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For those of you experienced with 12-steps

Old 01-11-2018, 12:28 PM
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For those of you experienced with 12-steps

I really think AA/NA may be the only way I can hope to attain sobriety. I have gone to meetings on and off over the years, and I have a library full of the literature.

For those of you who have managed to get clean this way - can you tell me honestly if there is any hope of it working if I am unable to attend meetings every day, or even more than twice a week?

Maybe this is an excuse, I don't know but it certainly doesn't feel like one. I have two young children, two jobs and an unsupportive spouse. There is a meeting I can get to on Fridays at noon, and with acrobatics I think I can probably manage another one, but that is literally all I can do. My town doesn't have meetings with childcare.

I'm not trying to make excuses, but I can't lose my jobs or leave my kids alone. The stress on my marriage is already something I've used to justify drinking/using, and I'm too early in the process to know how to manage that stress any other way. But how can I learn another way? I've heard that there are online meetings - do those work? Do you recommend them?

Thank you!
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Old 01-11-2018, 12:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Fiona224 View Post
I really think AA/NA may be the only way I can hope to attain sobriety. I have gone to meetings on and off over the years, and I have a library full of the literature.

For those of you who have managed to get clean this way - can you tell me honestly if there is any hope of it working if I am unable to attend meetings every day, or even more than twice a week?

Maybe this is an excuse, I don't know but it certainly doesn't feel like one. I have two young children, two jobs and an unsupportive spouse. There is a meeting I can get to on Fridays at noon, and with acrobatics I think I can probably manage another one, but that is literally all I can do. My town doesn't have meetings with childcare.

I'm not trying to make excuses, but I can't lose my jobs or leave my kids alone. The stress on my marriage is already something I've used to justify drinking/using, and I'm too early in the process to know how to manage that stress any other way. But how can I learn another way? I've heard that there are online meetings - do those work? Do you recommend them?

Thank you!
Meetings are not actually described anywhere in the steps. There is no minimum number of meetings needed to be successful. The program is a program of recovery, not of meetings.

Get the Big Book... read it cover to cover. Then read it again.

Get yourself a sponsor - have yourself some recovered friends you can call as needed. Get to work on the steps in earnest. Make what meetings you can. It works.

If you work it.

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Old 01-11-2018, 12:41 PM
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There are also loads of AA speakers on You Tube, I found this very helpful as I am not able to attend meetings either.

The Big Book contains the recovery program, as mentioned above. Lots of Steps workshops on You Tube too. Fantastic help.

I have an online sponsor. This has worked very well.

If you work hard at it, you will achieve your goal of sobriety. Wishing you all the best.
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Old 01-11-2018, 12:53 PM
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Hi Fiona

I relate to your predicament. I can share my perspective and what has worked for me so far.

I won't attend a meeting every day. Could I? Yes. I won't. There I said it . For me it's a quality thing......and a commitment thing (she says as she skipped her meeting today to mop the floor......progress not perfection). I go to 3 meetings a week. That is working for me. The noon meeting I go to during the week is good. I learn. I listen. But it's not THE meeting. The women's meeting I attend on Sunday's is THE meeting. I love it. I'm all in. Quality. That is working for me today. Being honest with myself and making my commitments is central. I have to grow daily. If that means more meetings then so be it. But for me the next step is more service. Stay tuned.

Be honest. Find a woman's group. Find at least one meeting where you're all in. Share, service, reach out. Just my two cents....I'm learning everyday!
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Old 01-11-2018, 12:59 PM
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I agree with Freeowl whole heartedly. Get a Big Book. Read it. Focus in on chapters 4 and 5 and do what it tells you to do to the very best of your ability. A great starting point. Recovery is in actions. The meetings are only a very small part. Doing the steps and living by the traditions are what matter most.
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