Canuckleman45

I'm starting my day 4 today. I can already feel it. This day is going to be a trying one. Friday, payday, kids have plans, Hockey game on tv, should I keep going? I think you get it. I'm going to have to be stronger than I've ever been. My desire has never been higher to become sober. I've never been serious until these last few months when I hit my rock bottom. I truly believe that when I was at my lowest point and I was surfing the internet looking, crying, for a solution I decided to click on his website. My whole life changed, I can do this. I need to be strong and thats where my focus is. As I read posts from people that are in good places now it encourages me. I just hope I can get there one day where somebody who is at the end of their rope can read mine and be hopeful. Wow!!! I rambled again. LOL. Sorry guys. What I meant to say was today is gonna suck! But tomorrow will be awesome because I won't be sick in bed. I'll be right here.

Bonecracker

Today will suck for you if you insist it will.....

Every day is a blank slate and another chance to make things right....another chance to push the wheel in the other direction.....

I've been to the gym, sparred a little, ate well....

I like Brian Tracy's take on approaching the day.......stretch and declare "I feel terrific!" bloody works...

What can you do today to make it a good day?

What are little things that perhaps before brought you happiness but you lost the habit of doing them?

What random act of kindness can you do for someone else that may bring them joy? example thanking, praising, encouraging.......

Carpe Diem

Canuckleman45

well for starters I'm not going to drink. after that a good supper, and some relaxation before an early bedtime. and I'll probably have a few arguments with my AV.

Bonecracker

Sounds like fun. Will you have the arguments out loud? That would be a hoot....

Personally I've already decided on quitting. It's done. The contract is out. The lime pit is dug. So after that it's a matter of living a teetotal life......and how that looks to me. Back to fitness and being productive happy and well. This requires little positive habits chosen throughout the day..........the positive habits will accumulate......it will seem like the wheel is not even moving in the other direction at first....slow.....choosing positive life enhancing habits that serve me..........then finally....MOMENTUM........and whoosh the wheel is spinning in the positive direction almost by it's own ENERGY......

Today, I won't have to think about "not drinking". Focusing on what I "don't want to happen" never works for me. It seems to make me obsess on what I "don't want to do". I've learned the art of COUNTER BALANCE.........whatever I don't want....whatever emotion I don't want to feel.....I focus intently on the opposite.........

Anger? focus on empathy
Hate? focus on love (something or somebody that inspires love in you...)
Resentment? focus on forgiveness and letting go...
Addictions? focus on a sobriety
(*addictions=negative habit energies......focus on positive habit energies)
Sickness? focus on wellness (eg cancer patients who focus on super health, juicing etc)
Boredom? focus on creating fun......
etc etc etc

Anyway, hope you have a good one!

Nonsensical

Arguing with a 2-year-old is more productive.
2-year-olds can learn.

An AV can't be educated. It can't be reasoned with. It will negotiate, but it will never hold up its end of the deal. It doesn't feel pity or remorse. It can't be shamed, or bullied, or coerced.

It must be starved. It's the only tool you have that works on an AV. (The good news is that tool is a doozy!)

Your brain will want to argue with it because that is a comfortable pattern you have let it establish. Start establishing a new one. Don't argue with it. Give AV the silent treatment. Put your brain to work on something else.

You can do this.

Canuckleman45

Right. I forgot about the toddler and av reference. So when my av speaks up I’ll ignore it and pour myself another clubsoda with lime and be done with that guy

joandmelandhan

Canuckleman45 Friday nights were my nemesis for a good couple of months at first. It is my child free night and I was just so used to drinking to oblivion every Friday without fail.
What I did was to pre-plan the evening with military precision. Make sure there's enough nice food and non-alcoholic beverages in the house, gas in the car etc etc so that after 6pm I have no need whatsoever to go out. Basically treat "myself" (or my inner addict/av) like the most untrustworthy sneak in order to get through those Friday nights. I camped out here on SR too. Yes there were some difficult evenings where the tantrums came but again I developed strategies for those too. For me eating, downing a pint of water, having a hot shower, doing some vigorous housework, coming on SR, watch a documentary on advanced alcoholism (they're great when it hits bad)........many little things do help.
Yes the voice does come. Yes you can recognise it for what it is. The dying whinges of an addiction under threat. Yes it may continue for some time or pop up unexpectedly to try and catch you when you're weak. But it can't make you go out of your lovely home, go to a shop, buy alcohol, open the bottle of alcohol, pour out the alcohol, put the glass to your lips, take that first drink. It is utterly incapable of that. So you can thank it for popping by but no thank you very much you will never have another alcoholic drink and you will never change your mind. Yes?
Oh and the wonderful news is Saturday mornings hangover free turn out to be the most special reward for our hard work.
You can most definitely do this today I have every faith in you. Take care xxx

MyLittleHorsie

Plan something for first thing tomorrow morning. I try to always have something to look forward to and something I need my wits about me for Saturday and Sunday mornings. Example, Saturday, I do the sports drop-off and head to the stockyards, sure the weather sucks, but I get 50 lb bags of carrots for my horses for only $7! Shoot the poop with some friends. Then pick the kids up, lunch and shopping, supper, then I am looking forward to Sunday - church and brunch out after. Plus last minute weekend groceries, then home to relax before chores and supper.
Drinking doesn't fit into that anymore. Before it was nap in my truck while the kids did their crap, call the carrot man to deliver, eat a crappy lunch if at all, shop quickly and come home, throw something in the oven and retreat to my office, if I wasn't too terribly hung over I would make everyone go to church on Sunday, sometimes have wine Sunday afternoon because I deserved it and needed a nap anyway...

Plan a day, week, month, year, decade, life without alcohol. Except when I am on here reading, drinking seldom passes my thoughts anymore.

entropy1964

Basically I’m in a fight for my life. Sobriety and recovery are the only answer.

This is from your post just a few days ago.

should I keep going?

And today it appears the debate is beginning. Amazing how powerful this addiction is. I feel like I am comprised of two opposing people. My addict and my sober person. They both have very powerful but opposing agenda's. My addict however is powerless without the higher me to feed it. I cannot even begin to review its destructive agenda.

Hang in there. Bind and gag the addict.

andy1

Hi Canuckleman45,

I'm with you! - on day 5 today and friday around 4 or 5pm is my danger time. I may have to just take 1 hour at a time tonight and have an early night. I have a run planned with a mate at 8:30am tomorrow so that should keep me on the right track. Hope you have a good sober evening.