Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Morning all,
I watch this thread with interest having directed one or two of you here at the beginning of the year. It's good to see some of you doing so well (including that adulterer from our December 2017 class ChickChick that is double dipping!!!!!!)
Seriously though - just a message of support to everyone - especially those that are struggling.
I have relapsed hundreds of times of the last decade in particular. I have NEVER gone one month sober until now. I'm currently on day 43 and I can tell you with assurity - if I can do it then anyone can.
Keep posting, sharing, and working your recovery for a better life (of which not drinking is only part of it and not ALL of it - albeit the most important part). Think of all the things that you CAN do that if you were drinking you couldn't and all of a sudden sobriety feels less of a denial and/or punishment.
Regards,
JT (Dec 2017 class)
I watch this thread with interest having directed one or two of you here at the beginning of the year. It's good to see some of you doing so well (including that adulterer from our December 2017 class ChickChick that is double dipping!!!!!!)
Seriously though - just a message of support to everyone - especially those that are struggling.
I have relapsed hundreds of times of the last decade in particular. I have NEVER gone one month sober until now. I'm currently on day 43 and I can tell you with assurity - if I can do it then anyone can.
Keep posting, sharing, and working your recovery for a better life (of which not drinking is only part of it and not ALL of it - albeit the most important part). Think of all the things that you CAN do that if you were drinking you couldn't and all of a sudden sobriety feels less of a denial and/or punishment.
Regards,
JT (Dec 2017 class)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 23
Hi folks
Sunday Day nr.6 and the first saturday was kinda easy. Last friday i started juice fasting. Now i'm totally focussing on that, and thinking about staying sober is not 'top of mind' anymore. Makes it a lot easier. I feel like i'm realy on the right track this time.
Sunday Day nr.6 and the first saturday was kinda easy. Last friday i started juice fasting. Now i'm totally focussing on that, and thinking about staying sober is not 'top of mind' anymore. Makes it a lot easier. I feel like i'm realy on the right track this time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 192
Thanķ you Dee and Fiona7224!
Alcohol Withdrawal is more complicated than I thought. Getting to 19 days was huge. BUT the insomnia prevented me from "push play". The button that plays my history.
Nothing more , nothing less. Withdrawal symptoms can get you out of the blue. Be aware. Not sleeping...BAD.
I'm stronger than this excuse. Nothing impacts my suffering more than hearing the language of the heart from another alcoholic in recovery!!!! I have a ton of knowledge, ç
Alcohol Withdrawal is more complicated than I thought. Getting to 19 days was huge. BUT the insomnia prevented me from "push play". The button that plays my history.
Nothing more , nothing less. Withdrawal symptoms can get you out of the blue. Be aware. Not sleeping...BAD.
I'm stronger than this excuse. Nothing impacts my suffering more than hearing the language of the heart from another alcoholic in recovery!!!! I have a ton of knowledge, ç
Welsh member.
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Ireland
Posts: 328
Good morning friends.
TYG. I'm sorry that you drank again. I recall you posting that you found bonecracker's post so compelling, you were going to post it on your fridge. Did you do that? Then, you'd see this:
"There are no triggers. By labelling circumstances or people or days as triggers one sets up his own neurotransmitter emotional connectors to the Matrix......locked into a software program set up in the operating system of the mind and hooked up to the mainframe of the Matrix. One set's up the emotional Frame and so it goes.
There are no triggers, only circumstances. And circumstances are indifferent.
What one can least afford is an emotional outburst. An emotional reaction to a person or a circumstance will buy into the "frame" that's been set up and the carnival will commence."
I'll bet you didn't post the note on your fridge. Your beast brain would be horrified if you actually took some action. Like me your beast/alcoholic brain knows exactly how to press our buttons to get us to continue feeding it it's precious poison:
You're stressed so you'll drink;
You're angry so you'll drink;
You're suffering from insomnia so you'll drink;
Poor me, poor me pour me a drink.
All of this is beast beast brain thinking.
Do the "sobriety time work" TYG, take action. Don't let that beast brain mess up your life a day longer.
I've no plans for the day, but it's a nice day,, so think my GSD deserves a long walk in the mountains. Must get out my hiking boots.
Chick chick, I'm appalled. I thought you were true to us you jezebel. :Crying:
TYG. I'm sorry that you drank again. I recall you posting that you found bonecracker's post so compelling, you were going to post it on your fridge. Did you do that? Then, you'd see this:
"There are no triggers. By labelling circumstances or people or days as triggers one sets up his own neurotransmitter emotional connectors to the Matrix......locked into a software program set up in the operating system of the mind and hooked up to the mainframe of the Matrix. One set's up the emotional Frame and so it goes.
There are no triggers, only circumstances. And circumstances are indifferent.
What one can least afford is an emotional outburst. An emotional reaction to a person or a circumstance will buy into the "frame" that's been set up and the carnival will commence."
I'll bet you didn't post the note on your fridge. Your beast brain would be horrified if you actually took some action. Like me your beast/alcoholic brain knows exactly how to press our buttons to get us to continue feeding it it's precious poison:
You're stressed so you'll drink;
You're angry so you'll drink;
You're suffering from insomnia so you'll drink;
Poor me, poor me pour me a drink.
All of this is beast beast brain thinking.
Do the "sobriety time work" TYG, take action. Don't let that beast brain mess up your life a day longer.
I've no plans for the day, but it's a nice day,, so think my GSD deserves a long walk in the mountains. Must get out my hiking boots.
Chick chick, I'm appalled. I thought you were true to us you jezebel. :Crying:
Welsh member.
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Ireland
Posts: 328
Time for total disclosure.
Like chick chick, I too am having torrid affair on another forum. Sorry classmates.
One of the many learnings I have embraced from there has led me to set my confidence in success arbitrarily at 100%, and assign all doubt and fear of "slipping" or "relapse" my beast/alcoholic brain thinking.
If I come across as being harsh sometimes, it's because I'm addressing the poster's beast brain, and not the person that longs to be sober.
Like chick chick, I too am having torrid affair on another forum. Sorry classmates.
One of the many learnings I have embraced from there has led me to set my confidence in success arbitrarily at 100%, and assign all doubt and fear of "slipping" or "relapse" my beast/alcoholic brain thinking.
If I come across as being harsh sometimes, it's because I'm addressing the poster's beast brain, and not the person that longs to be sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ny
Posts: 739
Good morning everyone,
Quiet morning and some time before my family wakes up.
Thanks for posting just tony..nice to see you.
Stick with us TYG...we need you here...a bump in the road.
Have a great day everyone xo
Quiet morning and some time before my family wakes up.
Thanks for posting just tony..nice to see you.
Stick with us TYG...we need you here...a bump in the road.
Have a great day everyone xo
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Originally Posted by TYG2 
OK I'm turning into Mr. Hyde. I don't want to. You guys are warriors. My brain speaks total s**t until I find my soul. I can't post till sober.
Godspeed classmates!
Godspeed classmates!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 296
Thanks for dropping in JustTony. Congratulations and keep at it my friend.
Fiona and TYG, I have been in that situation a few hundred times. That’s how my last binge went down. Drank some wine. Thought “well, I am going to have to replace the bottles so I might as well finish them.” Got the replacement bottles and didn’t want them to feel left out, so I drank them too and then some. Completely logical, right? I have had the exact three beer conundrum. Needed to replace three so I bought six. Threw three in the trash but did not pop them open and pour them out. Later on guess who as face down, butt up in the trash can digging out three beers. All I can do is look back and laugh.
That primal brain (or animal/beast brain) convinces our logical brain that we can not live without alcohol. This is in spite of the fact the we all lived without for at least periods of our lives. I went for the first 12 years of my life 100% alcohol free. We have to overrule that false survival instinct because we can live without it. It reminds of that first teenage sexual experience (consensual, of course).. As a hormonal boy, I was sure that if I wasn’t doing “that” every hour of every day I would die. Alas, here I am still alive many years later.
BTLover, same exact thoughts were going through my head this morning. Feeling good, no cravings.......yet. We can’t drop our guard completely. That is when we get blindsided. Have those tools and techniques constantly at the ready.
It is amazing how different we all are. Yet, we seem to have more in common than not.
Trohyn and Chick Chick, I sit, mouth agape, galliantly fighting back tears. I guess, with time, we can learn to share.
Sorry for another long post. That seems to be my specialty.
Fiona and TYG, I have been in that situation a few hundred times. That’s how my last binge went down. Drank some wine. Thought “well, I am going to have to replace the bottles so I might as well finish them.” Got the replacement bottles and didn’t want them to feel left out, so I drank them too and then some. Completely logical, right? I have had the exact three beer conundrum. Needed to replace three so I bought six. Threw three in the trash but did not pop them open and pour them out. Later on guess who as face down, butt up in the trash can digging out three beers. All I can do is look back and laugh.
That primal brain (or animal/beast brain) convinces our logical brain that we can not live without alcohol. This is in spite of the fact the we all lived without for at least periods of our lives. I went for the first 12 years of my life 100% alcohol free. We have to overrule that false survival instinct because we can live without it. It reminds of that first teenage sexual experience (consensual, of course).. As a hormonal boy, I was sure that if I wasn’t doing “that” every hour of every day I would die. Alas, here I am still alive many years later.
BTLover, same exact thoughts were going through my head this morning. Feeling good, no cravings.......yet. We can’t drop our guard completely. That is when we get blindsided. Have those tools and techniques constantly at the ready.
It is amazing how different we all are. Yet, we seem to have more in common than not.
Trohyn and Chick Chick, I sit, mouth agape, galliantly fighting back tears. I guess, with time, we can learn to share.
Sorry for another long post. That seems to be my specialty.
Welsh member.
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Ireland
Posts: 328
Originally Posted by kgirl41
Get some sleep and come back here. You are struggling and we have all been there. In your heart you want sobriety. Keep working at it, TYG. You will get there, I believe in you.
Take care of yourself TYG.
Much as you hate them, go on, have one of these.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Good morning friends. Day 3 and anther sober morning. Yesterday was not the best day ever, lots of small things added up to a stressful day. First there was an incident in my son's jiu jitsu class where one of the kids kicked my son square in the you know what. He was in so much pain. When I discussed it with the coach afterwards he did not take it serious enough and chalked it up to an accident. I was not happy. If my son says it wasn't an accident, then I believe him. My husband said he would take care of it but I made it clear...if they cannot provide my son a safe place to roll then he is done with that place. period.
I get calmed from that bring my son home to have lunch and as he is eating one of his spacers broke and fell out. Sigh. Of course on a Saturday. He is supposed to get his headgear on Tuesday so not sure how this will impact that but ok moving on.
I start doing dishes, turn on the disposal and all the contents from one side of the sink come up in the other side of the sink.
So I call a local service to come out and clear it out. They tell me the service guy will call when he is on his way. 4 hours later he calls. grrrr, all my afternoon plans are out the window at this point and I'm really starting to think sobriety can also go out the window.
The sink gets fixed and finally in the very late evening my son and I sit down to dinner. ok, I feel better now. I decide at this point that PJs and bed are exactly what I need.
I made it through an series of unexpected stressful moments and it reminded me that no matter how much you want it, no matter how much you plan for the next craving, you are going to be hit with these moments. I was fortunate that they happened on a day when I had worked on my sobriety enough earlier that it was strong on my heart and mind.
All of this to say that in our early sobriety (and by early I mean like the first year or more!) we cannot become complacent. Everyday we should wake up and renew our vow to not drink that day. Every. Single. Day. Because the unexpected moments will come and your AV will take total advantage of those moments. I have had so many relapses in these moments. And in happy moments, too, tbh. You just never know when the AV will strike.
So today, I will not drink.
Have a great sober day friends!
I get calmed from that bring my son home to have lunch and as he is eating one of his spacers broke and fell out. Sigh. Of course on a Saturday. He is supposed to get his headgear on Tuesday so not sure how this will impact that but ok moving on.
I start doing dishes, turn on the disposal and all the contents from one side of the sink come up in the other side of the sink.
So I call a local service to come out and clear it out. They tell me the service guy will call when he is on his way. 4 hours later he calls. grrrr, all my afternoon plans are out the window at this point and I'm really starting to think sobriety can also go out the window.
The sink gets fixed and finally in the very late evening my son and I sit down to dinner. ok, I feel better now. I decide at this point that PJs and bed are exactly what I need.
I made it through an series of unexpected stressful moments and it reminded me that no matter how much you want it, no matter how much you plan for the next craving, you are going to be hit with these moments. I was fortunate that they happened on a day when I had worked on my sobriety enough earlier that it was strong on my heart and mind.
All of this to say that in our early sobriety (and by early I mean like the first year or more!) we cannot become complacent. Everyday we should wake up and renew our vow to not drink that day. Every. Single. Day. Because the unexpected moments will come and your AV will take total advantage of those moments. I have had so many relapses in these moments. And in happy moments, too, tbh. You just never know when the AV will strike.
So today, I will not drink.
Have a great sober day friends!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
kgirl, you are SO right...we cannot become complacent. Good for you for standing up to multiple tests. 
trohyn, those are interesting insights. I actually like the distinction of "triggers," because it helps me to be more strategic about anticipating which "circumstances" are likely to present challenges. On the other hand, I never needed a "reason" to drink, so seeing all circumstances as equally not-drink-worthy is very zen and something I will have to consider further.
Day 27. Getting close to 30, which is pretty exciting for me. Yesterday evening, I took my son to see The Post, and then I ran an errand (when I was drinking, I would have chosen a matinee and rushed right home immediately after). The theater has a bar and several people carried beer and wine into the movie. I did think, "oh, that would be so nice!" but then I saw someone with a coffee and thought that looked good, too.
Later that night, I had some fleeting thoughts of drinking, but was able to shut them down pretty quickly and enjoy a relaxing night.
I have a lot to do today, and I am looking forward to doing it all SOBER. Have a great day, everyone!!!
trohyn, those are interesting insights. I actually like the distinction of "triggers," because it helps me to be more strategic about anticipating which "circumstances" are likely to present challenges. On the other hand, I never needed a "reason" to drink, so seeing all circumstances as equally not-drink-worthy is very zen and something I will have to consider further.
Day 27. Getting close to 30, which is pretty exciting for me. Yesterday evening, I took my son to see The Post, and then I ran an errand (when I was drinking, I would have chosen a matinee and rushed right home immediately after). The theater has a bar and several people carried beer and wine into the movie. I did think, "oh, that would be so nice!" but then I saw someone with a coffee and thought that looked good, too.
Later that night, I had some fleeting thoughts of drinking, but was able to shut them down pretty quickly and enjoy a relaxing night. I have a lot to do today, and I am looking forward to doing it all SOBER. Have a great day, everyone!!!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
Hello, I am gathering this is where people who started sobriety in January post to remain accountable? If so, consider me in! I'm on my third day. As I say in another post elsewhere, in the past I have found it easy enough to get to a week, two weeks, and then somewhere around week three, it all falls apart.
My goal today is to do some thinking about why, so I can formulate a plan for what to do differently. Thanks for reading.
My goal today is to do some thinking about why, so I can formulate a plan for what to do differently. Thanks for reading.
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