Boring again - and proud of it!
 

I'm here on Day 5, again. Coming up with a new plan, reading all the literature and loving the posts here! Still working my way to go to AA, but believe it will be in my future.

None of my friends or family believe / accept I have a problem, even when they see me having my 4th or 5th glass of wine (and they are silly to believe I don't keep going after I get back home). I am candid that I am an active alcoholic when asked. This isn't a secret; it's sad, but not a secret.

Yet the first thing I was told this week was - "oh, boring amyrose is back". It's always the same even if I take a week off just to give my liver a break. It's not the first time or the only person who says that I am "fun" with booze, and not without. So I brood, and get anxious, and feel lonely that no one wants to hang out with me. Example - same "friend" would be banging down my door on any other Friday night, except now I'm on the do no call list.

Ok so now the big girl pants - boring won't give me diabetes. Boring won't give me liver failure. Boring will create more happiness, better relationships and overall contentment in my life. Boring will help my life last a hell of a lot longer than being "fun", which is all just crap from people who don't want to examine their own drinking issues.

Thank you. Rant over. Just had to get that out - boring my ass!!

You're only boring to your old crowd who are still caught in their ways - I am in the same boat.

We will meet new people, I am on day 37 and learning to have fun with myself. I never really did that before.

It will just get better and better for us both, I am sure. :)

Welcome, congrats on day 5! That's fantastic :)

I had "friends" who also thought I was boring when sober, so I'd always go right back to drinking with them.

Now that I am sober, those "friends" were just using friends. People I no longer associate with as they are toxic to my recovery.
They are selfish beings, just as I was while using, they only wanted someone to drink with, they have poor intentions....

Many blessings on your journey,
DC

Amyrose, that person doesn't sound like a friend. Friends support us and lift us up.

I am definitely proud to be boring 😊 I will take boring over hangovers, anxiety, regret and shame any day!!!! Bring on the boring I say 😜

Someone who treats another as 'entertainment' is not a friend.

I work in a school for kids with special needs. One pupil spent a long time in mainstream before getting to us (goodness knows how they managed him and supported him in that environment). Anyway. When he first came to us he kept saying he missed his friends. Bigger boys who used to 'play with him' at break. How did they play with him? By making him crawl around on his hands and knees 'being a turtle'. All he knew was he made them laugh. He was getting attention. Neither he nor they had any thought for his dignity. Or the fact that crawling round in the dirt might not be good for him. Or that his trousers got damaged and his mother could afford new ones. He was just entertainment to them, not a whole person who they cared for. I can draw some parallels with some of the drinking 'friendships' I've had. Sometimes I've been the one seeking entertainment from others, and other times I've been the one desperate to be 'the entertainer'. Even when its mutual, thats not real friendship.

Real friends care about each other's health,and integrity, and would prefer a quiet but happy friend to an entertaining one who ends up feeling sad an hour and depressed about their drinking and choices.

Nowadays I walk to the beat of my own drum. I am calm enough to enjoy quieter activities. I am selfless enough to be a good friend, so I have good friends. A real mix. Some from AA, others from church, others from I'm not sure where. I am secure enough in my own self-worth that I don't feel the same need to get attention in inappropriate ways or ways that will make me groan and fill up with shame the following morning.

Keep walking to the beat of your own drum friend. It's a better way to live.

BB

I also discovered the people who wanted me to keep drinking were the ones with drinking problems themselves. Me quitting shone an unwanted light on their issues.

I was very boring as a drunk. Talking loud obnoxious nonsense, then passing out.

I am far more pleasant company as a sober person.

Awesome. Sums up sobriety to me.

Thank you, BB.

Most people suck, especially the ones I used to hang with when drinking. I have more fun washing the dishes than I would going out, spending $300 on cocktails with these binge-drinking disingenuous a$$ clowns that were where, exactly, when you really needed some help?

Glad you are here amyrose!

Personally, I think I'm anything but boring and those important to me would agree! I don't spend time around people who might deem me that bc, sans ego, it would probably ONLY be because I wasn't drinking like them anymore. I'm certain that I am far less boring than the drunk me was, by the end.

There is also just so much to DO now! My husband (also in recovery) and I are often told how fun we are because of all the stuff we find to do. And it's stuff neither of us did (we were not married when we were actively alcoholic, but did date in high school, another story!) when we were active alcoholics.

Keep going! You named a whole lot of reasons being sober- even if some call it boring- is way better for you. I think you'll keep finding more the longer you go.

Best to you.

Good post Amyrose ,

I saw a quote somewhere " what others think of me is their business"

I care not what so called fun people think of me I have a small circle of genuine people and my family that's all I need .