NueLyfe

I was doing better for a while. I haven't been going out as much as I used to. I have never been successful with quitting completely so I accepted that drinking less and less often is a realistic goal for me. But the other night I went out and I got way too carried away. And I basically just went on a bender and spent a lot of money and didn't go into work. I worked the day after. But I haven't seen my manager yet. I've done this before and lost jobs before. So I'm not sure how to get myself to stop drinking. I don't want to keep going thru this, watching my potential get squandered.

JJ991

There are many ways to quit, some do it alone, some with AA, therapy etc. I have an alcohol counsellor & also went on a therapy course.

As simple as it sounds, just don't drink, one day at a time. Moderation just doesn't work for those of us with alcohol issues.

This forum can help enormously, post as often as you like, ask questions, rant, whatever!

Berrybean

Well, the way I see it, you have two choices. Stay the same. Or change.

If you keep taking the first drink then you keep feeding that craving beast inside and keep it strong, so then when you have one or two you're likely to get carried away like you always did. And if you keep getting carried away like you always did then you're likely to do the same old stuff you always did, and face the same old consequences.

When you have quit before did you seek support, and get a recovery plan in place? If not, then that is likely worth a go don't ya think?

BB

theVman31

SR can help you with this : "So I'm not sure how to get myself to stop drinking" but only you can do the ground work. Do you want to quit forever ?
Do you consider yourself an alcoholic ?
What can you do to make yourself feel better?

You can do it for sure.
Just want it bad enough.
Don't wait any longer make it happen.

Post and read more on here too, it helps.

nova84

It is an absolute relief for me to no longer have do the dance with alcohol 😥 phew...

Hevyn

Hi NueLyfe - it's so good to have you with us.

I didn't want to let go of it entirely - so I tried drinking less. I tried every trick there is to drink socially - but it was never going to happen. I could not moderate - and therefore put myself in danger each time I picked up. As nova said, it was actually a relief to be free of it.

NueLyfe

Thanks everyone for responding. It's been an emotional few days. It gives me hope that so many have overcome...makes me think I can too. Because, honestly, I need to. And its crazy to keep not fixing a problem when I know I have one. Being on the site does help. Talking to people about, helps. Being determined to not have to keep doing this, helps. Looking forward to the day when I'm no longer dealing with it, gives me hope that I can make it.

Dee74

Hi NueLyfe -welcome

I didn't think I was capable of stopping either - but I was incapable of drinking normally too.

Looking back at when I did quit the changes I made were immense - changed my life...had to really because my old life was all about drinking.

The good news is I don;t regret doing that for a second - this life I have now is better in every respect to my old one.

If fears stopping you from change then maybe take it a day at a time for a while..recommit to recovery every morning for 24 hours, no exceptions.

I did...and soon I had such a string of days behind me that forever stopped being so scary

D

NueLyfe

Going to my first AA meeting in 30 minutes. I'm not sure its for me, but I never did it before. I just wanted to show conviction I guess...to myself, to others. Also downloaded apps for my phone to help motivate and count my sobriety days.

NueLyfe

I just really don't want to be a **** up anymore.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope the awesome support here can help you get sober for good.

SoberLeigh

Welcome, NueLyfe; very glad you found us.

Stay close.

We care.

NueLyfe

Just got back from my first AA meeting. Everyone seemed to understand me as much as I them. I think I'll go again.

NueLyfe

So far I'm 8 days sober. I've gone to a second AA meeting. It was close enough that I was able to walk to it, so I'll probably keep going to this group. I've been reading the AA book, slowly but surely. I've gotten these apps on my phone that count how long I've been sober and provide some encouraging quotes. I've told everyone that I'm in AA now and I'm drinking anymore. I think it gives me greater accountability that way. One thing I've noticed is that there is a difference in saying "If I can stay sober" vs. "I'm staying sober"even when thinking it to myself. The doubt that comes with "if" is a bit disheartening.

dwtbd

Yeah, the "if" thing kept me not quitting for years. It was my AV ( great threads here on SR in the Secular Connections forum on those ideas), that "if" was illusionary, when I decided to shut down the option for drinking for good, I did away with the "if"s and started with the" No Matter What" s , you grasped that , good , hold on to it.
wish you well and hope to see you around

NueLyfe

Yes, Exactly! It's like every time I catch saying "If" I'm leaving the option to drink open. By being firm with my statements, to myself and to others, I close that door completely. Often times, I'll say if to myself, and when I realize I said if, I'll repeat the statement but change the word to a firm statement. I find it helps.

JJ991

Congrats on 8 days, it sounds like you are doing well. Getting rid of the "ifs" and "what ifs" really help.

Delilah1

Hi Nue,

Congratulations on 8 days, that’s a fantastic start, and I am glad you have found an AA group that seems to be a good fit. I have also found posting and reading on SR daily to be very helpful.

Looking forward to seeing you here.

Dee74

8 days is great NueLyfe

Try not to get discouraged too much - if you're like me you drank for eyars - it's going to take a little time for that desire to drink - that if - to dissipate.

Its not what we think, but what we do that counts

D