Here we go again
 

Right I stopped for 9 months and went on it hard for 3 days and stopped on the 2nd January I was hoping my brain was gonna be recovering good from the 9 month period I was abstinent. I am usually really nervous for about 2 weeks after I do this I have done this 3 or 4 times now over the last 3 years. Stopping for months and months and having a 2 or 3 day blow out.

My question is could I have possibly had some recovery in my brain. I'm in my mid thirties and was a major binge drinker for about 15 years before I started these periods of abstinence.

Thanks everyone

well, all i know is.. for me.. i TRIED Everything i could think of...
in the end it was winning and i was Dying.
it beat me and i had to STOP

I am not sure what you mean by this. Recovering in what way?

This is a very similar cycle to mine. Months of sobriety and then a relapse and 2-3 day bender.
Then all the guilt, regret, panic, anxiety, depression, etc. (at least for me there is).

I have been in this position. On the thoughts of recovery. I get where you are coming from, there must be some upside from many months sober, right?

Well, I would suggest that there is as you have demonstrated to yourself that you can indeed lead a sober life. So there is that knowledge, at least.

The only issue you have to overcome is the weakness into the relapses. I would describe it as solid progress but some tinkering and refinement required. :)

All the best.

Hi Bignasty

I don't normally post. but today for some reason i would like to.

I am on day 81 and your post sounds similar to my recovery over the last 3 years. I had 25 months sober then in the last year i had 3 months then slip then 3 months then slip and now im conscious i slipped at 84 days the last time around. When i say slipped i slipped but somewhere in me i made the decision to drink again. Today i feel that this time around i am worried it's going to happen soon.

What i did after i drank was to reconnect with what worked in the very beginning, i wrote out lots of the reasons what alcohol did for me. the negatives where endless and the positives where really negatives in disguise. i logged in here today to try and remind myself how easy it is on a low day to start thinking alcohol is the answer.

9 months is a seriously long time and you should try to reconnect with what you were doing each day to stay sober.

Time is passing for us all, and alcohol just makes it more difficult in the end.

I wish you the best of luck with how you go about staying sober.
take care. start small. and remember to stay focused with today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow doesn't exist.

Hi bignasty. Great job on 9 months of sobriety - that is something to be celebrated - in a sober way, of course. I would strongly urge you to read up on kindling. I believe very strongly that repeated periods of sobriety followed by binges cause or can cause very substantial damage. Both cravings and withdrawals are likely to worsen with each round. Kindling is still not particularly well-studied and my personal belief, based upon nothing more than anecdotal evidence and personal experience, is that kindling may even be a worse problem than what is generally known. In any event, I'd spend some time and really study this issue.

Thank you everyone for the replies and I'm glad other people go through this to and can be beat.

On the brain recovery I thought although cells die your brain can improve neural pathways and the like the longer you are sober.

I think the reason I have had these episodes of 2-3 day binge drinking is because I keep wanting to prove everyone wrong that I don't have a weakness. Although clearly I have.

Hope everyone gets through this day and a day closer to the ever ending battle of sobriety

bignasty, it is not a weakness.

I am an alcoholic and will never be able to drink normally.

I am not weak, I am an alcoholic.