SimplyFree

For some reason I had this deja vu moment about going to bed. I lost my balance for a split second while getting ready for bed and the memories of going to bed after an evening of wine, flooded back into my mind. The intense focus of trying to just make to the couch and throwing myself on it, rolled through my brain. I don’t miss it. I’m nearly at 9 months, I sleep decent. So many things have changed, so things haven’t, I’m still lonely and I have moments of depression, and I’m without any real friends, but my teenage kids have a better Dad and I’m engaged in their lives so much more. I’m not going back. At 9 months, 90 days will take on a different meaning. The count down to a whole year. That seems unfathomable. But I can’t and won’t get ahead of myself. I’m very grateful.
Blessings to all, stay strong.
SF

Dee74

9 months is great SF.
For what it's worth every time I think my life has stopped changing or its grown as much as it can, something new happens.

I feel you have a great future ahead of you full of friends family fun and laughter

D.

PeacefulWater12

This is exact my experience too. It amazes me.

Very well done on 9 months. Good work.

Youcangetthere

Hi Simplyfree,
When you feel down and lonely, remember we are here. We are your friends and we care. You are not alone. Xx

DontRemember

I'm having that feeling too, after falling asleep on the couch watching TV. Almost feels like I blacked out,but..I haven't had a drink in months. Weird feeling(that I know too well) of "what did I do?".. crazy and a first for sober me! But.. I'm not drinking/drunk so, I've got that going for me?

rainyengland

Hi SF

Great to see you your still going strong :-)

My de javu moment is always cleaning my teeth in morning ..used to ram toothbrush so far down throat in vain hope it would remove the taste and cure the hangover ..!

As long as it’s de javu and not reality ever again then all good ! 😎

SimplyFree

I’ve had several of those type of moments over the last several months, but they didn’t linger. Admittedly this one bothered me. But it is just a feeling, so I know to ignore it. Certainly it reminded me I’m not interested in going back to wine. Thanks for all your encouragement.

Maudcat

Yah, the balance thing.
Congratulations on nine months.

D122y

Simply,

Making it mostly booze free this long is beginning to feel normal.

Not drinking, for me, was a novelty for a while.

It was almost like I was special, in my mind. I was a drinker and I quit.

I still crave, folks that don't crave are lucky.

But, now my emotions are real. My reactions are the real me. I love, love, love that.

I love being real and not under the influence of alcohol.

Since I was addicted since I was a child, I never knew the real me.

Now physically clean no need to fall back into addiction. No need to poison my body with mind altering substances again.

Thanks.

DontRemember

I'm still a bit mentally shook up about last night. Almost feels like I drank. I got back to sleep ok and slept well,but just have the shame/regret feeling, like I drank. weird.

faith823

congrats on nine months- that is huge/remarkable.
I am on day 13 . I hope you feel better emotionally , please know
you are an example to others , an inspiration to others and tending to yourself with self care. I hope to continue as well.
Here is to the next chapter of a sober existence. I can relate to the flashbacks and the loss of control we have experience it does shake you up a bit. But the realization that I am sober in the now and to move on helps me to reconcile the feelings.
Congrats again.