sobersolstice

Thanks for sticking around for all of my ups and downs Fam... I talked to my parents about this, and they told me to just drink until the booze tastes bad, and they used to drink more than I did; I digress, but thank you, as my support friend group left.

I'm definitely a all or nothing person. I'm upset with myself for not getting up at 4am in the dark and not running a 5 min mile in the snow at 18deg. F. I remember when I was younger, and drinking more; I got a membership at a gym across my place, and because I worked out everyday, I would unintentionally cut back to 1-2 beers at dinner. I understand exercise and eating healthy isn't a recovery method, but I'm convinced it accelerates the physical healing process, as well as the recovery process. Mental health as well. I've let my mental faculties atrophy a bit, and made it a goal to finish a 500pg book yesterday but kept falling asleep. My brain needs a break from the sugars of alcohol. I feel exercise also promotes healthier thinking and mood.

I messed up the eating part last time. I was so accustomed to drinking enough to where I had no appetite during the day. This is a pattern, but I turn into a ridiculous coffee drinker after a few weeks. I'll literally drink coffee (10-20cups) until 3-4pm, then finally eat a meal. I felt worse than when I was drinking. This is the toughest part, but I feel i need to plan and regiment a meal plan. Exercise is something I just do when sober, so I'm not too worried about that bit.

I need to structure my eating so that my blood glucose levels don't pump and dump, causing cravings. I hope I'm not pre-diabetic.