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Old 03-15-2018, 02:15 AM   #61 (permalink)
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Old 03-15-2018, 06:16 AM   #62 (permalink)

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Iím weighing in a bit late on this but just say: I attend SMART meetings online, no webcam, no microphone if you donít want to (and most just type into the chat space while the meeting leader speaks) so itís truly anonymous... I find them really helpful and thereís no way anyone would ever know who I am! Theyíre nonjudgmental, laid back and you donít even have to speak/type if you donít want to, you can just listen/read. Just a thought!

I admire your bravery SO MUCH for coming forward about your struggles. And although youíve got a fetus in you, youíre still very much a person too, not just an incubator! So itís okay that you have struggles and challenges and needs. Reaching out was a brave thing to do, Iím not sure I could have been so strong.
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Old 03-15-2018, 11:46 PM   #63 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by cantgetcontrol View Post
Hi Meraviglioso.
I don't know how this forum works or if you get to see this message. I'm the original poster. You're words have stayed with me, even though it's a few months later now, and I appreciate your kindness when i was at one of the lowest points of my life (I had to disconnect from this thread because it was more hurtful than helpful for me at the time). I have been seeing a psychologist and maternal wellness support program and getting support through there. I have not had anything close to that type of binge again. My 18 week ultrasound was normal (but of course, I worry about what can't be "seen'). I struggle with cravings and I have had an occasional drink since, which i was sure to measure out and limit it to no more than a unit, 5 oz glass of wine absolute max (I wish I could say I was perfect in this). I convince myself the research says this is still ok, but of course, I worry that this is a bigger problem that I will need to deal with after pregnancy. (I crave getting drunk, but know I just can't right now. I have a little girl coming apparently). I just wanted to say, thanks for your support when I know lots of people were judging (rightfully so, I'm sure). It's a struggle and keeps being. 26 weeks now. I don't want to do any more harm and pray for the universe to take care of this baby and any harm that may have been done from that intense time of several weeks of absolute binging. Again, just wanted to say thank you for being a source of hope at such a horrible time.
I am so happy to read this news and so glad I logged in today and started browsing the boards.
You are doing great, really great. You have reined it in and are working towards sobriety. We can't say what will be the outcome for your baby when she is born but we can pray for the best and you can do all that you can right now to ensure the rest of her time inside you is safe and nurturing. One piece of advice my doctor gave me was that the stress of the mother is one of the most important things that affects the unborn child. She advised me to really concentrate on controlling y stress levels in healthy ways. Herbal teas are good, warm baths, long walks, masturbation, getting your hair down, a massage, watching a beautiful film, washing and ironing the clothes and linens you have for the baby. Anything calming, self-loving and soothing. Take good care of yourself.

Your strength in coming forward for help with this problem speaks volumes about your character and desire to change- qualities that will serve you well as a mother, you are going to be a great one. Stay sober and you are going to be an even greater one.

Sending you a huge hug and all the care in the world. I will pray for you too.
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Old 03-16-2018, 04:38 AM   #64 (permalink)
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cgc - I didn't catch this thread the first time around, but I'm glad I've read it and that you're lnow getting the support you need. Congrats on your baby girl to come.

By some miracle I was able to stay sober during my pregnancy, but afterwards? Like Mer described, I was a terrible parent while I was drinking. I placed my son in danger countless times due to my addiction, so whether it's drinking while pregnant or strapping a child into the backseat of a car while drunk, I'm no 'better' than you are.

I had some rough PPD after giving birth, so bonding with my son took me some time. I was also flummoxed and felt like something was 'wrong' with me, because we all assume that it's instantaneous and unconditional. It took time, but that bond DID come, and it was fierce. My son is 4 and he is my entire world. And now that I'm in recovery, those deep feelings of guilt and self-loathing can be left in my past.

I hope you keep coming back and checking in here at SR.
ďLove me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.Ē
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