Car accident- feeling down
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Bonney Lake
Posts: 26
Car accident- feeling down
I just got rear ended by a man in a bmw in my new car that I have saved up for years. The accident happened with my kids in the backseat. I am so grateful they weren't hurt. I am trying so hard to focus on that and instead of the fact that life isn't fair and that the guy in the bmw flat out said he didn't look where he was going. I have had a hard many years. How do you resist drinking at times like this??? The most stressful times.... 
:a 043:
:a 043:
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,901
How do we resist drinking in the stressful times?
Well, I remind myself that it never made any situation better, and keep on with the gratitude. Our Addict Voices do ramp it up on these kind of occasions, but they don't have arms or legs and rely on us listening to them and doing what they say. Like a toddler screaming in a high chair. It sometimes feels like they'll go on forever (toddlers and AVs) but they don't.
Look at it this way. Tomorrow you could wake up and remember your damaged car and think, at least my kids are safe and have a sober, present parent. OR you could wake up and remember your damaged car and relapse, and feel bad that you're not being the parent you want to be. It's a choice.
BB
Well, I remind myself that it never made any situation better, and keep on with the gratitude. Our Addict Voices do ramp it up on these kind of occasions, but they don't have arms or legs and rely on us listening to them and doing what they say. Like a toddler screaming in a high chair. It sometimes feels like they'll go on forever (toddlers and AVs) but they don't.
Look at it this way. Tomorrow you could wake up and remember your damaged car and think, at least my kids are safe and have a sober, present parent. OR you could wake up and remember your damaged car and relapse, and feel bad that you're not being the parent you want to be. It's a choice.
BB
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
depends on whether we have taken drinking off the table completely......or not. if we do not drink NO MATTER WHAT, then drinking is a non-starter.
drinking won't fix your car.
drinking won't fix you.
filing the accident with your insurance, getting an estimate and taking your car to a repair shop WILL resolve the car issue. those are appropriate responses and actions.
gratitude that your new car protected your children in this accident can go a long way too!
drinking won't fix your car.
drinking won't fix you.
filing the accident with your insurance, getting an estimate and taking your car to a repair shop WILL resolve the car issue. those are appropriate responses and actions.
gratitude that your new car protected your children in this accident can go a long way too!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by ryry77 
How do you resist drinking at times like this??? The most stressful times.... :a 043:
:a 043:drinking wont fix your car or make it better.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,256
Don't drink.
It's just a car, not a terminal cancer diagnosis.
Besides, I believe in your state there is negligence law. Any person at fault in an accident that causes damage to another is responsible for that damage.
Did you make a police report?
It's just a car, not a terminal cancer diagnosis.
Besides, I believe in your state there is negligence law. Any person at fault in an accident that causes damage to another is responsible for that damage.
Did you make a police report?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 12,981
I'm really glad you and your kids are okay, that can definitely shake you up. Insurance is pretty good about acting quickly, and it sounds as though he is at fault, which means if you have a deductible it should be paid for. You may even be able to have his insurance pay the repairs so you don't have don't have to lay out the money.
As for the drinking, you really do need to take it completely off the table. Life is going to throw curveballs, and sometimes they are boulder sized. You need to come up with a new way to handle the stress. Some of the things that have worked for me are: going for walks, breathing techniques, and mindfulness.
Hope today is a great one for you.
As for the drinking, you really do need to take it completely off the table. Life is going to throw curveballs, and sometimes they are boulder sized. You need to come up with a new way to handle the stress. Some of the things that have worked for me are: going for walks, breathing techniques, and mindfulness.
Hope today is a great one for you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 14,724
We were out and about this morning making
our drive to Walmart for a few groceries. On
our way home, i spotted a car driving all over
the road.
Immediately I spoke up alerting my husband
about the car ahead of us and to be careful.
When we tried to get away from him, he sped
up along side us and passed quickly.
We surely didn't want to anger the person
off because we had no idea of what state
he was in. Was he drunk? High on something?
Maybe some sort of medical state? Mental?
Or just trying to get from point A to B as
quickly as he could?
I immediately said, But for the Grace
of God, there goes I because in my drinking
career, i certainly drove irresponsible putting
myself and others in danger.
Yes, i do remember back in 1990 when
I did drive home under the influence of
alcohol and ran off the road at 2 in the
morning hitting a concrete culvert sitting
on top the ground spending 10 days in
the hospital pretty messed up, not to
mention, i totaled my car.
I am grateful i didn't kill anyone when
i drove drunk, impaired, under the influenced
during that time of my life. Thank God I
am sober today living a continuous life
of recovery and am a responsible driver.
I am happy to know that you and your
precious cargo escaped a situation
that could have turned out serious.
our drive to Walmart for a few groceries. On
our way home, i spotted a car driving all over
the road.
Immediately I spoke up alerting my husband
about the car ahead of us and to be careful.
When we tried to get away from him, he sped
up along side us and passed quickly.
We surely didn't want to anger the person
off because we had no idea of what state
he was in. Was he drunk? High on something?
Maybe some sort of medical state? Mental?
Or just trying to get from point A to B as
quickly as he could?
I immediately said, But for the Grace
of God, there goes I because in my drinking
career, i certainly drove irresponsible putting
myself and others in danger.
Yes, i do remember back in 1990 when
I did drive home under the influence of
alcohol and ran off the road at 2 in the
morning hitting a concrete culvert sitting
on top the ground spending 10 days in
the hospital pretty messed up, not to
mention, i totaled my car.
I am grateful i didn't kill anyone when
i drove drunk, impaired, under the influenced
during that time of my life. Thank God I
am sober today living a continuous life
of recovery and am a responsible driver.
I am happy to know that you and your
precious cargo escaped a situation
that could have turned out serious.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
My husband bought a brand new truck, all the bells, toys and whistles. Cost more than our first house. First oil change, something happened and his brand new truck fell off the hoist. He didn't even think about a drink. He doesn't have an alcohol problem. Whatever will happen will happen and cars can be important to us. I cry every time I buy a new vehicle lol. They all mean something to me. Drinking won't help.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 201
Your kids can remember this day in one of two ways. Either they can remember it as
1.) The day they had a small scare in the car but were unharmed. The car will need to be repaired, but luckily most people with BMWs also have pretty good insurance. This too shall pass.
or
2.) The day you relapsed.
And as others have pointed out, drinking won't fix anything and will probably make it much worse. That is a bad break, but nothing was broken that can't be fixed. Life isn't fair, you're right, but alcohol won't equalize it.
1.) The day they had a small scare in the car but were unharmed. The car will need to be repaired, but luckily most people with BMWs also have pretty good insurance. This too shall pass.
or
2.) The day you relapsed.
And as others have pointed out, drinking won't fix anything and will probably make it much worse. That is a bad break, but nothing was broken that can't be fixed. Life isn't fair, you're right, but alcohol won't equalize it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 131
I had a car accident in January last year, a lady had bent down to pick her small dog up and went slam into the side of me, wasn't fast but made a big dent! I banged my head a little a got whiplash (no i didn't claim compensation, it wasn't that bad!). I got a courtesy car the same day and car was in garage end of day. BUT it made me feel like absolute hell for a few days, i felt vulnerable, shocked, anxious, sad, dejected etc. I cant believe how it affected me emotionally, its just a car!! And thats normal, its just my reaction to the accident and thats ok, so i moped around, complained about the courtesy car, moaned for the world, sulked, felt sorry for myself, felt angry it had happened, then after a while got fed up with that and moved on. Point is that this is perfectly healthy behaviour in varying degrees depending on the individual. What isn't healthy behaviour for us is to turn to alcohol in order to numb these feelings; thats the trick of learning to live after alcohol IMO. Take it easy on yourself its a big deal getting into a crash!
And yes you got to work on that gratitude too that no-one as hurt that has to be somewhere in the back of your mind
And yes you got to work on that gratitude too that no-one as hurt that has to be somewhere in the back of your mind
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