Long time reader, first time poster
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 30
Long time reader, first time poster
I'm a 35 year old female. I've had a alcohol problem for years, tried various things to quit, but never stick with it.
I stopped at a gas station (intoxicated) last night to pick up more alcohol. Something happened in the parking lot when I left, but I don't know what. I think I backed into a car and someone stopped me/I rolled down the window to talk to someone. No visible damage to my car. I kept waiting for the police to show up, but nothing happened. I checked all of the news sources to see if there were any reports, but nothing.
I obviously need serious help. I have a call in to my Dr. to discuss options. But what do I do about last night? I always get paranoid after a binge, but I don't know what is real memories or not anymore. Do I turn myself in somewhere? Do I wait? Would the police have come and talked to me by now?
My mind is racing and I am just a mess. Do others have experience in this - what did you do?
Any help is very appreciated. This is my last day 1.
I stopped at a gas station (intoxicated) last night to pick up more alcohol. Something happened in the parking lot when I left, but I don't know what. I think I backed into a car and someone stopped me/I rolled down the window to talk to someone. No visible damage to my car. I kept waiting for the police to show up, but nothing happened. I checked all of the news sources to see if there were any reports, but nothing.
I obviously need serious help. I have a call in to my Dr. to discuss options. But what do I do about last night? I always get paranoid after a binge, but I don't know what is real memories or not anymore. Do I turn myself in somewhere? Do I wait? Would the police have come and talked to me by now?
My mind is racing and I am just a mess. Do others have experience in this - what did you do?
Any help is very appreciated. This is my last day 1.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Sounds like a blackout.
Very good that you've decided this has to be the end...things will get much worse from here if you don't quit. Blackouts are really scary and dangerous.
Welcome to the site. Don't pick up a drink today. Whatever is going to happen will happen and drinking will just make it worse. Totally normal to have racing thoughts. Don't pick up a drink.
Very good that you've decided this has to be the end...things will get much worse from here if you don't quit. Blackouts are really scary and dangerous.
Welcome to the site. Don't pick up a drink today. Whatever is going to happen will happen and drinking will just make it worse. Totally normal to have racing thoughts. Don't pick up a drink.
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
I recommend that you focus your time and energy on your recovery. You do have a serious issue and it is fantastic that you recognize it. Use this experience as something that will get you on the road to recovery. Don't drink today and take positive actions toward addressing your addiction.
But, keep your potential legal issue separate and protect yourself. If you discover that something bad really did happen, consult with an attorney before you do anything. If someone contacts you, do not admit to anything and contact an attorney.
But, keep your potential legal issue separate and protect yourself. If you discover that something bad really did happen, consult with an attorney before you do anything. If someone contacts you, do not admit to anything and contact an attorney.
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Sounds like a blackout.
Very good that you've decided this has to be the end...things will get much worse from here if you don't quit. Blackouts are really scary and dangerous.
Welcome to the site. Don't pick up a drink today. Whatever is going to happen will happen and drinking will just make it worse. Totally normal to have racing thoughts. Don't pick up a drink.
Very good that you've decided this has to be the end...things will get much worse from here if you don't quit. Blackouts are really scary and dangerous.
Welcome to the site. Don't pick up a drink today. Whatever is going to happen will happen and drinking will just make it worse. Totally normal to have racing thoughts. Don't pick up a drink.
Listen to BiminiBlue.
DON'T pick up a drink.
Today is the day to start and get completely sober..
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Blackouts are horrible and dangerous, especially for women. I had blackouts near the end of my drinking days and it still scares me when I think of them. Things happen that you will never, ever remember. And, for me, the paranoia followed, too. You will never miss those things.
We are here to support you.
We are here to support you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 449
I'm still recovering from my recent blackouts too, it's quite traumatising having to deal with them afterwards especially when you remember small parts.
I woke up few nights ago with a bump on my head and bruises on my legs. I have no idea what happened. I've done so much embarrassing things whilst drunk, I still struggle to forgive myself for them.
Good luck with your drinking, and I hope after a few days of not drinking the panic dies down too.
I woke up few nights ago with a bump on my head and bruises on my legs. I have no idea what happened. I've done so much embarrassing things whilst drunk, I still struggle to forgive myself for them.
Good luck with your drinking, and I hope after a few days of not drinking the panic dies down too.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 425
I'm missing large blocks of my life because of blackouts. I daresay I'm probably better off not remembering some of the crap I did. I was so paranoid after the first few days that I called every police department in every town I've lived in - gave them my story and asked if there were warrants out for me. I wasn't one to engage in criminal behavior as a rule, but when you're drunk, all bets are off.
As for your incident last night, I'd let it go - work on the new you.
As for your incident last night, I'd let it go - work on the new you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 27
I was arrested in July 2016 and barely remember any of it. I was what you refer to as "super drunk". I blew a .23. Pretty impressive huh? After thousands of dollars in legal fees, losing my license for one year, one year of reporting probation, random alcohol testing, and a year of counseling, I STILL did not quit. My point is, THAT was your wake up call. It could have been tragic, but you probably squeaked by this time. Don't wait to quit. The next time you might not be so fortunate. I let a year and half go by before I have made up my mind to be done. I am sure this is my time. I feel for you!
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome WIwoman - this is the perfect place for you. We all understand what you're going through.
At the end of my drinking career, I began having incidents like that. Anything could have happened - I could have killed someone, ended up in jail for life. It's terrifying to think that we've allowed ourselves to be so vulnerable & put ourselves & others in jeopardy. It's such a relief to be free of it. You can do this - we will help.
At the end of my drinking career, I began having incidents like that. Anything could have happened - I could have killed someone, ended up in jail for life. It's terrifying to think that we've allowed ourselves to be so vulnerable & put ourselves & others in jeopardy. It's such a relief to be free of it. You can do this - we will help.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 30
Update
Thank you so much to everyone who answered on Jan. 2. It meant so much when my anxiety and paranoia were at an all time high. Nothing came of the incident. I was once again lucky, but I know the "luck" has run out and all my YETs are right there waiting for me if I pick up. Getting a real plan in place for once. Haven't posted much because I am gaining so much from reading. Thanks again, this site is a huge help.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
Lots of good advice on this thread, so I'm going to toss some more support in the ring for you!
You are not alone, so many of us have been in that very same spot where we just knew- THIS is the chance, right here, right now. Good for you taking it.
Stay sober, you can do it, and we are here if you feel you cannot. Always reach out before reaching for something that isn't good for you.
Onward!
You are not alone, so many of us have been in that very same spot where we just knew- THIS is the chance, right here, right now. Good for you taking it.
Stay sober, you can do it, and we are here if you feel you cannot. Always reach out before reaching for something that isn't good for you.
Onward!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Welcome WIwoman.
From Viking, "You are not alone, so many of us have been in that very same spot where we just knew- THIS is the chance, right here, right now." This was me 21 days ago. I had been anonymously browsing SR while still drinking. One evening I just knew I had had enough and dumped all my beer out. I wasn't really drunk or sick, I just knew that it was my chance and I better take it. You can do this!
From Viking, "You are not alone, so many of us have been in that very same spot where we just knew- THIS is the chance, right here, right now." This was me 21 days ago. I had been anonymously browsing SR while still drinking. One evening I just knew I had had enough and dumped all my beer out. I wasn't really drunk or sick, I just knew that it was my chance and I better take it. You can do this!
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