I wonder about some of your consumption totals.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 115
i do kinda know where you are coming from, personally in comparison with other ex alcoholics I didn't drink a lot(!). But my tolerance to alcohol is terrible, I never could handle it, and even when I drank everyday and got black out drunk every single time, I still never got past 1 and half to 2 bottles of wine before passing out, but then I rarely ate whilst drinking, so that might be why. I was drunk by 3 glasses of wine in, my speech would slur and I would begin to behave in a way that was not 'myself', my husband knew I had been drinking after I only had 1 glass, that's how awful my tolerance was. I'm 5ft 4 and weigh 125lbs, so not even all that slight to explain it.
My alcohol issue became serious despite my lack of knockout levels of consumption compared to others, because once I had a sip of wine, I had no idea how my day/night would go after that, and I began to drink what was left in the morning too. I am a mother and I got ********* infront of my kids, took them out whilst visibly intoxicated and am lucky they didn't get taken from me. So although my consumption was low in regards to others, I had one hell of an addiction. I'm 6 months sober now ive accepted I cant drink, made my peace with it and live happily with my husband and kids. I physically don't know how people can drink so much, I would have died from poisoning if I was physically able to drink what many alcoholics do/did, my 20 year drinking habit, never led me to be more tolerant to alcohol, I just blacked out sooner.
For some it really just doesn't take as much as our physiology is different, but the damage to our lives is no less.
My alcohol issue became serious despite my lack of knockout levels of consumption compared to others, because once I had a sip of wine, I had no idea how my day/night would go after that, and I began to drink what was left in the morning too. I am a mother and I got ********* infront of my kids, took them out whilst visibly intoxicated and am lucky they didn't get taken from me. So although my consumption was low in regards to others, I had one hell of an addiction. I'm 6 months sober now ive accepted I cant drink, made my peace with it and live happily with my husband and kids. I physically don't know how people can drink so much, I would have died from poisoning if I was physically able to drink what many alcoholics do/did, my 20 year drinking habit, never led me to be more tolerant to alcohol, I just blacked out sooner.
For some it really just doesn't take as much as our physiology is different, but the damage to our lives is no less.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
I'm firmly in the "SR is for everyone" camp, but I did want to mention a physiological phenomenon I've heard repeated by addiction experts over many years of seeking recovery: at the end of your drinking career, liver and brain damage cause your tolerance to decrease; I've seen several 30 pack daily beer drinking friends start acting really stupid after just a couple, and figure they're probably not long for this world unless they quit.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
The OP raised pertinent issues I thought. The fundamental basis of the way I found sobriety was identification. They talk about it in the big book when Bill first met Bob. They shared some drinking experience aand Bob said it was the first time he had met anyone who really understood what it was like to be alcoholic.
While those two drank large quantities over extended periods, AA literature also talks about the many other aspects of alcoholism and types of drinker. There is a general emphasis that quantity is not necessarily an issue (the hard drinker may drink more than the alcholic) and brings the illness down to two main factors that alcoholics of our type have in common. Loss of choice in whether we drink or not, and loss of control in the amount we take when we drink.
An alcoholic in his prime can certainly drink a lot. Increased tolerance is a sign of alcoholism. But, in the end stages, that tolerance goes as brain and liver damage take effect. There were two wet brain guys in the rehab I was in who were allowed out once a month. They always came back legless, in a taxi, but they had only had a couple of small weak beers. It only took a small quantity because their tolerance was gone.
Because of a change in our mental health services we now get a few folk, who once would have been institutionalised, coming to our meetings. They are made welcome and enjoy the fellowship and free coffee, and like to play along. Though not alcoholic, one or two like to claim to have slipped by having a tin of beer, and get a bit of attention.
Then there are the different definitions of alcoholic, problem drinker and addict that each person basis their experience on. I fit the AA description, loss of control and choice, while others claim to have control and choice and still be alcoholics. I don't relate to that because it is not my experience, but I can relate to the many things we have all tried to solve our problems. I tried a lot of things before I found something that worked.
I try to look for the common ground. Sometimes there isn't any that I can see, and other times a poster will ring many familiar bells. Once in a while I find someone I can really relate to.
Some posts can seem trivial and self pitying, but I only have to think back to some of my first shares in AA. You would not have found anyone more childish and self pitying than me. I had to grow up as we all do, and I was shown an amazing amount of love and tolerance (not to the extent of tolerating the intolerable) to help me do that.
And finally Bill talked about new members who were scarcely more than potential alcoholics, bring the bottom up to hit them, so they did not have to endure those few years of alcoholic hell. There is a section of the stories in the book written by those folk.
While those two drank large quantities over extended periods, AA literature also talks about the many other aspects of alcoholism and types of drinker. There is a general emphasis that quantity is not necessarily an issue (the hard drinker may drink more than the alcholic) and brings the illness down to two main factors that alcoholics of our type have in common. Loss of choice in whether we drink or not, and loss of control in the amount we take when we drink.
An alcoholic in his prime can certainly drink a lot. Increased tolerance is a sign of alcoholism. But, in the end stages, that tolerance goes as brain and liver damage take effect. There were two wet brain guys in the rehab I was in who were allowed out once a month. They always came back legless, in a taxi, but they had only had a couple of small weak beers. It only took a small quantity because their tolerance was gone.
Because of a change in our mental health services we now get a few folk, who once would have been institutionalised, coming to our meetings. They are made welcome and enjoy the fellowship and free coffee, and like to play along. Though not alcoholic, one or two like to claim to have slipped by having a tin of beer, and get a bit of attention.
Then there are the different definitions of alcoholic, problem drinker and addict that each person basis their experience on. I fit the AA description, loss of control and choice, while others claim to have control and choice and still be alcoholics. I don't relate to that because it is not my experience, but I can relate to the many things we have all tried to solve our problems. I tried a lot of things before I found something that worked.
I try to look for the common ground. Sometimes there isn't any that I can see, and other times a poster will ring many familiar bells. Once in a while I find someone I can really relate to.
Some posts can seem trivial and self pitying, but I only have to think back to some of my first shares in AA. You would not have found anyone more childish and self pitying than me. I had to grow up as we all do, and I was shown an amazing amount of love and tolerance (not to the extent of tolerating the intolerable) to help me do that.
And finally Bill talked about new members who were scarcely more than potential alcoholics, bring the bottom up to hit them, so they did not have to endure those few years of alcoholic hell. There is a section of the stories in the book written by those folk.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 260
Well that blew up! Thanks for all the responses. My main point was that I was or still am doubting some people's perception of this site. Maybe mine's wrong? I just thought of that. Personally I'm an alcoholic that can pack them away on the drop of a dime. I have great days, and some very very dark lonely days. I found this site on a lonely, dark, day when I had hit my rock bottom. And there were you guys that picked me up, dusted me off and gave me a kick in the a s s to do things differently. There are some posts on here that makes me shake my head. I believe this site is meant for people with REAL problems with addiction issues. Not for the ones that go out on cheap drink night and don't feel good the next afternoon when they wake up. Alcoholism sucks.
I didn't mean my post to come across as "well I'm a better alcoholic than you are cuz I can drink twice as much!" I guess I just read the wrong post, or right post last night and it set me off. Normally I'm quite easy going.
I didn't mean my post to come across as "well I'm a better alcoholic than you are cuz I can drink twice as much!" I guess I just read the wrong post, or right post last night and it set me off. Normally I'm quite easy going.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 201
You are taking everyone's inventory? Sounds like you're deflecting to avoid your own issues. Once I started focusing on everyone else's intake, I was planning my relapse when I first tried to get sober. Careful with those thoughts. They are toxic.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Canuckleman45 
I get very angry when some little chick whines about her terrible night out when she had 3 drinks. Or the construction worker that got his dumb ass busted because he was too cheap for a cab. Grow up.
might be wise to go back and read through your threads. a bit of childish stuff on your own part.
im the construction worker that got his "dumb ass busted."
and know youre a sick man.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 201
What you are doing here is called "gatekeeping". That kind of judgement will keep people from seeking help. I knew I was an alcoholic back in my "only 8 beers" phase. I was always an alcoholic. I'd be a million times better off now if I had gotten sober before I half killed myself. It sounds like you might resent people who took control of their problem sooner than you did. That is understandable, but it's something you should probably examine a bit.
And no normal drinker has 8 beers regulalry. Especially since the alcohol levels have drastically increased thanks to craft beers. One 12 oz craft beer can be as many as 4 units of alcohol. 8×4 would be the real number of drinks consumed.
I think you are just wildly underestimating how much that is.
And no normal drinker has 8 beers regulalry. Especially since the alcohol levels have drastically increased thanks to craft beers. One 12 oz craft beer can be as many as 4 units of alcohol. 8×4 would be the real number of drinks consumed.
I think you are just wildly underestimating how much that is.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Canuckleman45
Well that blew up! Thanks for all the responses. My main point was that I was or still am doubting some people's perception of this site. Maybe mine's wrong?
.
.
its not your business why others are here. youre no worse than anyone else.
in other words,get off the pedastal. i need it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 115
my parents knew I had an alcohol issue when I was 19 when everytime I drank, I got out of control and selfharmed and often ended up in hospital. If I had found this site then, I might have realised the signs I had a bigger problem, and I was trying to self medicate with alcohol. That self medication route took me until I was 35 to address because I didn't think I drank enough for it to be an issue. I was confused in thinking what makes an alcoholic/alcohol abuser is the volume they drink, and their living standards (being unemployed, dirty house,bad hygiene due to alcohol) it is way way way bigger than that. What you are saying will keep people thinking that way, that you haven't got an issue until you can drink your bodyweight in vodka at the drop of a dime and have lost everything. I lost many things over the years, it took every friend I had, jobs, money, relationships, family relationships , but I still thought my depression was the culprit, not the booze. If I knew then what I did now, I wouldn't have had to see so much of what I love walk out of my life. Good for them for not burying their head in the sand and ignoring the bigger picture.
I'm aware how disgusting this disease is, I wish I had been spared finding out a lot sooner. I admire the people here that have even an inkling there is an issue with alcohol. Thnk of all the pain they can be spared.
I'm aware how disgusting this disease is, I wish I had been spared finding out a lot sooner. I admire the people here that have even an inkling there is an issue with alcohol. Thnk of all the pain they can be spared.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by joandmelandhan
An interesting thread for sure and here's my spin on it if I may.
I started drinking age about 16. Alcohol took me over age 30. I am now 46 with 5 months sobriety.
16 years lost to addiction. 16 YEARS.
I drank irresponsibly, risked the safety of my children, got a dui (whilst baby in the car), lost my marriage, lost a partner to death by a fatal binge......in fact I could go on and on (my children are 15 and 10 so you can imagine what they've had to endure).
My point is those 16 years are gone forever. I mourn those lost years for me and my girls. I will spend every day working on bettering myself for them but I'm broken and it's goimg to take many many years to try and fix me.
If being part of this community allows me to share my experience to help others then I'm in! If others can put down the drink before 16 years have passed I'd say that's a win! Because this thing only gets worse we all know that. So yes keep coming here if alcohol causes you a problem. Come here as SOON as it does. I for one will gladly chip in and help. It helps me too. That's how this place works yes?
I started drinking age about 16. Alcohol took me over age 30. I am now 46 with 5 months sobriety.
16 years lost to addiction. 16 YEARS.
I drank irresponsibly, risked the safety of my children, got a dui (whilst baby in the car), lost my marriage, lost a partner to death by a fatal binge......in fact I could go on and on (my children are 15 and 10 so you can imagine what they've had to endure).
My point is those 16 years are gone forever. I mourn those lost years for me and my girls. I will spend every day working on bettering myself for them but I'm broken and it's goimg to take many many years to try and fix me.
If being part of this community allows me to share my experience to help others then I'm in! If others can put down the drink before 16 years have passed I'd say that's a win! Because this thing only gets worse we all know that. So yes keep coming here if alcohol causes you a problem. Come here as SOON as it does. I for one will gladly chip in and help. It helps me too. That's how this place works yes?
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Bethlehem, PA
Posts: 230
I love when I see posts from people who don't have high alcohol consumption levels and still want to quit.. They obviously know they have a problem and are trying to stop it before it gets too bad. We all know the longer we wait the harder it will be to quit and the more damage we do to our lives.
I admire the people who get help early, wish I'd done the same thing.
I admire the people who get help early, wish I'd done the same thing.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: co
Posts: 329
I haven't posted in along time, but this did get me a bit riled.
I only have 2 days sober.
I truly think I was an alchy from the very first time I took a drink.
It has always affected my life.
that was 35 years ago.
There was no place like sr when I realized I wasn't a normal drinker.
I want anyone and everyone who has the courage to post here about their experience, fears, hopes, life, to be welcome.
Im on the Ops side of the spectrum, I was a heavy drinker, what does that mean? it is progressive. Should someone wait until its destroyed their life?
I don't want to see anyone else make the mistake I did. If you think drinking is effecting your life, it is. You belong here for support.
Doesnt matter how young or old, or how much you drink.
Im not sure who wrote it, Don't compare your inside with someone elses outside, You dont know what they are going through.
Hope this all came across positive. Glad to be back
I only have 2 days sober.
I truly think I was an alchy from the very first time I took a drink.
It has always affected my life.
that was 35 years ago.
There was no place like sr when I realized I wasn't a normal drinker.
I want anyone and everyone who has the courage to post here about their experience, fears, hopes, life, to be welcome.
Im on the Ops side of the spectrum, I was a heavy drinker, what does that mean? it is progressive. Should someone wait until its destroyed their life?
I don't want to see anyone else make the mistake I did. If you think drinking is effecting your life, it is. You belong here for support.
Doesnt matter how young or old, or how much you drink.
Im not sure who wrote it, Don't compare your inside with someone elses outside, You dont know what they are going through.
Hope this all came across positive. Glad to be back
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
A man attended a funeral for a friend he had not seen in many years. The man spoke with the friend's widow inquiring, how we died. The Drink got him, she replied.
Oh, that's awful - did he ever seek help ? A program, a forum, counselling?
Heavens no !!! He wasn't that bad........
Oh, that's awful - did he ever seek help ? A program, a forum, counselling?
Heavens no !!! He wasn't that bad........
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by Dee74
Gotta be honest - it depresses me when I see people making us and them statements,
Alcoholism is an equal opportunity killer.
I know guys who drank way less than I did who are dead now.
I know some housewives and stay at home mums here with liver damage.
There's other factors too. Car accidents, mixing with questionable people, getting into harder drugs, choking on vomit, esophageal varices and other internal bleeding, heart attacks depression & suicide...and making just plain bad decisions when drunk.
One of my best friends right here at SR was not a heavy drinker by my standards but she's still dead too.
D
Alcoholism is an equal opportunity killer.
I know guys who drank way less than I did who are dead now.
I know some housewives and stay at home mums here with liver damage.
There's other factors too. Car accidents, mixing with questionable people, getting into harder drugs, choking on vomit, esophageal varices and other internal bleeding, heart attacks depression & suicide...and making just plain bad decisions when drunk.
One of my best friends right here at SR was not a heavy drinker by my standards but she's still dead too.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Alcohol is cunning, baffling, powerful--and unpredictable. We all have different metabolisms and physiologies--everyone responds to this poison differently.
I drank 10-14 beers everyday for 4 years and when I quit all at once after 12 hours I was in full-blown alcoholic hallucinosis. Many people drank more than I, and I never drank hard liquor. This didn't make my alcoholism and suffering any less. I applaud those who quit while they are ahead, before they hit bottom. I wish I had. This is a place for anyone who thinks they have a problem--if you think you do, you're most likely correct.
Canuckleman, great job on 4 days. Wishing you peace and strength on your sober journey.
I drank 10-14 beers everyday for 4 years and when I quit all at once after 12 hours I was in full-blown alcoholic hallucinosis. Many people drank more than I, and I never drank hard liquor. This didn't make my alcoholism and suffering any less. I applaud those who quit while they are ahead, before they hit bottom. I wish I had. This is a place for anyone who thinks they have a problem--if you think you do, you're most likely correct.
Canuckleman, great job on 4 days. Wishing you peace and strength on your sober journey.
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