Help from boyfriend
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 10
Help from boyfriend
So I'm wondering..
I've had two ODs in the past, several OP treatments and a short time in rehab.. I obviously have a history with drugs/ alcohol.
That was back in 2007-2009 though and since then I haven't had serious issues resulting in treatment or hospitalization
I've been dating a man for the past four years and though he knows about my past he doesn't really think much of my drinking
Lately I feel like I've been drinking a lot and considering going back to AA (I went to AA for a year straight several years ago before I dated my current boyfriend)
What I'm worried about is that
1: My boyfriend might not think I need AA
2: He might not think it's a serious problem
3: He might also think it's serious and try to stop me from drinking completely (which I'm not ready for)
I wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic, although I've been considered (by myself and others) an alcoholic in past times
I've been drinking for the past few weeks everyday but I don't always get drunk and I think I am what I would consider (if anything) high functioning. I have a job (which I just got recently after not working for 8 years) and I start the next school semester (community college) in a week
I don't know what to do.. guess I'm just looking for advice.
Thanks.
I'm a 29 year old (30 in june) female and I'm just trying to be happy!
I've had two ODs in the past, several OP treatments and a short time in rehab.. I obviously have a history with drugs/ alcohol.
That was back in 2007-2009 though and since then I haven't had serious issues resulting in treatment or hospitalization
I've been dating a man for the past four years and though he knows about my past he doesn't really think much of my drinking
Lately I feel like I've been drinking a lot and considering going back to AA (I went to AA for a year straight several years ago before I dated my current boyfriend)
What I'm worried about is that
1: My boyfriend might not think I need AA
2: He might not think it's a serious problem
3: He might also think it's serious and try to stop me from drinking completely (which I'm not ready for)
I wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic, although I've been considered (by myself and others) an alcoholic in past times
I've been drinking for the past few weeks everyday but I don't always get drunk and I think I am what I would consider (if anything) high functioning. I have a job (which I just got recently after not working for 8 years) and I start the next school semester (community college) in a week
I don't know what to do.. guess I'm just looking for advice.
Thanks.
I'm a 29 year old (30 in june) female and I'm just trying to be happy!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,779
If you feel that AA meetings will help you, by all means go. You don't need anyone's permission.
AA's goal is complete sobriety. Are you ready for that? Sobriety eliminates all the negatives about alcohol and is really good for your health.
AA's goal is complete sobriety. Are you ready for that? Sobriety eliminates all the negatives about alcohol and is really good for your health.
Samantha
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Not to be harsh, but you’ve been drinking every day and you don’t consider yourself an alcoholic?
And you want to go to AA and not quit drinking?
Seems a bit jumbled, but I think I understand where you’re coming from.
It’s hard to get past the first step of AA. I think you should study them and see if sobriety is what you want. I definately support AA. I personally love it!
And you want to go to AA and not quit drinking?
Seems a bit jumbled, but I think I understand where you’re coming from.
It’s hard to get past the first step of AA. I think you should study them and see if sobriety is what you want. I definately support AA. I personally love it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Anarock 
Not to be harsh, but you’ve been drinking every day and you don’t consider yourself an alcoholic?
And you want to go to AA and not quit drinking?
Seems a bit jumbled, but I think I understand where you’re coming from.
It’s hard to get past the first step of AA. I think you should study them and see if sobriety is what you want. I definately support AA. I personally love it!
And you want to go to AA and not quit drinking?
Seems a bit jumbled, but I think I understand where you’re coming from.
It’s hard to get past the first step of AA. I think you should study them and see if sobriety is what you want. I definately support AA. I personally love it!
Like "oh I only drink at this time" or "I only drink this beer" or even "I don't get drunk all the time"
I don't know. I'm just scared I guess at what a life without drinking means.. even just never drinking socially.. that scares me!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
I agree with Dee, that it doesn't matter what he thinks about AA. If you feel it is a support that works for you., Then definitely do it. Remember it's your recovery, and you need to do what works.
I was the queen of excuses, I only drank wine, not hard alcohol. I still got up and went to work every day, of course I felt like crap. I wasn't as bad as ...
Bottom line alcohol was taking away my chance to be the best person, mom, wife, employee I can be. Quitting for good was the very best thing I have done.
You can do this, and I found complete sobriety so much easier than moderation, it just never seemed to stay in the moderate range.
Looking forward to seeing you posting, and hearing how you are doing.
I was the queen of excuses, I only drank wine, not hard alcohol. I still got up and went to work every day, of course I felt like crap. I wasn't as bad as ...
Bottom line alcohol was taking away my chance to be the best person, mom, wife, employee I can be. Quitting for good was the very best thing I have done.
You can do this, and I found complete sobriety so much easier than moderation, it just never seemed to stay in the moderate range.
Looking forward to seeing you posting, and hearing how you are doing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Eisley1988
I guess I'm just really good at making excuses. I would like to get sober it just seems I always have an excuse of why I shouldn't. I always have a way of making it seem okay that I drink. And that's my problem.
Like "oh I only drink at this time" or "I only drink this beer" or even "I don't get drunk all the time"
I don't know. I'm just scared I guess at what a life without drinking means.. even just never drinking socially.. that scares me!
Like "oh I only drink at this time" or "I only drink this beer" or even "I don't get drunk all the time"
I don't know. I'm just scared I guess at what a life without drinking means.. even just never drinking socially.. that scares me!
no,youre not good at making excuses.keep allowing the excuses and the opinions of others to control your actions(blaming others for why you wont help yourself is deadly) will enable you to sink deeper into alcoholism.
theres no part time alcoholics- you is or you aint.once an alcoholic always an alcoholic-justreadwhat few words ya posted here and youll see the rationalization and delusional thinkin.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 2,428
Welcome.
I always had hundreds of excuses too. It seems to be part of our thinking patterns. I could also rationalise why it was ok to get drunk. (Only it wasn't of course).
You don't need anyone elses permission to take care of yourself by going to AA.
Wishing all the best to you.
I always had hundreds of excuses too. It seems to be part of our thinking patterns. I could also rationalise why it was ok to get drunk. (Only it wasn't of course).
You don't need anyone elses permission to take care of yourself by going to AA.
Wishing all the best to you.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
It doesn't matter whether or not you want to label yourself as an alcoholic. Being an alcoholic isn't about how much you drink, how often you drink or what you drink. It's about what happens to you when you do drink. For me, I lost myself. I hope you decide to stop drinking. I hope you recognize that it doesn't matter a bit what your boyfriend thinks about your drinking. This is about you and how you will care for yourself.
AA, SMART, AVRT - any or all of these may work for you. I hope you join us.
AA, SMART, AVRT - any or all of these may work for you. I hope you join us.
Samantha
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by Eisley1988
I guess I'm just really good at making excuses. I would like to get sober it just seems I always have an excuse of why I shouldn't. I always have a way of making it seem okay that I drink. And that's my problem.
Like "oh I only drink at this time" or "I only drink this beer" or even "I don't get drunk all the time"
I don't know. I'm just scared I guess at what a life without drinking means.. even just never drinking socially.. that scares me!
Like "oh I only drink at this time" or "I only drink this beer" or even "I don't get drunk all the time"
I don't know. I'm just scared I guess at what a life without drinking means.. even just never drinking socially.. that scares me!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
I will tell you how it went with my husband.
Hun, I am quitting drinking, I can't drink again
I think that is a little harsh, I just want you to cut down
Me too, but it doesn't work, the only way is to remove it completely from my life
Well that's something only you know, but I support whatever you do and I am proud of you
He was shocked it was a complete cut off instead of a month or two dry and then ease back in. In the end, he is way happier and he is such a great guy, like honestly, I have hands down the best man in the world.
If you need AA, go, if you need to quit drinking do it, if he's worth keeping around, he will support you, otherwise give him a kick.
Hun, I am quitting drinking, I can't drink again
I think that is a little harsh, I just want you to cut down
Me too, but it doesn't work, the only way is to remove it completely from my life
Well that's something only you know, but I support whatever you do and I am proud of you
He was shocked it was a complete cut off instead of a month or two dry and then ease back in. In the end, he is way happier and he is such a great guy, like honestly, I have hands down the best man in the world.
If you need AA, go, if you need to quit drinking do it, if he's worth keeping around, he will support you, otherwise give him a kick.
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