2muchpain

I just got a wake up call from a friend. I sent him a message telling him how disappointed I was not hearing from him in a while. Turns out he is going through some problems. He has been doing so well, I never thought that maybe he is dealing with his own problems. Turns out he is have some problems. Talk about being so damn self centered. It was all about me. I'm really angry with myself right now. I sent him a message telling him I'll be there if he needs me, but the damage is already done.
I've spent my life helping others through my work, but haven't done so good in my personal life. You'd think it would be the other way around. Maybe cause I don't expect any gratitude from the people I have helped with my work. Sounds great, but maybe I should extend that same feeling to people I know. I have helped people that I know without expecting anything in return, so maybe I'm being just being too hard on myself. Really don't like myself right now. John

JustTony

John,

Been there. Done that. Bought the T-Shirt and then wore it.

It's a fine line sometimes. I'm a very giving person and sometimes I feel like it is all one way traffic and I can sometimes express a little disappointment. Very rarely - but I have done. The alternative is to bottle it up, which can be unhealthy.

Of course - asking the question first always looks so obvious with hindsight - but we're not perfect are we?

Don't be too hard on yourself John. He could still have called you and said he needed a shoulder. It's not all on you mate.

Regards,

Tony

DarklingSong

My opinion.....you are definitely being too hard on yourself. You offered your support when you understood the situation with your friend. Nobody can do more than that- Unless they are clairvoyant!!