Jtmlk

Last year has not been kind to me and I became a passive victim in drinking my life away. Im not sure what I expect of myself at the moment only that I have publicly told people im doing dry January as I know many who are trying it. I hope to maybe do more but at present am concentrating on the present day.
On day 2 today - pathetically the longest ive given up for at least 9 months- its so so difficult and I nearly caved in earlier but decided to watch telly with the boys instead.
Hope everyone is doing well today on your journey

paulski75

Thanks for the message. I am also day 2 and rather down. But I know I am an alcoholic and there is not a great prospect for me if I carry on drinking.....I am looking self-trust and hope and that's dangerous.
Do not drink and we will be fine

faith823

Hello JTMLK
I am on day 10 and today was very challenging for me as well.
I am in for the night sipping cool ice water. I am very grateful for a sober sleep. I have been a willing participant in 2017 of losing most everything I value in order to drink. Not to mention how much I have lowered my self respect. Alcohol allows me to exist without self respect not a great way to exist.
I am so glad you made it through today and tomorrow will be day 3. I hope to stay sober the month of January and when I review the month of January and there are no hangovers/regrets/pulsing anxiety/blackouts/hurt feelings/loss of money/loss of self/shame I will continue my sobriety in February ... Thank you for your post. It helps to know we are not alone.

Gabe1980

Hi Folks. I am on day 5 after a relapse over Christmas. I've been actively working on recovery since August and this site has helped me so much. I really learning what I need to know to be free from alcohol.

Starting out is really rough and relapsing sucks but there is hope. It can be done. I had 7 weeks and started to feel great. We can all do this. Those horrible feeling start to change. I wish everyone well in their first few days and reach out here if you think you might give in. I've had great advice and support. Gabe x

Silverback4

The benefits are significant and abundant. Things will get easier and better the longer you stay sober.
I promised and tried many dry January’s, Stoptobers, Giving up for lent, try 90 days, promise I will stop after this Holiday/Vacation, will stop after this upcoming birthday party, stag do, christening, baby shower, after this hard week at work, after this business trip and so the merrygo round went.

I personally never stood a chance until I faced up to myself and admitted that I will not drink again for any reason, event, day, hardship, celebration, because the day ends with a Y.
Wishing all the best. Stay strong.

Sasha4

Hey you

I just wanted share my stopping drinking with you in the hope that it might help you.
I understand those early days.

I gave up drinking initially for a month on the 14th of Feb.
Here I am nearly 6 years later.

I became tired of drinking and tired of feeling rubbish all the time.
I wanted more out of life than drinking myself silly every evening whilst sat on the sofa watching soaps.

If anyone asked, at first I said I was stopping for a month.

When the month passed, I said I was aiming for 3 months, then 6 months and then a year and then after that people did not ask anymore.

I only volunteered the information if I was asked though. I never discussed it in any detail as I saw that it was my battle to fight and I chose to fight it quietly and privately.
I had no desire to shout it from the roof tops.

I would not say it was hard, it was just different.

I had been in the same pattern everyday for a number of years.

I would buy vodka to drink in the evening but tell myself only to drink a couple of drinks.

Then drink vodka in the evening and drink most of the bottle.

Wake up feeling hideous mentally and physically.
Swear that was it, no more drinking.

As the day wore on, I started to think just a few drinks maybe?
Around 4pm swing by the corner shop to buy vodka on the way home from work.
Swear to myself only a couple of drinks. The bottle must last the week.

Drink all the vodka, wake up again saying never again, stop at a different shop around 4pm, drink it all.....on and on and on again.

You are right to take it one day at a time.
Never think beyond that.
If friends said to me 'does that mean you won't drink when its my birthday, wedding, holiday, retirement..', I just said 'I'm not sure, I will cross that bridge when I get there'.

I never did though!

'HALT' was really significant to me too in the early days.
Never get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired as that can lead to thoughts of having a drink.
I am a massive advocate of having a sugary snack or drink around 3.30pm as that was around the time my mind wandered to stopping at the shop for vodka.
A doughnut, a fresh orange juice, a milkshake - it helped me get through the evening.
I kept busy too in the evening.

I really do wish you the best x

JJ991

Pretty much sums up how it went for me too!

Dee74

Welcome back jtmlk

have you thought any yet about what you might do differently this time? any kind of plan?

D

Jtmlk

Thank you everyone for your kind replys you are all amazing. Not sure what im going to do differently although will be happy if I get back to where I was after previously giving up for 6 months. Lots of excersice and yoga once ive lost some weight.
That said the idea of a doughnut daily sounds a good idea- previously i was addicted to ice cream and lemonade when i had given up.
Thanks once again everyone you are all wonderful

Sasha4

Are you old enough to remember coke floats?
I used to love drinking coke with vanilla ice cream in it!!
But I was born in the 1970's so you might be lots younger than me and thats what we got as a treat when we were growing up.

I also really got in to reading too.
I used to love reading before I started to drink every night.
I loved having a good book to take with me anywhere I went.

I found changing my routine on a night time helped too.

I used to sit on the same spot on the sofa, watching the same soaps, drinking out of the same favourite glass every night.

I found getting off the sofa, smashing my favourite glass really helped me.
Simple as it sounds, I looked forward to going home and getting into bed early with my book.

Are there any types of books you really like?

I like Marian Keyes as an author. I also liked Girl on a Train and I read some autobiographies too.

Still wishing you the best xx

Cappy76

Sounds like me Last year was probably the worst year of my drinking life. Had 17 jobs, was in hospital 2 times. It was when I really start to hit it hard day after day, I was never a next day drinker although a major drunk, now my anxiety is so bad its hard to function. Its taken me until almost 42 to get like this.

Jtmlk

Sasha- wow I had forgotten all about coke floats when i was a youngster so I guess we are about as young as each other. I have a couple of books to read - first one is called its all a state of mind which is written by a local fitness trainer who specialises in men over 35 who have lost their way.
Day 3 today and main problem is night has become day as im falling asleep about 6am and waking at 4pm.
Am forcing myself to get up tommorow as meeting someone at 1pm for lunch - a good friend and neither of us drink when at lumch so should be no,problem

noturningback2

welcome, day 2 is an achievement but you can also feel so terrible with it. The alcohol is still in your system and making you feel alsorts of horrible feelings. It will get better as it leaves, for me alcohol left me anxious,emotional and depressed for a week after a bender. So expect you might feel a bit rubbish for the next few days, however wake up with pride in yourself that you went to bed sober.

Self care at this point is so important whilst you are mentally and phsyically fragile, and for me that was shutting myself away, eating well, drinking plenty and following my instincts in what I needed. I rested a lot. I needed to heal in so many ways and I needed time to do it.

Life can get so much better, I'm doing things I never thought I would, going places ive had on my bucket list for years. If I hadn't quit, I wouldn't be booking up the next adventure as we speak, I would be stuck in the cycle of drinking and self loathing. Break free!! Lots of luck to you, please stay with us!

Anna

I'm glad to hear you're getting through Day 3. It sounds like you are reversing your days and nights which, hopefully you can switch around. Getting out during the day and doing things would be a plus. Good job!