Everyone is against a geographic and I don't understand why. HELP
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 131
If i knew you and you asked my help i would say to write down a concrete plan for recovery for LA and show me, if it was concrete including sensible exit options if the sh*t hit the fan then i would say go for it. I reckon it is a great idea to connect with NA/AA there and share that you have just moved there, get some numbers and make contact; hopefully as the weather sounds great people there go for coffees rather than run home cos the nights get dark or weather gets bad, this will definitely help. Whatever you decide best wishes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 60
Thank you. I am only on day 2 of recovery so I think it is important to think this out a bit more.
Originally Posted by EliL 
If i knew you and you asked my help i would say to write down a concrete plan for recovery for LA and show me, if it was concrete including sensible exit options if the sh*t hit the fan then i would say go for it. I reckon it is a great idea to connect with NA/AA there and share that you have just moved there, get some numbers and make contact; hopefully as the weather sounds great people there go for coffees rather than run home cos the nights get dark or weather gets bad, this will definitely help. Whatever you decide best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
right - from a distance and from memory Cali sounds like nirvana....but didn't you say when you did move there last time you ended up using?
right now you have a couple days clean.....which means you have the opportunity to get your recovery underway NOW. NYC has one of the highest concentrations of AA/12 step meetings for any large city. this is a crazy long list of meetings just for SATURDAY - as late as midnight and 2 am.
https://www.nyintergroup.org/meetings/
people can and do get sober anywhere. most successful sober persons found they had to change people places and things that they associated with drinking/using.
why not get some time under your belt first? sober time. then think about your today and your tomorrow. what you want. what you want to do. what it would take to make that happen. develop a plan. and then begin to execute that plan, in an orderly well thought out manner.
right now you have a couple days clean.....which means you have the opportunity to get your recovery underway NOW. NYC has one of the highest concentrations of AA/12 step meetings for any large city. this is a crazy long list of meetings just for SATURDAY - as late as midnight and 2 am.
https://www.nyintergroup.org/meetings/
people can and do get sober anywhere. most successful sober persons found they had to change people places and things that they associated with drinking/using.
why not get some time under your belt first? sober time. then think about your today and your tomorrow. what you want. what you want to do. what it would take to make that happen. develop a plan. and then begin to execute that plan, in an orderly well thought out manner.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
There are temptations in both places. If you are pursuing a career in acting and film, trust me you will meet a lot of people who are in recovery. Or desperately need to be.
I have a friend that lived in NYC for a time and left because he ended up doing a lot of cocaine and could not stop. When he moved to LA he became an alcoholic. He's now in recovery and doing well in LA, after being through a good outpatient program.
Triggers abound everywhere. Living in an isolated rural environment also has its dangers.
They have graduate programs in Los Angeles, as well as flights to the East Coast multiple times a day.
Follow your gut. Both are viable options.
A counselor is a good resource, but it might not be enough for you. I found using multiple tools was the most effective for my sobriety.
I have a friend that lived in NYC for a time and left because he ended up doing a lot of cocaine and could not stop. When he moved to LA he became an alcoholic. He's now in recovery and doing well in LA, after being through a good outpatient program.
Triggers abound everywhere. Living in an isolated rural environment also has its dangers.
They have graduate programs in Los Angeles, as well as flights to the East Coast multiple times a day.
Follow your gut. Both are viable options.
A counselor is a good resource, but it might not be enough for you. I found using multiple tools was the most effective for my sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 60
Thanks MindfulMan. Even if I don't get a full time career in film/television just being near the place where it all takes place is exciting. And you are right both places have their good and bad. Since I am only on Day 2 I definitely want to give things a bit more time so I can think clearly and make a decision.
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
There are temptations in both places. If you are pursuing a career in acting and film, trust me you will meet a lot of people who are in recovery. Or desperately need to be.
I have a friend that lived in NYC for a time and left because he ended up doing a lot of cocaine and could not stop. When he moved to LA he became an alcoholic. He's now in recovery and doing well in LA, after being through a good outpatient program.
Triggers abound everywhere. Living in an isolated rural environment also has its dangers.
They have graduate programs in Los Angeles, as well as flights to the East Coast multiple times a day.
Follow your gut. Both are viable options.
A counselor is a good resource, but it might not be enough for you. I found using multiple tools was the most effective for my sobriety.
I have a friend that lived in NYC for a time and left because he ended up doing a lot of cocaine and could not stop. When he moved to LA he became an alcoholic. He's now in recovery and doing well in LA, after being through a good outpatient program.
Triggers abound everywhere. Living in an isolated rural environment also has its dangers.
They have graduate programs in Los Angeles, as well as flights to the East Coast multiple times a day.
Follow your gut. Both are viable options.
A counselor is a good resource, but it might not be enough for you. I found using multiple tools was the most effective for my sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 60
On Sunday, I ended up using again via IV use... something I had not done in two years. Clearly, things are NOT getting better. I need serious help. And I don’t know any good rehabs out here in NY so CA is my best bet.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Rehab is rehab as far as I'm concerned( I know there's jail like places and spa like). I've never been myself,but do have an exw who got addicted to rehab. She wanted the lavish,expensive rehab on her father's dime(after I divorced and she's still using 18+yrs). You need to really seek treatment where you are,with the support you have. The *thing* in your head will follow you and you can not run from it. I think I have a thread on here about selling off all my stuff and moving to CA actually..
Edit: At 4mo sober I was moving "abroad"...https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...irst-year.html ("No big decisions in the first year"..)
I'm now expanded in the same city. It's not where you are, it's how you are where you're at. I understand sometimes a move is needed..Just be sure you're making it with the right motive(huge in sobriety!).
Edit: At 4mo sober I was moving "abroad"...https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...irst-year.html ("No big decisions in the first year"..)
I'm now expanded in the same city. It's not where you are, it's how you are where you're at. I understand sometimes a move is needed..Just be sure you're making it with the right motive(huge in sobriety!).
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hey Mister M
I think all the caution here is about expecting the move to make a difference simply by itself.
I moved a lot in 20 years but my problems and my addiction came with me cos I wasn't doing anything about them.
If you're moving to get out of a bad atmosphere and you're prepared to build a new improved recovery and social support network where you're going thats may be a different matter - but I reckon it will be just as easy to get high in LA as it is in NYC - unless you have a plan.
Sounds like the stakes are pretty high and getting higher.
Any ideas on what you're going to do to turn things around?
D
I think all the caution here is about expecting the move to make a difference simply by itself.
I moved a lot in 20 years but my problems and my addiction came with me cos I wasn't doing anything about them.
If you're moving to get out of a bad atmosphere and you're prepared to build a new improved recovery and social support network where you're going thats may be a different matter - but I reckon it will be just as easy to get high in LA as it is in NYC - unless you have a plan.
Sounds like the stakes are pretty high and getting higher.
Any ideas on what you're going to do to turn things around?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 60
Well I’m not just moving to LA I will be entering an intensive 6 month recovery program....upon completing the 6 mo program I will be residing in a sober living facility that is affiliated with the program...
I plan to connect with people via AA and the recovery program
I am currently on the waitlist. I have to call in every day to check in the waitlist is about a month wait but sometimes quicker..
I plan to connect with people via AA and the recovery program
I am currently on the waitlist. I have to call in every day to check in the waitlist is about a month wait but sometimes quicker..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 625
I'm glad you have a plan! I have lived in California for most of my life. It's a fine place to be...but not miraculous. LA is huge, sprawling and filled with more regular, everyday working people than those in the entertainment industry. It can be really lonely without a car tho. Your grad school opportunity sounds enticing, but good health seems more urgent. Would your mom make the move with you? We do have great weather here ( aside from recent firestorms and mudslides :-o)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 60
My mom would not make the move with me. And yes I know not having a car will be a major hurdle for me but every plan has its drawbacks...can you give me some tips on how to get around without a car?
Yes grad school in NY is still an option but overall my mental health and sobriety overrides everything. Plus, my relationships in nyc have been destroyed..my exes have gotten married.. my friends have moved...it only seems fitting for a new beginning.
Yes grad school in NY is still an option but overall my mental health and sobriety overrides everything. Plus, my relationships in nyc have been destroyed..my exes have gotten married.. my friends have moved...it only seems fitting for a new beginning.
Originally Posted by JK130
I'm glad you have a plan! I have lived in California for most of my life. It's a fine place to be...but not miraculous. LA is huge, sprawling and filled with more regular, everyday working people than those in the entertainment industry. It can be really lonely without a car tho. Your grad school opportunity sounds enticing, but good health seems more urgent. Would your mom make the move with you? We do have great weather here ( aside from recent firestorms and mudslides :-o)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by MisterM
My mom would not make the move with me. And yes I know not having a car will be a major hurdle for me but every plan has its drawbacks...can you give me some tips on how to get around without a car?
Yes grad school in NY is still an option but overall my mental health and sobriety overrides everything. Plus, my relationships in nyc have been destroyed..my exes have gotten married.. my friends have moved...it only seems fitting for a new beginning.
Yes grad school in NY is still an option but overall my mental health and sobriety overrides everything. Plus, my relationships in nyc have been destroyed..my exes have gotten married.. my friends have moved...it only seems fitting for a new beginning.
Last edited by Dee74; 01-19-2018 at 04:55 PM.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 60
Appreciate your honesty. So how do I *fix*it? And I’m willing to do the work I just need some guidance by work do you mean the steps of AA.? Def understand where you’re coming from.
Originally Posted by DontRemember
Again,man.. ****...your ****will follow you. I'm not trying to be harsh at all,but as of now,you are who you are. No matter where you go,you can not run from this...it will follow you,IF you don't *fix* it. I could sell my stuff and live alone on an island..and there *I* am. There's NO quick fix for sobriety,bro...it's work! Ex's married..OK? Not your concern. friends moved? OK..cool.. This is about you,man. Again..not trying to be harsh.
Last edited by Dee74; 01-19-2018 at 04:55 PM.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
I can't solve next Tuesday's problems on Friday - I have to focus on what's in front of me now. While I debated on what I should do over time, I decided to not drink and go to meetings regardless of where I was > I grew where planted, where my higher power had placed me at any given time.
You can lay a great foundation now, today right where you are - likely less than a few miles from where you live. It's an inside job with outside help
You can lay a great foundation now, today right where you are - likely less than a few miles from where you live. It's an inside job with outside help
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 175
You didn't mention who runs this rehab/sober living center. Is it a state run, free of charge or non profit type place? If so, it aint gunna be pleasant.
I couldn't imagine living in L.A. without a car, yes there is public transportation but nothing like the subways of NYC.
What city is this rehab in?
What happens when you leave re-hab? Shabby 1 bedroom apartments in the ghetto will run you over 1200.00, the streets of L.A. , Hollywood, West Hollywod and the San Fernando Valley are littered with drugs, crime and homelessness, Jobs are scarce...blah, blah, blah.
IMO this is the last place I would want to "try" and get sober in, especially since home is 3,000 miles away.
I don't mean to sound like a negative nelly but IMO, I don't think it would be a wise choice
I couldn't imagine living in L.A. without a car, yes there is public transportation but nothing like the subways of NYC.
What city is this rehab in?
What happens when you leave re-hab? Shabby 1 bedroom apartments in the ghetto will run you over 1200.00, the streets of L.A. , Hollywood, West Hollywod and the San Fernando Valley are littered with drugs, crime and homelessness, Jobs are scarce...blah, blah, blah.
IMO this is the last place I would want to "try" and get sober in, especially since home is 3,000 miles away.
I don't mean to sound like a negative nelly but IMO, I don't think it would be a wise choice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 60
Yes it’s a non profit program it’s very structured and not a place for those that aren’t serious about their recovery..residents are kept busy from sunrise to night. However, driving not my thing and don’t see myself purchasing a car anytime soon. So, that is a huge drawback especially if I want to settle there long term...the rehab is near Hollywood area in LA but you guys are def making me see that this may be a bad idea.
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Originally Posted by JScatt
You didn't mention who runs this rehab/sober living center. Is it a state run, free of charge or non profit type place? If so, it aint gunna be pleasant.
I couldn't imagine living in L.A. without a car, yes there is public transportation but nothing like the subways of NYC.
What city is this rehab in?
What happens when you leave re-hab? Shabby 1 bedroom apartments in the ghetto will run you over 1200.00, the streets of L.A. , Hollywood, West Hollywod and the San Fernando Valley are littered with drugs, crime and homelessness, Jobs are scarce...blah, blah, blah.
IMO this is the last place I would want to "try" and get sober in, especially since home is 3,000 miles away.
I don't mean to sound like a negative nelly but IMO, I don't think it would be a wise choice
I couldn't imagine living in L.A. without a car, yes there is public transportation but nothing like the subways of NYC.
What city is this rehab in?
What happens when you leave re-hab? Shabby 1 bedroom apartments in the ghetto will run you over 1200.00, the streets of L.A. , Hollywood, West Hollywod and the San Fernando Valley are littered with drugs, crime and homelessness, Jobs are scarce...blah, blah, blah.
IMO this is the last place I would want to "try" and get sober in, especially since home is 3,000 miles away.
I don't mean to sound like a negative nelly but IMO, I don't think it would be a wise choice
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