"Recovery": The Action Verb Dressed Up Like a Noun
Hears The Voice
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
"Recovery": The Action Verb Dressed Up Like a Noun
For 25 years I hoped I would wake up one morning to discover God had miracled my ass sober overnight. A heavenly lightening bolt would have struck my large rump in the night, and I would leap out of bed in the morning with a clear head and a light heart. The unnatural attraction and awful compulsion for alcohol would be gone forever. No more hiding, lying, plotting, excuses, broken promises, or disappointed looks on the faces of people I love. No hard work. No discomfort. Just gumdrops and unicorns and sparkles - yay!
It never happened. No lightening bolts ever came...
The word recovery is a noun. Many of us say we are in recovery, as it is a state of being or a location. Similar to saying we are in the swimming pool. In that way I find it to be a bit misleading.
You can fall into a swimming pool, but you can't fall into recovery. You have to work to get there. It can be a real struggle. If it were easy to get to that place called Recovery the cemeteries wouldn't be so full of people who never made it.
God never miracled my ass sober.
Or maybe He did.
Maybe he directed me to this forum where I could learn how to live a happy sober life. Introducing me to people who could show me how to plan the work and then work the plan.
Maybe miracles come dressed up as mentors recommending I do hard things.
What a comforting thought.
It never happened. No lightening bolts ever came...
The word recovery is a noun. Many of us say we are in recovery, as it is a state of being or a location. Similar to saying we are in the swimming pool. In that way I find it to be a bit misleading.
You can fall into a swimming pool, but you can't fall into recovery. You have to work to get there. It can be a real struggle. If it were easy to get to that place called Recovery the cemeteries wouldn't be so full of people who never made it.
God never miracled my ass sober.
Or maybe He did.
Maybe he directed me to this forum where I could learn how to live a happy sober life. Introducing me to people who could show me how to plan the work and then work the plan.
Maybe miracles come dressed up as mentors recommending I do hard things.
What a comforting thought.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 342
Your post upsets me.. why?
Because it's true and truth hurts!
Thanks for the truth.
The only truth about active addiction is everything's a lie!
And the only lie about recovery is it won t hurt.
I'm on day 2 for the zillionth time.
I'm really feeling like ****!
We all do on day two!
I listened to an AA speaker a while back he said if your sponsee is always ok.. no probs etc, they're doing it wrong!
If your guy is heaving sweating raging grumbling etc and staying abstinent and doing the verb walk great they're doing it right.
I added the ' verb walk' in!
God has always given me everything I need!
It's up to me to work the plan!
The aftereffects produced by toil and tears for me in the past have been an increase in personal strength and self worth.
It's ok to feel like crap
To be brutally honest with self and realise why I'm feeling like crap...
Truth is it's nearly always down to active addiction and how it constantly reduced me to an irresponsible helpless victim!
Getting this sober recovery underway as it is once again and keep it continuous then my misery will dissolve!
I'm not a helpless irresponsible victim when I'm sober
I would never dream of doing the things I do in my addiction when I'm sober.
I am actually grateful in a kind of grumpy way that I'm feeling like ****
It shows I'm sober and feeling again.
That's a better
Place to be than in la la land!
Because it's true and truth hurts!
Thanks for the truth.
The only truth about active addiction is everything's a lie!
And the only lie about recovery is it won t hurt.
I'm on day 2 for the zillionth time.
I'm really feeling like ****!
We all do on day two!
I listened to an AA speaker a while back he said if your sponsee is always ok.. no probs etc, they're doing it wrong!
If your guy is heaving sweating raging grumbling etc and staying abstinent and doing the verb walk great they're doing it right.
I added the ' verb walk' in!
God has always given me everything I need!
It's up to me to work the plan!
The aftereffects produced by toil and tears for me in the past have been an increase in personal strength and self worth.
It's ok to feel like crap
To be brutally honest with self and realise why I'm feeling like crap...
Truth is it's nearly always down to active addiction and how it constantly reduced me to an irresponsible helpless victim!
Getting this sober recovery underway as it is once again and keep it continuous then my misery will dissolve!
I'm not a helpless irresponsible victim when I'm sober
I would never dream of doing the things I do in my addiction when I'm sober.
I am actually grateful in a kind of grumpy way that I'm feeling like ****
It shows I'm sober and feeling again.
That's a better
Place to be than in la la land!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Thanks nonsensical what a great post!
I think finding SR and committing to being here every day has been the single most important thing in my journey so far. My recovery? Work in progress for sure. Yes I've put the bottle down and with continued commitmemt and vigilance I will be 6 months sober soon. Miraculous? Yes for me but not due to any magic or divine intervention. Hard work and utter bloody minded commitment that's as mysterious as it gets for me. Get my head on the pillow sober each night. That's all I focussed on for at least 2 months.
And I won't ever stop. Trying to improve myself in my own little baby-steps kind of way. Complacency terrifies me. Relapse terrifies me.
But I truly believe that the support here and by embracing the SR community and being involved I've got a good chance.
I think finding SR and committing to being here every day has been the single most important thing in my journey so far. My recovery? Work in progress for sure. Yes I've put the bottle down and with continued commitmemt and vigilance I will be 6 months sober soon. Miraculous? Yes for me but not due to any magic or divine intervention. Hard work and utter bloody minded commitment that's as mysterious as it gets for me. Get my head on the pillow sober each night. That's all I focussed on for at least 2 months.
And I won't ever stop. Trying to improve myself in my own little baby-steps kind of way. Complacency terrifies me. Relapse terrifies me.
But I truly believe that the support here and by embracing the SR community and being involved I've got a good chance.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 131
Great post, love it!
I kept waiting for anything to change me, sure i wanted to stop drinking, then not, then yes, then no. I just wanted to wake up and feel ok, be that person that i thought i should be. recovery for me is a tiny bit about stopping drinking then making sure i don't fall back into waiting for the morning i will be the person i was 'meant' to be; maybe a little acceptance with a load of action was the medicine i needed all along
I kept waiting for anything to change me, sure i wanted to stop drinking, then not, then yes, then no. I just wanted to wake up and feel ok, be that person that i thought i should be. recovery for me is a tiny bit about stopping drinking then making sure i don't fall back into waiting for the morning i will be the person i was 'meant' to be; maybe a little acceptance with a load of action was the medicine i needed all along
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