Gamma62
 

Hi. I am in need of advice and support to talk to my spouse about his drinking. I was raised in an alcoholic home and taught to not argue when he's drunk and then was taught, he's sober no sense continue g to leave,. Because I so desperately love him and when he is sober the next day I feel like maybe I am being a horrible wife and why should I leave cause he is being too.
We have been married 34 years this year and we love eachother so much. But after a I get angry with him he is so good then her go crazy. His last trip into town brought him home hammered. I yelled at him ,(by the way I never do that) he denied till I get him with the evidence. I then just want to pack and leave,,,but I don't have my own wheels, and then,like I said, he does so good on cutting back, then I feel horrible and think "what wZ so upset about cause he is okay in the morning. I am feeling torn, confuse and terrified. If we talk about this, and try again the next day, but then he blows it and again and I go through this over and over again. Do I need to leave so he will k is I'm serious or what? Please help me





In

Sorry for what brings you here Gamma. It sounds like you've been putting up with his crap for quite some time now - first know that none of this is your fault, and by no means are you being a "bad" wife by thinking what he's is doing is wrong. The cycle of bad behavior/promises to quit are classic addictive manipulation, and it will continue until he seeks help on his own. Leaving him might be an option, but as an ultimatum it may backfire too. Your best bet is to get support for you and take care of yourself. We have a Friends and Family section here as well that you might find helpful, but you are always welcome in newcomers too.

I'm sorry for your situation. You are not a bad wife, but you are in a difficult situation. If you are unsure as to whether to leave or not, I hope that you find some peace. If you do leave, don't do it to try to make him believe you're serious. If you leave, it should be a positive decision for yourself.

welcome Gamma,

Have you thought about Al-anon? Dealing with active alcoholics is a tough situation. Good luck