Readygo

I was reading a post trying to stay grounded right now and I completely felt the same as another person, that you’ll never forget what alcohol feels like, and I realized it’s like the death of someone you loved (albeit toxic &#128521. Still I love(ed) the feeling and that’s what is so hard to be without. No one could ever imagine the genuine wish to be someone who could stop after a couple and be okay with it. I know with mourning you stop being as sad eventually and you can move on. When has that happened with you?

Offthemast

I personally don't like reminiscing and romanticizing it. In my opinion it's a toxic poison that has no benefit whatsoever. I was happy before it and it infuriates me that I continued on drinking knowing it was slowly ruining my mental and physical health.

Anna

I almost lost everything to alcohol, so I definitely don't miss the feeling at all.

You might like to read Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp. It's a memoir about a young, high-functioning alcoholic and her love affair with alcohol. Her writing is honest, raw and compelling.

faith823

I remember being 21 I am 47 now in my childhood bedroom sipping a beer. I had just discovered beer and couldn't get enough... My grandfather was an alcoholic and died when I was in the first grade at the age of 49 from "heart failure/heart disease" I did not know him very well at all. Lived a couple of hours from us and he was an active alcoholic . Heard many stories though. and thought he was crazy and didn't understand how he could hurt my Mom's family so much ... I remember drinking the beer and a voice came vividly into my head and I heard "now I understand." in regards to my Grandfather . ..but I wasn't going to be that bad-- I believe I turned out worse. I don't want to die at 49. I want to start a new sober chapter. .

Dee74

I think you have to be prepared to play a fairly long game for a while.

Most of us dank for years and most of us grew very comfortable with that feeling.

Add to that that early recovery means withdrawal and our minds and bodies healing, and it's going to be rough going some days for a while.....

It's going to take a little more than a few weeks, maybe even a few months for you to find a new normal and then to like it, but you will.

Is it worth it? Absolutely a million times over.

Support helps too

Don't forget this is not the best recovery gets...

Have a little faith, and a little patience. You're on the right road,

You'll be ok

D

SnazzyDresser

The good feelings I get every day from my sobriety are way better than the buzz I used to get from beer. Also more profound and long-lasting. I'm not missing anything at all.

rascalwhiteoak

By the end, I was so over alcohol that I've never felt the need to mourn it. Getting sober has given me more positivity than I've experienced in many years. Occasionally I still have those "wouldn't it be nice to ... " moments, but those are just urges, not bereavements.

WIwoman

I am super new so don't have good advice on this topic, but understand 100%. I think the answer is that if everytime we drank, it would stop with that euphoric buzz from the first drink, we wouldn't need this site. As people here say "play the tape through." As time goes on, it is less happy relaxation from the first drink and more humiliating yourself, making yourself physically sick, hurting yourself and others. It is not worth the first drink for what happens after that, 9 out of 10 times.

Debaucher

I have been talking to my sponsor about this very idea. I can admit that I am an alcoholic. I think the intent is also that I accept it. That I accept I cannot safely drink. I told him I think it is messed up but I have to mourn this loss. It is messed up because there is love for something that is clearly bad and destructive in my life. Regardless I must say goodbye. I must mourn. I wish I was like those who said the were over it but I really believe for me to accept this I need to face head on that I am giving up somethings I love to 1.) avoid that which isn't worth it and was killing me, and 2.) to gain peace and serenity and with that a better outlook on life.

I agree with Offthemast in that I don't want to reminisce and romanticize it. That leads to ideas like "I want to be one of those people who can have 2 drinks and stop." Instead allowing myself to feel what I feel is leading towards acceptance. The acceptance process aka the 5 stages of grief :

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

For me the need to feel sad over losing drinking is the beginning of accepting that I can't do that anymore. Feeling the feeling and acknowledging it is there and that some day it will not be so raw, it is what I am trying now. Suppressing that feeling or trying to invalidating my feelings by applying logic or reasoning leads me back to Bargaining again.

Debaucher

Oh ... short answer for me is that it hasn't happened yet but I believe it will. ;-)

JustTony

I miss believing that I can drink normally.

I don't actually miss the feeling of drinking at all.

The weird thing is I'm not sure how much I really LIKED drinking (as in the taste or feeling really drunk). I think I just wanted PEACE. I wanted PEACE from my brain....

Now I am finding that same tranquility in sobriety, so alcohol is further losing its appeal...

I know it's early days and perhaps I'm on a pink cloud? Maybe it's because it's a Sunday morning (not a drinking time for me anyway)? But I feel (even after 36 days) like a guy that's looking at an abusive and unattractive woman that I used to date and asking myself "what did I ever see in YOU?"

PeacefulWater12

I also initially mourned the loss of alcohol. Although drinking it caused me no end of problems, I still mourned it.

Over time I gradually realised that the feeling of being present, solid and sober in the world felt a whole lot better than the fleeting "buzz". A buzz which towards the end of my drinking career fizzled out anyway.

I couldn't honestly put a timescale on it. Was so gently gradual.

The feelings the body releases following a good walk, or time with pals, or a healthy meal etc are much much nicer than a drinking buzz. They also last longer and don't suddenly crash. Its like a warm, pleasant feeling all the time.

Drinking buzz felt kind of harsh and short lived, to me.

Of course as the numbness of alcohol leaves, it becomes possible to feel much more delicate emotions. As a drunk I could only feel anger, rage, desperate despair. The extremes.

Eaglelizard

I was waiting for the bus after work today, it took a long time to come. I then had to sit on the bus, fairly hungry, for a while before I got back home. I felt relaxed and grateful for the opportunity to switch off and look out the window and wind down a bit. When drinking, I would have probably been annoyed for waiting and feeling extremely crash-ey during the ride, energy levels bonking and mind just craving that vodka, beer back, the moment I stepped in the door. I guess it took me about 6 months before I started feeling more chilled out and grateful for just going through the routine of my day without the anger, disappointment in myself for not achieving more, annoyance at trivial things that then brought all the other angry feelings about my life, human history, and the universe--to the surface.

least

For me, it was about six months sober when I realized I wasn't thinking about alcohol constantly and didin't miss it.

soberandhonest

I'm two years in and still have occasional feelings of missing alcohol. I think it will be that way for the rest of my life, which is perfectly fine. The thing is, they are simply feelings, not urges, and they are quickly put aside with simple logic. I know that one drink will become 100 or 1000 and will probably kill me or at least destroy all that is important to me. There is just no safe way for me to drink without it becoming a problem. I'm fine with that - I have a lot of really fantastic qualities and this one genetic problem, which isn't too bad if you ask me. I also know that, despite having occasional feelings of wanting a beer or two, I am so much healthier and happier without alcohol in my life that it just doesn't make any sense. Knock on wood, my genes are not particularly susceptible to cancers and other diseases. People in my family die of old age, alcoholism, or accidents associated with alcoholism. I've decided to cast my lot with the first category of dead family members. Finally, the happiest days of my life are days when my dreams are big, my mind is churning, and my body is busy - those are not days spent drinking. Happy Sunday everyone. Today is a fantastic day!

applewakesup

I'm sure it's different for everyone but for me it was about three months. I have over 7 months sober now and I have no desire for alcohol at all. When I remember the feeling of it, nausea comes to mind. This is my honest experience. Hopefully that will happen for you as well.

tomsteve

romanticizing the good feelings and giggles- i found it best to look past that. there was absolutely no good feelings and giggles once i crossed the line into full blown alcoholism. even before that, the giggles and good feelings truly werent there- it was all alcohol- the reason i drank was to feel good when i wasnt until i wasnt drinking to feel good.then it was nothing but gloom,dispair,and agony

i have absolutely no desire to be someone who can have a couple and walk away. i never was sad because i had to stop drinking- i was sad because of the state of my existence from using alcohol- i was out of denial and saw all the damage alcohol had done. i wanted no more part of it and wanted to learn how to feel and be happy without it. i wanted to be free from the bondage.
and i was willing to go to any lengths to get that.
glad i did,too. my worst day sober is better than my best day drinking.

tekink

Instead of thinking of the death of someone you held dear I think of it as an old friend who took advantage of you to the point where you had to cut them off.

Sure you kind of miss them but thinking about them isn't really pleasant memories.

DG0409

For me, I think it helps a lot not to let myself separate the good parts from the bad parts of drinking. I don't let myself just remember the good parts because that's not how it was.

There were so many awful aspects mixed in with the good feelings. And at the end, I had definitely reached a point where there was no more good. I wanted there to be. I was drinking more trying to get that feeling back, but it wasn't going to happen.

It's rare that I think of it, but I admit, I still have occasional thoughts. I use them to remind me how crazy alcoholism is. After everything that I went through from drinking the fact that I could at all think that it would be a good idea is totally nutso.

When I quit I'd gotten to a point where alcohol was not working for me at all and my life was really awful. I really didn't mourn drinking.

I threw myself whole-heartedly into making my sober life the best that it could be and facing the difficult feelings and problems. I knew that everything that sucked in my life was a result of the destruction from drinking. Drinking more was only going to create more problems and then I'd be drinking more to try to forget about them. Only I'd reached a point were drinking didn't make me forget: I felt awful and depressed even when drinking (which was all the time).

I decided to go through my problems, to suffer through feeling the misery of them... and to work to solve them so that those awful feelings would go away.

I also tried to think about what specifically I missed and find healthy ways to get those feelings. For example, I missed 'relaxing'... so I took up yoga. A lot of people take up running or other forms of exercise to get that 'rush' in a health way.

It can take a while for those other things to really feel as good as they should though because your brain is healing in the early months.

Nonsensical

That actual really good feeling stopped long before I did. My last few drinking years were all about chasing down a phantom that couldn't be caught.

Want to stop staring in your rear view mirror? Put it in drive and step on the gas. You can't help but look in the direction you are going.

You can do this.