I thought I was just a crack monster. But, learned that the disease was playing me, that the disease wants me to seperate myself from addicts for a moment, then that moment turns into a minute, then an hour, then months, then I won't be alive being so different. Third spirtual awakening, when I finally understood that disease of addiction was apprent in my life long before I picked up that first drug. I don't suffer from drug addiction, I suffer from the disease of addiction, which attacks me spirtualy. That I never felt comfortable with myself on any given level, that I had to take anything from the outside to make me feel good on the inside (ie...clothes, sex, gambling, flirting, sports,drugs, insert compulsion/obsession here) I couldn't get enough of what was changing my feelings so I had take everything in excess. Drugs were just the most obvious symptoms of the disease of addiction, it just happened to get me to a place called Narcotics Anonymous.

Frost

Congratulations skunkape - Your words are very inspiring and you're doing great! Keep it up!

Moontime - Except that you're in Virgina and I'm in New York, the man you describe sounds almost identical to a man we have up here. He truly is a power of example.





'Let it be.'



Stepping Through Life...

Connie

Hey Chris,

Boy, can I relate. My first sober Halloween in I can't remember how long. I too am in the early stages of sobriety, and try to keep my "unbridled confidence" in check, but its not easy. Hearing stories in AA from people who've had years and years of sobriety, and then left the rooms, helps quite a bit, and gives me some healthy fear, also.

Living sober for this short time has brought me limitless energy, peace and happiness. Because of this, I cherish my sobriety and will do anything to protect it. I think about the drinking days of not so long ago, and how selfish and miserable I was, and thank my God for this chance at a new life. I thank my God especially for something I heard my son say to me on October 3, 2004, "Mom, call me tomorrow when you're sober." It cut like a knife, and hurt like nothing I could ever remember, but was exactly the kick in the butt that I needed. He called the next day and apologized, and I begged him not to. I thanked him then, and am still thanking him now.

So, I hear where you're coming from Chris, stay positive; I know I intend to.

Sherry Lassie

Chris,

Congratulations on your sober Halloween! I also got through a very busy Halloween weekend without breaking my resolve; even going out of state to a big Halloween costume party. So today, back at work, I am starting Day 15 - starting my 3rd week with my plan. Because of staying with my plan, I didn't consume 10 tons of food and candy all weekend, which I would have done if I had broken my plan. Getting home yesterday made me think that in the past I would have indulged in my DOC as a way to relax after the flight. This morning I was glad to see your post on a positive Halloween. Chris, let's now think ahead to how good we will feel if we make it through Thanksgiving holiday.

Sherry Lassie