bossybutt

I bought stupid fireball and my husband found it now I'm being threatened with divorce. he poured it out which means withdrawal yet again with him still expecting me to cook and clean. I have no one to talk to. I'm sorry to tell you all this yet again and i still have to work

Anna

I remember being so afraid, too and it's just an awful time. All you can do now is to remain sober and show your husband that you are changing.

DreamCatcher17

This is a family addiction, so I am sure is affects him as well. Maybe not physically like it does you.
Do you want to be sober? FOR YOU? That is where it starts.
I only ask because when I got sober the first 2 times, I was not doing it for me. I was doing it for my BF, to save the relationship.
This time around is so different, I dont want to be a drunk, the party girl, the one who is always getting wasted at the party...
I want to be known for what a difference I can make in the world, the person people can rely on, the person who does what she means and means what she says, I want to be the best parent I am able to be, I want to be fun without being drunk, I want to explore life and all of its offerings SOBER!

I wasn't ready to get sober for someone else, I wasn't ready to stop until I was ready for ME!

Many blessing,
DC

aasharon90

Hello......

I read your post and had never heard
of fireball before, so I googled it and
had no idea that....


The makers of Fireball, Sazerac, are based in Louisiana. Oh my....


I remembered when i entered rehab back
in August 1990 for my alcohol addiction,
I was soooo nieve as to what folks were
addicted to, especially drugs like Prozac.

Then heard horror stories of folks drinking
rubbing alcohol and various other toxic
items.

I'm pretty sure after 27 yrs sober there
is still so much out there in the world I'm
still nieve about.

If you don't mind, would you explain
this fireball to us who have never heard
of it please?

Recovery over addiction is my hopes
for you. Begin will willingness and an
openmind to take that first step.

geturfreakon

I too had to look Fireball up on Google. It looks really nice so I feel your pain at having it washed away. Think we all know it's for the best though. I have a bottle mulled wine in the cupboard, doesn't appeal at all, but that Fireball would have to go!

tomsteve

after you answer that, which i hope the answer is yes,
then become willing to go to ANY lengths for victory over alcohol.
there are quite a few programs/ plans to WORK to get and stay sober.

Dee74

how are things going bossybutt?

D

bossybutt

Thank you everyone. Things are going better, it was pretty rocky for the next day, though even though he was angry as heck at me, did take me to a prior scheduled Doctor appointment. He ran hot and cold for a few days but seems to be ok right now. I, of course, felt like utter death and am still not feeling great but it is 5 plus whole days since I've had a drop and I know it will get better. I have another dr. appointment in a week and she will be scheduling all the usual bloodwork so I will know after that how I am with liver levels and all that fun stuff. He tends to use scare tactics with me thinking that it will force me to do "what I need to do" and while I understand totally why he is mad when he finds out I have been drinking, I have told him just a bit of understanding or even just listening to me when I'm feeling weak would help. i have tried AA in the past and am not against it in any way, I just don't care for the vibe at my local meeting as the last handfull of times I was there, several "regulars" found it necessary to make fun of me, talk about me in front of my face and stare the entire time. With our meetings all being at 8pm around here it's hard to try to get to a different town to try a new place because it is so late and the weather isn't so hot here in MI. Not to mention husband really doesn't trust me to go off anywhere by myself because he thinks I'm really going to buy alcohol. I am going to have to figure out how to address that part because I KNOW I need some help and some local support. Thank you everyone for your kindness I appreciate it more than you know.

bossybutt

Fireball is a cinnamon flavored liquor, probably what you would use in hot dam or something I guess? Jack Daniels also has a cinnamon flavored line. Unfortunately, it is delicious straight just like a liquid cinnamon candy lol. I was stupid, stupid, stupid after being sober for a while and took the "Just one" shot that someone offered me recently aaaaaaaaaaand then at grocery shopping the next time it seemed like a great idea to buy just about 30 more in a bottle all my own. Thankfully husband did find it before I had too much of it, even though I sure wanted it at the time. Thank you

bossybutt

You are so right. I have finally come to the point where I've GOT to do it for myself. One because i have ruined my body to the point that some things are not reverseable (nueropathy, my poor skin, who knows about my insides) Two, because I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I've numbed for so long that I don't know how to function in the real world where real grown ups deal with life without a crutch. He and the rest of my family all have the idea of "you have to do it for us WE don't want to lose YOU" and I know they love me and that they are scared, but they also don't understand because NONE of them drink or abuse any other substance. I'm doing ok as of today and doing my best to keep it like that. Thank you

bossybutt

Yep, I can't have ANY liquor in the house. My husbands 92 year old Grandma lives with us and likes to keep a bottle of peppermint schnapps around as a treat...and I had to finally tell her to hide it much better because even though I hate schnapps and I feel like a real winner sneaking an old womans evening treat, as soon as she's not around I was right in her "Hiding spot" getting into it and then replacing what I drank with water in the bottle with the rest hoping she wouldn't notice. Not my best moment lol

badgerden

Hi Bossy, you and I are living such similar lives in regards to hiding our bottles, in my case, wine. I lived in a paralyzing anxiety that my husband would find all of my hidden bottles. His reaction I am sure would be just like your hubbies. He really did you a favor. I do not envy your situation at the moment, but I can guarantee that it will get better, as others have said you have to do this for you, and you only, that is the only way you will be forever sober.

You are worth it! Post often, PM me if you would like.

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bossybutt

Thank you so much Badgerden! Yep I have all sorts of hiding places and he has discovered all but one of them. I have spent last night and this morning checking all those places to make sure there aren't any old empties hanging out or anything that isn't that I may have forgotten. I have a terrible fear that there is still one bottle unaccounted for and am struggling with the decision of telling him I honestly don't remember for sure where it could be or if I drank it. I don't want to have to admit to have bought more than what he already found, yet I don't want him to stumble across wherever my new super cool hiding place is and think it was something I bought that day or something. Thank you for the offer of PM, I may just do that.

badgerden

bossy- I almost canceled a weeks vacation one time because I could not account for a missing "water" bottle, and I was over the edge freaking out because I knew he would somehow find it. I did my cleaning a few weeks ago, went through every hidey hole that I had ever used, my house and mind are clear of the dreaded hidden bottle. There is still a lingering fear of one that I have missed, but that is from years of living in that paraniod state. I am never going back to that again.

You can do this, post often, did you join the January class? I also recommend the 24 hour check in thread. Beautiful supportive people everywhere here!

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Berrybean

Hugs to you BossyB.

You know. At some point you're gonna need to stop focussing on your husband, what he thinks, what he might say, etc, etc, etc, and focus on working on your recovery.

Have you started making a plan yet?

BB