needsumsupport

Hi Folks,
Not feeling well today...feel ill! I am "trying" to do everything right, eat well, sleep, drink plenty of liquids, keep busy...it's working for the most part but this morning I woke up feeling like I was hit by a bus. I know I'll get through it...because I'm determined to stay sober, but wow....it's hard! Going for my test tomorrow, not that I will get the results right away but hoping it will start my road to a healthier "me" Thank you all for being here...you have no idea how much this site has helped me over this past week. Peace!thanks

D122y

Need,

When I think back on my early days, around 3 years ago, I was so deeply poisoned.

To look at pictures, my wife takes hundreds, I look fine. But, inside I was hurting. I was working out, but I was hurting.

Dope sick from booze.

It took a long long long time for me to get to this state of grace.

The whole time...suffering. I knew a brief outlet, relapse, was there, but I knew the damage I had done already.

I decided I am not going out like that.

Even if I am homeless, I will still Want to live on.

Without booze life is real. With booze it is a fantasy. I didn't know this until I tried to get cleaned up.

Now I see things in a new light.

I Don't blame anyone but myself for my problems. It is liberating.

When I was dope sick I would curl up in a ball and wimper, eat sweets, yogurt, greens, and protiens.

I would binge watch tv....breaking bad was my show that got me through.

I didn't even discover SR until I was 80 days clean. Before that...I thought I was going crazy. Basically, I was. But, now I am better...for me.

Suffering is the way out. I suffered a bit last night. I was at the casino, and busted out of a poker tournament. I was so unlucky.

I thought about drinking for a second. i don't drink anymore. I thought about eating. It was too late.

I went to bed. I prayed to God.

I just woke up and feel amazing. Ready for the day.

Stay clean.

Thanks.

FallingStars

Do you possibly have the flu? I know it is huge here in Dallas. hang in there

needsumsupport

Thank you D122y....I will crawl until I walk again...I got this, I'm strong - I'M DETERMINED - Thank you for talking the time to reach out.

Fallingstars - No it's not the flu - it's withdrawal but Thank you for taking the time to reach out!

Fly N Buy

Those first several daze were good reminder to me of the imperative to stop killing myself with poison(s), It was remarkable how a week turned to 10 daze then to 30 - 60 - 90. Today is #1309. Nothing special about me just a run of the mill (ex) drunk - just like you it started with a decision to change backed up by the action necessary to support the choice.

We all start by building that foundation and you my friend are on your way. Find the levels of support you need and want to daily solidify a new way of life. You never have to drink again.

Welcome to sobriety

tekink

It's going to be hard for a while and you are going to be tested time and time again! Hang in there, time makes it easier and it takes more time for some than for others.

Resetting the clock does nothing good, your AV will play all kinds of tricks trying to get you to drink. In two days I'll have 11 months and while it's certainly a lot easier I am still very mindful of the situations I put myself in.

needsumsupport

Thank you.....that feels good to hear

Gabe1980

Hang in there! The early days are tough. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job. We all right behind you. Best of luck in you tests and I really hope you start feeling better soon. Gabe x

2ndhandrose

^^^^^ This is 'xactly what I was gonna say

Go through the tough, you will get to the good

Emjay2018

needsumsupport,

It sucks doesn't it. We give up the booze. And we feel worse, not better!

I guess we all get over that stage at differant rates. Fo rme before it was about 3 months before I could say I really felt good. And then I blew it about three years later.

Let's all stick togetehr through these tough days.