The Color of Emotion
 

There is no black nor white today
The color of emotion I feel is gray.

And this gray feeling has me struggling with finding a foundation on which to stand.

Anyone else feel this way? Searching for the authentic self?

Nothing stays the same and if I'm working on moving forward, whatever state I am in at the moment will eventually pass. I could say I felt like that for a while at first, maybe for the first 3 to 6 months, but as I stayed sober and used my recovery program, colours gradually began to creep back into my world.

And now some days, they're breathtaking.

I am waiting for the colors to come...been sober for just over a year.

Since you've been sober for a year, it's probably a good idea to talk to your dr. It's possible that you have depression and maybe you could consider medication to help you. If you are depressed, there is no need to continue to live that way. There is help. Therapy can also help. Do you get some exercise and eat well? Those things will help too.

Thanks Anna... yes I do have depression and have spoken of it on this board. I am trying with anti depressants and therapy yet this still persists. I want to feel that elation people speak of in sobriety, yet it remains elusive. So it makes staying sober that much more difficult. I just quit drinking as a New Years eve resolution in 2016 and it stuck. I was just wondering if others here suffer with the same thing... sober but in a state of gray.

Hi fallingstars
Thank you for your post.
I wrote up a thread last week called the grey wolf... I think you might identify.
It's on here the newcomers section
I read what you said and it resonated.
G