Anna

This is an emotional topic, but please, let's keep the comments to support and experience. Thanks.

Bumblebee2

I can relate to your situation.

My first pregnancy I didn’t drink one drip of alcohol.

During my second pregnancy, I also abstained for 12 weeks and then drank a lot of vodka. Then prob drank 10 times (wine) until I delivered.

It is not worth it, the cravings will pass. The anxiety it causes is pointless. Stop.

I’m am grateful everyday I look at my healthy 3 year old baby girl. But I’m still struggling with my own alcohol issues.. and looking back, I wish I would have quit official and enjoyed more of her life thus far.

Please stop now. Trust me, it doesn’t get better if you keep drinking... it only gets worse.

julietUK

Hi CGC. Thank you for your very honest post. I wish you and your baby well. I have no children so cannot know what I would do but I do know that NOTHING would make me stop or reduce when I was drinking. And if you don't feel any attachment yet it must be very hard. I just wanted to say I really really feel for you. You must get help but its not all about the baby, you deserve a life too.

Meraviglioso

this is a nice post, I agree wholeheartedly. When I was drinking alcoholically, NOTHING would have stopped me. I hope our members here can remember what that felt like. It is easy to get all worked up about a passionate issue. We all want to protect babies, etc. But it is important to remember how we once were. We have members here who have killed others while driving drunk or from other drunken activities. We have members here who have ruined their profession, broken up families, destroyed lives from drinking. This new member is not unlike us. It maybe didn't happen to you, but it could have. Lest us we forget the famous "YET" You've eligible too. I didn't drink to this level while pregnant, but did drink a bit of wine on occasion. I remember confessing this to another woman in AA, she told me "I got sober before I fell pregnant but there is no doubt in my mind that had I still been drinking I would have drank. I relate, that could have been me"
So, I say to the original poster. I relate, that could have been me.

Anna

Also, please remember that none of us here are lawyers and no one is offering legal advice.

DarklingSong

I was feeling so upset reading some of the posts on this thread, but was struggling to articulate my thoughts. Thank you Juliet and Mera for expressing so clearly how hard this must be for this lady.........Your posts are full of humanity......I hope the original poster sees them.
DS

devo1234

I am struggling with the same thing. Maybe private message me and we can support eachother?

devo1234

I'm experiencing the same struggle. I'm trying to keep very busy but night time is the worst.

Anna

Devo, I'm sorry that you are struggling, but please reach out to your doctor. It's so important to take care of your unborn child right now.

Meraviglioso

Ladies, how are you doing?

cantgetcontrol

Hi Meraviglioso.
I don't know how this forum works or if you get to see this message. I'm the original poster. You're words have stayed with me, even though it's a few months later now, and I appreciate your kindness when i was at one of the lowest points of my life (I had to disconnect from this thread because it was more hurtful than helpful for me at the time). I have been seeing a psychologist and maternal wellness support program and getting support through there. I have not had anything close to that type of binge again. My 18 week ultrasound was normal (but of course, I worry about what can't be "seen'). I struggle with cravings and I have had an occasional drink since, which i was sure to measure out and limit it to no more than a unit, 5 oz glass of wine absolute max (I wish I could say I was perfect in this). I convince myself the research says this is still ok, but of course, I worry that this is a bigger problem that I will need to deal with after pregnancy. (I crave getting drunk, but know I just can't right now. I have a little girl coming apparently). I just wanted to say, thanks for your support when I know lots of people were judging (rightfully so, I'm sure). It's a struggle and keeps being. 26 weeks now. I don't want to do any more harm and pray for the universe to take care of this baby and any harm that may have been done from that intense time of several weeks of absolute binging. Again, just wanted to say thank you for being a source of hope at such a horrible time.

Anna

I wish you the best in your pregnancy.

I hope you can find a way to stay sober for the rest of your pregnancy. And, it would be great if you used this time to form a recovery plan for when your pregnancy ends and you will feel it's okay to drink again. Being a new mom is a daunting experience, so if you have any support in place to help you stay sober when the baby comes, it would be so helpful.

Lava256

Hi CGC.

I’d like to apologize for being one of the insensitive people who commented perhaps too rashly. I actually thought to PM you and explain but I couldn’t find the right words and anyway, you’ve received great advice from so many other people here.

I’m glad to hear that you’re doing better. I believe your baby girl will be fine. You stayed away from the sauce the 1st trimester and have really tried to control your intake since your last bad binges.

I hope your diet is stellar, though. This helps ALOT. You will be fine and should look forward positively to having a very healthy baby. You’ll do great.

Use all the resources at your disposal to quit drinking forever. Wish you all the best.

Lava.

DarklingSong

I was so pleased to see your post. You are doing really well. Just focus on taking it one day at a time right now. I wish you and your baby girl health and happiness.
DS

DontRemember

So glad you're doing the right thing for the baby. Stay in touch and let us know how it goes please. Lots of support here,if you choose to work on a life of sobriety after the birth.

Dee74

Thanks for the update

D

Sparkling

Hi CGC, your story really resonated with me so I wanted to reach out and say you are not alone. I am new to Sober Recovery although I have been in recovery since November (when I hit my rock bottom, received a suspended prison sentence for drink driving, lost my job as a result and believe I was close to death, but that's another story...). At this point I threw myself into recovery, daily AA meetings, psychiatrist visits, group counselling, the lot. I quickly got to a good place and in January found out I was pregnant. My husband and I were truly happy until we shared our news with family and close friends at around 7 weeks pregnant and people were obviously not happy for us and unsupportive due to our hardships with my drinking last year. I could handle this until my husband started questioning whether we should have the baby - this just flicked a switch in me and I drank and drank for 12 straight days to almost 9 weeks pregnant (think a bottle of vodka a day or equivalent units in wine). I had felt there was no way I could have this baby with no support which set me off, then after the first drinking day I felt the baby was damaged and so abortion was inevitable, this made me spiral further. The thing was that after my friends and husband talked some sense into me to stop drinking I realised I wanted the pregnancy more than anything and no way could I terminate. So I spent the next couple of weeks torturing myself about the damage done by my selfish behaviour, potential FAS etc. After reading I think every available clinical study I do actually feel comforted that while there is a risk of damage, I cannot erase this behaviour now and if I do not put a foot wrong for the next 6 months chances are I will have a healthy baby (I am now 13 weeks so 5 weeks since my relapse). I by no means marginalise what I did and regret it every day but we have to remember we have an illness that we will always have to fight, we are not bad people, we are unwell. I hope for your baby as much as mine that they are perfectly healthy and if not I am sure they will be loved and supported more than anything. It is hugely important to me and my biggest priority now to remain abstinent not only for the rest of the pregnancy but when the baby is born, as my children need and deserve a sober mum. Anyway, sorry for the long post, I just wanted to share as I can imagine just how you felt/feel.

Dee74

Welcome to the gang Sparkling - hope you'll post some more
All the best to you and your bub to be

D

Buckley3

I gotta say, it takes great courage for you to speak out and admit the truth of your situation. I respect that greatly. My guess is 99.9% of people in your situation would just stay silent b/c they wouldn’t be able to cope with admitting the truth.

That said, grab some of that courage and stop. Sober up. If you think the guilt you feel now is overwhelming what you will experience as you dig the hole deeper will makes this look like a holiday.

You know this. You got this. Come here, vent and bark at the moon. If you want you can rant at me in a message a 200 page venting whining life story. But for your sake and your kid’s find a way.

One day at a time. They stack up fast. Stay focused.

Best to you,

-B

Oops, just put together the timeline. Great to see your commitment!

Sparkling

Thanks Dee! I certainly will. After lurking for months it's about time I did 😊