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Fell off hard! Back to day 2

Old 01-05-2018, 10:50 AM
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Fell off hard! Back to day 2

Went around 90 days, then had a glass of wine with dinner at Thanksgiving.. Won't do that again. Turned into a 6 week binge right up to my old consumption levels.

My last quit was aided by a home detox prescription from my doc which made things much easier than they would have been otherwise. This time around I was too embarrassed to return, so I started a 3 day taper on New Year's Day.

All I can say is, the last four days have been horrible. No eating, sleeping, barely able to keep down water.. Yuck!! All the while having to come in to work and try to run a business. Spent a lot of time with my office door shut, lying on the floor with a blanket.

On the upside, I'm on day 2 now and I woke up feeling fantastic. I'm pretty sure the acute withdrawal is over. Think I might hit my first meeting today or tomorrow.

I have 362 sober days available in 2018. I don't intend to waste them.
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Old 01-05-2018, 10:53 AM
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Welcome back REM. I didn't drink wine, but i tried having "one beer" and ended up in the same situation more than once.

Hope things start improving soon, don't be afraid to talk with your doc if things get too bad. Much better to be safe than sorry, right?
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Old 01-05-2018, 11:00 AM
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I have been there, too. Had 2 months sober and then the weather was nice. Thought I would have a beer and enjoy being out in the sun. One turned into many many more over 5 days. We cannot think that one won't matter. One is too many and 100 is never enough!
So, you are back. Good to have you here. Join the Jan. Class for some more support.
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Old 01-05-2018, 11:24 AM
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My old consumption level was about 600ml of Vodka per day after work (between 6pm and 11pm). Usually started much earlier on the weekends. Didn't take long to get back to it. I'll go check in with the January group. I can't go through this again. It was pretty miserable this time around.
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Old 01-05-2018, 11:38 AM
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Welcome back, REM; sorry to hear that you have been struggling.

Onward, together.
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Old 01-05-2018, 12:51 PM
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I'm glad to see you back, REM.
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Old 01-05-2018, 01:34 PM
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Welcome back! Relapse is horrible but it's a blessing that we can start the new year sober and start being the people we choose to be. I choose not to be a drunken mess in 2018! I hope you keep feeling better over the next few days. Gabe x
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Old 01-05-2018, 01:41 PM
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Yea...this is one reason I know I can't drink anymore. My last 'fall off' was only one night,but it was a nightmare of a night for me. Some people would think it 'awesome' and have told me as much,but..being sober for 8mo to completely go off the rails for one night and do things I'd have not done sober...NO..not awesome and I hated myself for a while. Some 'sleazy' guys at AA thought it'd make for a great night? Some friends,that were there, thought I was fine. I just know I didn't like myself after it and I'm the only person that makes my decisions,soooooo..
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Old 01-05-2018, 01:53 PM
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Welcome back REM,

Take this experience as a learning opportunity. And thank you for the reminder that one is too much.
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Old 01-05-2018, 02:20 PM
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Welcome back, glad your feeling better.
Good to be reminded how dangerous that road again can be for us.
Thank You.
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Old 01-05-2018, 03:55 PM
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Well done for starting again! It’s amazing isn’t it? One glass of wine and 6 weeks later we finish it! And that could easily be 6 months/years! Go for it this time, stay sober!
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Old 01-05-2018, 04:03 PM
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Welcome back

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Old 01-05-2018, 04:15 PM
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I identify
Just a quick one to numb out then
Days into weeks.. . Baffling!

I need and very much want sober 2018
I'm just back from the Furnace
Doing good through the withdrawal this time.
Keep with us
Keep posting
G
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Old 01-05-2018, 05:14 PM
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Proud of you for taking control of your life once again, REM.
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Old 01-05-2018, 05:23 PM
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Good news! You don't ever have to go through this again!
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Old 01-06-2018, 03:28 AM
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Glad you're back and feeling better, REM. Each subsequent withdrawal is worse than the last; it's a phenomena called kindling, and it has happened to me. The good news is that you never have to go through it again. Best wishes on your sober journey.
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Old 01-06-2018, 03:57 AM
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Originally Posted by REM700 View Post
Went around 90 days, then had a glass of wine with dinner at Thanksgiving.. Won't do that again. Turned into a 6 week binge right up to my old consumption levels.

My last quit was aided by a home detox prescription from my doc which made things much easier than they would have been otherwise. This time around I was too embarrassed to return, so I started a 3 day taper on New Year's Day.

All I can say is, the last four days have been horrible. No eating, sleeping, barely able to keep down water.. Yuck!! All the while having to come in to work and try to run a business. Spent a lot of time with my office door shut, lying on the floor with a blanket.

On the upside, I'm on day 2 now and I woke up feeling fantastic. I'm pretty sure the acute withdrawal is over. Think I might hit my first meeting today or tomorrow.

I have 362 sober days available in 2018. I don't intend to waste them.

Many many problems in life where we fall off our horse and lay wriggling in the mud, this does not just relate to Alcohol!
But every time we fall (and it can be a billion times) we slowly learn!

So falling off is ok, getting back up might seem to take forever but in the end we all manage this even if we get back on and fall off again straight away.

The art is not beating yourself up because you fell, you're no longer laying there wriggling in the mud, that ground is behind you, it is the past, its gone, as gone as yesterday.

Not much point dwelling on it, dwelling on it serves no purpose but to beat yourself up mentally thinking about it whilst you attempt to ride forward again!

Everybody falls off, absolutely everybody.

Don't worry about it!
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Old 01-06-2018, 04:18 AM
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Don't stress drink less, its a progressive illness, its takes a progression to sobriety. I found myself last year after I was hospitalized with a pancreas problem, my benders getting less and less. 19 days 5 liters of wine a day to an almost exploded pancreas, to a few days of 4 liters then withdraw. The fact that you know you fell off, means you are getting closer to realizing you have no control over it.
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Old 01-08-2018, 02:02 PM
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Thank you all for the support. Today is day 5.. I'm faced with a horrible situation (for me, anyway).

This weekend is my birthday and a few weeks back, we made plans to go to Las Vegas for a couple of days. I'm really dreading it. It's only a 4 hour drive from Los Angeles and we usually go several times a year. I've never been there without drinking all the free booze one can handle (or not handle)..

Every time I think about it, I get obsessive thoughts in my head about how I'm going to react... What am I going to do? How will I have fun??!! I almost feel like canceling the whole thing, but on the other hand, I know that I have to face my fears. Do everything I would normally do, only do it sober!

I have a feeling this is going to be the ultimate test for me.
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Old 01-08-2018, 02:11 PM
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Yep, it sure will be a test but, you will pass if you have a plan. What are you going to drink that is not an alcoholic beverage. Lots of us have favorite drinks that we order and enjoy without the booze.
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