Donnie34

Hello my fellow SR. I'm just curious into if you can ever be the person you were before huge amounts of drinking. Does anybody else have a big identity crisis with just not knowing who you are after stopping drinking.

FallingStars

For me I never identified myself as a drinker, even though I clearly was an alcoholic. Weird I know. So when I became sober, I did not have an identity crisis per se' I just felt anxious a lot because of the time factor. Every night was devoted to drinking and I have had to find a way to fill the void. It is taking time for sure. Do you think you are having trouble with filling the void of drinking?

Donnie34

I don't think I'm having trouble filling the void I'm just feeling more along the lines of I don't remember who I was before I started drinking and I feel like maybe I don't know how to act or be when I'm sober. I can remember the person I was before the drinking , I just don't feel like that guy anymore but I want to be. If that makes sense.

2ndhandrose

From my own experience and from what I have read of other's experiences around SR, I think it is fairly common to go through a "who am I without alcohol" period.

For me it has been interesting getting to know me! It turns out that I am not such a bad person, after all

julietUK

Hi Donnie, good to see you still here. Hope your bad day yesterday got better. I remember thinking I would not be the same (first time I got sober), I thought I was only funny and lively drunk. But it proved to be the opposite, I still loved parties, dancing, telling jokes, entertaining in general really, but I lasted longer, did not crash early cos of booze. First christmas party I had I was 8 months sober, I was up til 5. One of only 4 people still up. all of which were drunk. I was still up for 8.30 doing big breakfasts for everyone ( we had a lot staying), and despite being tired I felt great, they didn't. Keep at it, the real you is in and probably not that different from the drinking you - only with control.
Keep checking in with us.

LateBloominCait

What I have found is that I was an alcoholic before I ever had a drink and before it became a problem. I have had alcoholic behaviors of anxiety, escapism and a desire to numb my feelings. For me, the trick isn't getting back to some person I was in the past, but finally learning how to be a functional adult who copes with life's problems. But we are all different. From the outside, I was a functioning person who others even looked up to as a responsible adult. What was really going on inside my brain was a different reality.

The thing is, the person I was before was the person who ended up needing the alcohol. I don't want to be her again. Before, I dreaded losing part of myself. Now I am looking forward to finally getting to know who I really am. I hope you are having a better day today.

entropy1964

I never knew who I was in the first place. And to go with that I pretty much don't remember anything before 15. Kinda creepy. I mean I do, especially when I see a picture or speak with family. But I have no chronological life memory of 'me'. And my folks never took any pics of me so all I have are school pics or the occasional 'blast from the past' pic from friends. Its very very weird.

I'm kind of a blank slate. Well not really cause I seem to have a pretty good chronological memory as an alcoholic....well except the blackouts. Good lord....

Well I guess what I'm saying is you aren't alone. Most of us will have some kind of experience similar to yours. You get to create a new, sober you. That's kinda cool huh?

Donnie34

I have millions of thoughts running through my mind constantly with the first week being sober. So I guess the best thing to do is take it in stride and stay sober. I'm grateful to have found this site and the people on it and thank you for the responses It really helps.

DesertDawg

Maybe you don't need to overthink it, Donnie. Whoever you were before you started drinking, well, you probably wouldn't still be that guy anyway...people grow and evolve. In terms of knowing "how" to act, I think you'll just figure it out. Water finds its own level. Good luck to you. It's a nice problem to have.

DreamCatcher17

I am always evolving, even while I was drinking I was evolving HA maybe more into alcoholism but none the less.

I started to drink when I was young, I don't want to be that young again.
I do still have childlike behaviors like being playful

So I am not sure who I was then.

I have no desire to go backward.

I do like who I am today and I continue to be better today than I was yesterday.

I am and always will be a work in progress if I stop then I am done

Blessings,
DC

Dee74

I found a me I'd forgotten about..and that guy was a pretty nice, cool guy.

He wasn't exactly the same cos all I've been through informs my character in some way...but I liked what I found...which is weird cos back in the day I hated myself so much I started drinking over it...

I reckon you will like what you find too Donnie

D