Stopitnow

Hi, after a completely awful New Year’s Eve which started at 4pm and apparently ended at 8pm I need to stop binge drinking. I woke up New Year’s Day with split lip, gash on my face and no memory of anything. It seems I was not content with just being really drunk but I started stealing other people’s drinks as it was quicker than going to the bar (I had money) was chucked out by bouncers, this is not acceptable on any level, I’m in my early 50’s. I can start out fine but the more I have the more I want , I also don’t like others being more drunk than me. It’s now 7th January without a drink, I have always been like this it is definitely getting worse as I get older and is taking only short time to be in the blacked out zone. I’m hoping my fellow friends on here will help me ? Please x

DontRemember

The longer I drank at the frequency and level I was drinking,the shorter time it took from 1st drink to blackout mode. I became a lightweight overnight it seems(really it took years) and any amount of booze was trashing my life at the end.

2muchpain

Your post reminded me of several things. I have scars from head to toe from hurting myself during blackouts. Have no idea how I got them. I do remember one time when I spilled a whole crockpot of hot food all over my groin area. Nasty burns. Ended up in the ER. I looked like a mummy for a week cause I had to wrap up the burns.
Also, your mentioning not liking others to get more drunk than you. Reminded me of when I was heavily into drugs. Might not be the same thing, but I was always determined to take more drugs than anybody else. For some reason I always took pride in that.
I'm in my 60's and yes it doesn't take much for me to end up in a blackout. I drink much less now than I used to but I know each drink takes a toll on my health. It's like playing Russian roulette.
My best advice is to quit now before things get even worse, and they will. Break up your routine. If you feel like drinking, come here and let people know what's going on with you. The more support the better. Take care and happy Sunday!! John

Awake61

At the end of my drinking, it didn't take much anymore to black me out and I had the added nasty voice telling me to kill myself because I was a" worthless, loser drunk "(a lie from the Addictive Voice). At near 62 in my first sober New Year in over 30 years of pouring poison down my throat, I am staying away from old haunts and not looking back anymore. I can not drink. Keeping it a sober 2018?

Anna

Welcome!

Good job on stopping drinking.

I began have blackouts relatively quickly toward the end of my drinking days. It's called 'Kindling' and it's how each time we stop it gets more and more difficult.

I'm glad you found us!

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR!

Whats the plan?

Stopitnow

I persue happiness, I have recently been made redundant without much hope of a job and am on antidepressants however the idea of having a binge fills me with excitement. I either don’t drink at all or binge and then have to stay in bed for a whole day. Should I avoid social occasions as the thought of going out for an overpriced soft drink seems ridiculous I don’t feel ready to tell anyone truth

DontRemember

I avoided going out for a few weeks socially when I first got serious about staying sober. I now don't mind spending the same coin on a soft drink/iced tea opposed to a beer. Kicker is the NA drinks 9/10 times have free refills. Most of the time I just order a water though.

Gabe1980

I can relate. I'm a blackout drinker and prone to horrible accidents when drinking. Also prone to outrageous behaviour and abortive nights due to drinking (ruined my sisters wedding and was in bed by 8pm).

Only thing I can tell you is stop drinking. It doesn't get any better and the post night out shame is unbearable. In Scotland we call it 'the haunts' as you are haunted by what happened the night before. 7 days is awesome!! Keep it going 😊 Gabe x

Stopitnow

What’s my excuse for not going out, can only be on antibiotics or babysitting so many times plus the idea like you say, of going near where I will feel so ashamed is still so raw and so haunting? It’s not the drinking that’s the problem, it’s the stopping

least

I don't think you have to have an excuse for why you're not drinking. But if pressed, you could say you're on a health kick and quit drinking for your well being.

I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

DontRemember

"**** off"..has worked for me.. I'm joking, but.. "Just not feeling it" and "maybe next time" have worked for me. Now at a year + I don't even care what people think,although most of my friends/family know why I no longer go out anymore and they're ok with my decision(not that they have a choice in the matter). I have an event with a business partner,at a bar next weekend and this morning,when I got the call my initial response was "No"..but I can go and not drink,dip out early and still do my thing. Actually , he sensed my apprehensiveness and said; "I'd prefer you not drink,so don't worry about that." I'm going to go for a couple hours and then leave,safely drive myself home sober and not make an ass out of myself and this company. I'm a bit over a year(minus 1 night) and have never been happier.

Gabe1980

I've come up with a variety of things in the past, medicatio /meetings the next day/health kick/taking a break but after a while it stopped mattering. People stop asking and care less than you think.

Now I just say I don't drink.

Or that I've packed in 'cause I'm an idiot when I drink, then laugh! Usually that one with people I've known for a while 😊

soberclover

As Anna mentioned what you are going through is called "kindling". Once I learned more about this, it totally made sense and really instilled the urgency in me to stop drinking. I suggest learning more about the kindling process.

2muchpain

Well, to be honest, if you weren't drinking, the stopping wouldn't be a problem.
Yeah, I know what you mean about being able to kick back and binge drink for a while. But is the price you pay for it really worth it? For me, if I drink for several days, it will take me several days to recover. That's pretty much a half month gone. And those days of recovering is worse than a nightmare. The bad times far outweigh the good. Yet I struggle like you trying to make sense out of something that doesn't make sense. I think the only reason people like us keep going through this is that something is missing. Find out what's missing and fill the void that drinking seems to fill. John

Hevyn

Great to have you with us, stopit. I drank 30 yrs., & joining SR gave me the courage to change my life. Once it's in my system, all bets are off...wish it hadn't taken so long for me to get that. Welcome!

Stopitnow

I have been learning about kindling and this really does make sense so a big thank you for this. I have found the courage today to tell one very close friend what I am experiencing and she has only support for me, I cried. I do not want to be labelled ever as an alcoholic so i am not giving up drinking forever just not going to have a drink on a day that has a ‘y’ in it , that makes it psychologically much more acceptable, I hope ��

Dee74

Welcome stopitnow

D

Hevyn

It's such a relief to let go of it and get free. Congratulations, Stopitnow.

Nowsthetime

Hello:

Lately I just tell the truth, “I don’t like how it makes me feel, makes m feel so crappy...”

Usually people don’t press too much and if they do the might have a problem themselves. I am so happy for you for wanting to change your life. Mine is so much better!

Use us for support. We are here to help.