Car accident- feeling down

Old 01-12-2018, 11:17 PM
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Car accident- feeling down

I just got rear ended by a man in a bmw in my new car that I have saved up for years. The accident happened with my kids in the backseat. I am so grateful they weren't hurt. I am trying so hard to focus on that and instead of the fact that life isn't fair and that the guy in the bmw flat out said he didn't look where he was going. I have had a hard many years. How do you resist drinking at times like this??? The most stressful times.... :a 043:
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:31 PM
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If you have insurance it's not really that big of a deal. More of a pain in the ass than anything. Definitely not worth drinking over. Bummer though, I know, been there.
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:35 PM
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I'm glad noone was hurt - I think thats the real takeaway from this Ryry - I hope your insurance covers the damage

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Old 01-12-2018, 11:56 PM
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How do we resist drinking in the stressful times?

Well, I remind myself that it never made any situation better, and keep on with the gratitude. Our Addict Voices do ramp it up on these kind of occasions, but they don't have arms or legs and rely on us listening to them and doing what they say. Like a toddler screaming in a high chair. It sometimes feels like they'll go on forever (toddlers and AVs) but they don't.

Look at it this way. Tomorrow you could wake up and remember your damaged car and think, at least my kids are safe and have a sober, present parent. OR you could wake up and remember your damaged car and relapse, and feel bad that you're not being the parent you want to be. It's a choice.

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Old 01-13-2018, 05:32 AM
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depends on whether we have taken drinking off the table completely......or not. if we do not drink NO MATTER WHAT, then drinking is a non-starter.

drinking won't fix your car.
drinking won't fix you.

filing the accident with your insurance, getting an estimate and taking your car to a repair shop WILL resolve the car issue. those are appropriate responses and actions.

gratitude that your new car protected your children in this accident can go a long way too!
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Old 01-13-2018, 05:58 AM
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Originally Posted by ryry77 View Post
How do you resist drinking at times like this??? The most stressful times.... :a 043:
think it through- he was responsible so he is responsible repairs.. youre kids are ok- thankfully they didnt get hurt and neither did you.
drinking wont fix your car or make it better.
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Old 01-13-2018, 06:15 AM
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Don't drink.

It's just a car, not a terminal cancer diagnosis.

Besides, I believe in your state there is negligence law. Any person at fault in an accident that causes damage to another is responsible for that damage.

Did you make a police report?
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Old 01-13-2018, 07:07 AM
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Half my life will be spent at or above my average stress level. I had to find non-drinking ways to cope with it.

Glad you and your kids are OK.

Keep rocking that sobriety!
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Old 01-13-2018, 07:30 AM
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I hope you can get your car repaired quickly and without cost.

I'm so glad neither your children nor you were hurt.
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Old 01-13-2018, 07:40 AM
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Good points

1 no one was injured
2 Your new car prob assisted in this
3 it wasn't your fault so other guys insurance will pay. Worse case yours will pay
4 you weren't over the limit.

Drinking won't help in any way.
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Old 01-13-2018, 07:58 AM
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I'm really glad you and your kids are okay, that can definitely shake you up. Insurance is pretty good about acting quickly, and it sounds as though he is at fault, which means if you have a deductible it should be paid for. You may even be able to have his insurance pay the repairs so you don't have don't have to lay out the money.

As for the drinking, you really do need to take it completely off the table. Life is going to throw curveballs, and sometimes they are boulder sized. You need to come up with a new way to handle the stress. Some of the things that have worked for me are: going for walks, breathing techniques, and mindfulness.

Hope today is a great one for you.
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Old 01-13-2018, 08:51 AM
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We were out and about this morning making
our drive to Walmart for a few groceries. On
our way home, i spotted a car driving all over
the road.

Immediately I spoke up alerting my husband
about the car ahead of us and to be careful.
When we tried to get away from him, he sped
up along side us and passed quickly.

We surely didn't want to anger the person
off because we had no idea of what state
he was in. Was he drunk? High on something?
Maybe some sort of medical state? Mental?
Or just trying to get from point A to B as
quickly as he could?

I immediately said, But for the Grace
of God, there goes I because in my drinking
career, i certainly drove irresponsible putting
myself and others in danger.

Yes, i do remember back in 1990 when
I did drive home under the influence of
alcohol and ran off the road at 2 in the
morning hitting a concrete culvert sitting
on top the ground spending 10 days in
the hospital pretty messed up, not to
mention, i totaled my car.

I am grateful i didn't kill anyone when
i drove drunk, impaired, under the influenced
during that time of my life. Thank God I
am sober today living a continuous life
of recovery and am a responsible driver.

I am happy to know that you and your
precious cargo escaped a situation
that could have turned out serious.
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Old 01-13-2018, 09:22 AM
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Simple car insurance will handle this...

You’ll be OK
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:41 PM
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My husband bought a brand new truck, all the bells, toys and whistles. Cost more than our first house. First oil change, something happened and his brand new truck fell off the hoist. He didn't even think about a drink. He doesn't have an alcohol problem. Whatever will happen will happen and cars can be important to us. I cry every time I buy a new vehicle lol. They all mean something to me. Drinking won't help.
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:08 PM
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Your kids can remember this day in one of two ways. Either they can remember it as

1.) The day they had a small scare in the car but were unharmed. The car will need to be repaired, but luckily most people with BMWs also have pretty good insurance. This too shall pass.


2.) The day you relapsed.

And as others have pointed out, drinking won't fix anything and will probably make it much worse. That is a bad break, but nothing was broken that can't be fixed. Life isn't fair, you're right, but alcohol won't equalize it.
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Old 01-13-2018, 02:42 PM
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I had a car accident in January last year, a lady had bent down to pick her small dog up and went slam into the side of me, wasn't fast but made a big dent! I banged my head a little a got whiplash (no i didn't claim compensation, it wasn't that bad!). I got a courtesy car the same day and car was in garage end of day. BUT it made me feel like absolute hell for a few days, i felt vulnerable, shocked, anxious, sad, dejected etc. I cant believe how it affected me emotionally, its just a car!! And thats normal, its just my reaction to the accident and thats ok, so i moped around, complained about the courtesy car, moaned for the world, sulked, felt sorry for myself, felt angry it had happened, then after a while got fed up with that and moved on. Point is that this is perfectly healthy behaviour in varying degrees depending on the individual. What isn't healthy behaviour for us is to turn to alcohol in order to numb these feelings; thats the trick of learning to live after alcohol IMO. Take it easy on yourself its a big deal getting into a crash!

And yes you got to work on that gratitude too that no-one as hurt that has to be somewhere in the back of your mind
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Old 01-13-2018, 02:52 PM
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hows it going ryry ?

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