Need advice--feeling triggered--sleep issues
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
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Need advice--feeling triggered--sleep issues
I'm not new here but feeling very triggered to drink right now. I'm 5 weeks sober and still having sleep issues--not insomnia though, I'm sleeping a lot and so hard that I can not wake up to my alarms. This morning I was supposed to tutor online at 8am. Had alarms set for 6am and 7am. Did not hear either one. My boss apparently called and texted me 20 times but I slept right through it all even though my phone was right next to me! I feel horrible that I was not there to work but I am sober and doing all the right things so I'm very frustrated. Plus my boss will not understand if I tell her the truth. Not sure what to do there, probably lost that job. It was only a side gig so in some ways I'm ok with that because I already work full-time teaching plus teach night school twice a week.
Feeling triggered to drink because I keep thinking about how I was sober and still missed work and when I was drinking I would feel awful but was always able to get to work on time. I know drinking won't help. I know it will make things worse. Just struggling and need support. Plus I still need to talk to my boss and my student.
Anyone have similar experiences sober?
Feeling triggered to drink because I keep thinking about how I was sober and still missed work and when I was drinking I would feel awful but was always able to get to work on time. I know drinking won't help. I know it will make things worse. Just struggling and need support. Plus I still need to talk to my boss and my student.
Anyone have similar experiences sober?
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Hi there, sorry to hear you're struggling.
Funnily enough I sleep so much more sober too. I used to get up much more easily when drinking, but with a nasty hangover & really not at my best. If I'm honest, it sounds like you are working too much? I think our bodies just need time & care to heal & adjust and so we need to do what we can.
I'm afraid I don't have any more helpful suggestions as I'm in a similar situation!! I do know one thing though, don't drink!!
Hopefully others will be along soon to give us some advice! Xx
Funnily enough I sleep so much more sober too. I used to get up much more easily when drinking, but with a nasty hangover & really not at my best. If I'm honest, it sounds like you are working too much? I think our bodies just need time & care to heal & adjust and so we need to do what we can.
I'm afraid I don't have any more helpful suggestions as I'm in a similar situation!! I do know one thing though, don't drink!!
Hopefully others will be along soon to give us some advice! Xx
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Are you taking something to help you sleep? I can't imagine having all that go on (alarms/phone calls) and not hearing them.
If you are taking something to help you sleep, that could be your problem.
No idea otherwise. I hope all works out with the job and you get it figured out. Just be honest with them - you didn't hear the calls or the alarm, and you don't know why. Definitely call and talk with them , though. The fear of the "what ifs" is threatening your sobriety. I'm sure it will be fine!
If you are taking something to help you sleep, that could be your problem.
No idea otherwise. I hope all works out with the job and you get it figured out. Just be honest with them - you didn't hear the calls or the alarm, and you don't know why. Definitely call and talk with them , though. The fear of the "what ifs" is threatening your sobriety. I'm sure it will be fine!
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That sounds like a lot to sleep through, unless you are on some kind of medication that is affecting your sleep.
It might be a good idea to talk to your doctor about this.
You know that drinking is not the answer to this problem.
It might be a good idea to talk to your doctor about this.
You know that drinking is not the answer to this problem.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
I would get yourself into a solid routine of going to bed and waking up at the same time every day. Even if you are feeling like crap, get up and go.
Guzzle some coffee, maybe an energy drink, but hell no to the booze!
Guzzle some coffee, maybe an energy drink, but hell no to the booze!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi Grateful
I was exhausted for a while after I quit...I had to have naps in the day etc...
things got better with time tho.
It may not even be addiction related of course
If this is significantly impacting your life - and it seems like it is - maybe seeing your Dr might help?
Drinking will simply bring back all the old problems - and may not change this one.
D
I was exhausted for a while after I quit...I had to have naps in the day etc...
things got better with time tho.
It may not even be addiction related of course
If this is significantly impacting your life - and it seems like it is - maybe seeing your Dr might help?
Drinking will simply bring back all the old problems - and may not change this one.
D
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
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Thanks for the replies. Just being able to talk about it helps.
I'm 5 weeks sober and not taking any medication. That is why I'm frustrated and confused about not being able to wake up. I do suffer from depression and have my whole life, before I even started drinking and while sober so my sleep issues may be affected by that.
JJ I appreciate very much what you said. I do tend to take o. Too much work...need more balance in my life. I'm a single mom so just find it hard to turn down work. I'm the sole supporter of myself and my children, including paying college tuition for my daughter.
I know I should just tell them that I overslept but I feel like it sounds like I was irresponsible and/or hungover but I had no alcohol and no meds! That is why I'm feeling so triggered. Feeling like what's the point of staying sober if I still have these consequences. I have had an incredibly productive evening since then but my thoughts are still distorted right now.
I'm 5 weeks sober and not taking any medication. That is why I'm frustrated and confused about not being able to wake up. I do suffer from depression and have my whole life, before I even started drinking and while sober so my sleep issues may be affected by that.
JJ I appreciate very much what you said. I do tend to take o. Too much work...need more balance in my life. I'm a single mom so just find it hard to turn down work. I'm the sole supporter of myself and my children, including paying college tuition for my daughter.
I know I should just tell them that I overslept but I feel like it sounds like I was irresponsible and/or hungover but I had no alcohol and no meds! That is why I'm feeling so triggered. Feeling like what's the point of staying sober if I still have these consequences. I have had an incredibly productive evening since then but my thoughts are still distorted right now.
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Also, I currently do not have health insurance so can not see a doctor even though I desperately need to for depression and physical checkup.
I will be covered in January. Just need to make it through the next few days .
I will be covered in January. Just need to make it through the next few days .
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Exactly why I'm aftaid to tell my boss the truth.
I was sober and zero medication but still slept through my multiple alarms. Most people won't believe me. So why should I bother staying sober?
I was sober and zero medication but still slept through my multiple alarms. Most people won't believe me. So why should I bother staying sober?
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Are you taking something to help you sleep? I can't imagine having all that go on (alarms/phone calls) and not hearing them.
If you are taking something to help you sleep, that could be your problem.
No idea otherwise. I hope all works out with the job and you get it figured out. Just be honest with them - you didn't hear the calls or the alarm, and you don't know why. Definitely call and talk with them , though. The fear of the "what ifs" is threatening your sobriety. I'm sure it will be fine!
If you are taking something to help you sleep, that could be your problem.
No idea otherwise. I hope all works out with the job and you get it figured out. Just be honest with them - you didn't hear the calls or the alarm, and you don't know why. Definitely call and talk with them , though. The fear of the "what ifs" is threatening your sobriety. I'm sure it will be fine!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by Grateful11
Exactly why I'm aftaid to tell my boss the truth.
I was sober and zero medication but still slept through my multiple alarms. Most people won't believe me. So why should I bother staying sober?
I was sober and zero medication but still slept through my multiple alarms. Most people won't believe me. So why should I bother staying sober?
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
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every time I have sobered up without the help of sleep medication, I go through periods of tremendous exhaustion where I could sleep round the clock after days of horrendous insomnia dotted by the brief vivid dreams or night mares. Then after words the insomnia would return.
I needed to see a dr to stabilize my anxiety and I committed as much as I could to regular healthy meals, a ton of water, and daily exercise. I still went to bed exhausted and slept deeply for a long time.
Our bodies need time to heal. I don't know if it would help to explain that you have been sick- you have been. I was very fortunate- I had a wonderful GP who would write me off work through my struggles and facilitate my rehabilitation and recuperation.
I wish you the best. Treat yourself kindly, be as honest as you can without laying yourself bare. People can be pretty understanding if you open up a bit.
Also, if you slog through it long enough, your stamina will build up over time. Treat yourself with kid gloves for now if you need to; do NOT let any of this give yourself a reason to drink.
You are doing GREAT. (Great often stinks sometimes; that will get better too)
I needed to see a dr to stabilize my anxiety and I committed as much as I could to regular healthy meals, a ton of water, and daily exercise. I still went to bed exhausted and slept deeply for a long time.
Our bodies need time to heal. I don't know if it would help to explain that you have been sick- you have been. I was very fortunate- I had a wonderful GP who would write me off work through my struggles and facilitate my rehabilitation and recuperation.
I wish you the best. Treat yourself kindly, be as honest as you can without laying yourself bare. People can be pretty understanding if you open up a bit.
Also, if you slog through it long enough, your stamina will build up over time. Treat yourself with kid gloves for now if you need to; do NOT let any of this give yourself a reason to drink.
You are doing GREAT. (Great often stinks sometimes; that will get better too)
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Noone here is doubting your story I don't think Grateful
I suggested the Dr because that to me the the obvious way out here - locate the problem and try and fix it. Whether or not you would need meds would be up to your doctors opinion and your say so.
If you're depressed there may be a connection there with the extreme sleepiness?
If the Dr is not an option because of money I'm sorry about that. Maybe there's a free or low cost clinic near you?
D
I suggested the Dr because that to me the the obvious way out here - locate the problem and try and fix it. Whether or not you would need meds would be up to your doctors opinion and your say so.
If you're depressed there may be a connection there with the extreme sleepiness?
If the Dr is not an option because of money I'm sorry about that. Maybe there's a free or low cost clinic near you?
D
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
You know, when I finally got sober one of the things I finally did was get my hearing tested when I went to the docs for something else (partner had been moaning for 20 odd years that he thought I was deaf).
Doc did tests and sent me to audioligy at the hospital. Turns out I only ever had 50% hearing lol. (Well, 51% in one ear and 49% in the other) and I'd been through school, work, socialising etc, just getting by. And laying down is the time I really hear the worst for some reason. Might be worth getting those lugs of yours checked out if you're struggling to hear alarms etc. We can do that kind of stuff sober you know. Alternatively it might just be earky-recovery exhaustion. And it IS exhausting. All that washing-machine head. It's a struggle to do even the simplest of tasks.
As far as oversleeping goes, you know it's one of those thing that just happens from time to time. Even to normies. I suggest that you stop catastrophising the event, apologise to your boss and reassure them of steps you're taking to try to ensure it never happens again.
Remember, it's one thing staying sober but recovery work is key, because that's what teaches us how to deal with life on life's terms. When the poop hits the blower. When other people screw up. When we screw up. Because just because we get sober it doesn't mean we get to live a charmed life. Poop still happens. And we need to have better ways of dealing than drinking if we're going to have a healthy, happy sobriety.
You overslept. You need to apologise and find some way of making sure it doesn't happen again any time soon. This isn't the end of the world. Sure, you can treat it as an excuse to relapse. But an excuse is what it will be. And frankly we can always find something or another to use to rationalise our drinking.
How you feel now, at 5 weeks sober is NOT as good as sobriety gets. This is a transitionary phase, and not a very nice one. Stick with it, work on your recovery and things will get better. OR go back to drinking and carry on with more of the same old poop and gradually get worse and worse, as well you know. It's up to each of us to make that decision.
BB
Doc did tests and sent me to audioligy at the hospital. Turns out I only ever had 50% hearing lol. (Well, 51% in one ear and 49% in the other) and I'd been through school, work, socialising etc, just getting by. And laying down is the time I really hear the worst for some reason. Might be worth getting those lugs of yours checked out if you're struggling to hear alarms etc. We can do that kind of stuff sober you know. Alternatively it might just be earky-recovery exhaustion. And it IS exhausting. All that washing-machine head. It's a struggle to do even the simplest of tasks.
As far as oversleeping goes, you know it's one of those thing that just happens from time to time. Even to normies. I suggest that you stop catastrophising the event, apologise to your boss and reassure them of steps you're taking to try to ensure it never happens again.
Remember, it's one thing staying sober but recovery work is key, because that's what teaches us how to deal with life on life's terms. When the poop hits the blower. When other people screw up. When we screw up. Because just because we get sober it doesn't mean we get to live a charmed life. Poop still happens. And we need to have better ways of dealing than drinking if we're going to have a healthy, happy sobriety.
You overslept. You need to apologise and find some way of making sure it doesn't happen again any time soon. This isn't the end of the world. Sure, you can treat it as an excuse to relapse. But an excuse is what it will be. And frankly we can always find something or another to use to rationalise our drinking.
How you feel now, at 5 weeks sober is NOT as good as sobriety gets. This is a transitionary phase, and not a very nice one. Stick with it, work on your recovery and things will get better. OR go back to drinking and carry on with more of the same old poop and gradually get worse and worse, as well you know. It's up to each of us to make that decision.
BB
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
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Grateful, do you think perhaps it's time to review your recovery plan, and challenge yoyrself to add some things to it that you haven't been willing to do before? I have no idea what this might be as I can't see any clues as to what you've already tried on your past posts (apart from the support threads here obviously).
Why not read through the making a plan links on Dees thread and make a list of ideas, then sort these into columns - Tried / Willing to try now/ Maybe if it gets worse /Never.
If there are more things in the last two columns than the first perhaps you'll spot the issue. Willingness to take action and change is pretty key if we want our lives and experiences to change, along with the acceptance that sometimes recovery will be hard work and feel a bit crap at times. People going through chemo for cancer might easily think what's the point of doing this if I'm gonna feel like poop anyway - but they keep going because they set their sights and hope in the longer term rather than expect instant results. You know how many bottles Coca-Cola sold in their first year? On average it was nine glasses a day. Just think how different things would have been if John Pemberton just gave up after 5 weeks!
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-plans-1.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
I hope you decide to add some things into your recovery plan, set your sights on the long-term goal, and stick with it.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery whatever you decide.
BB
Why not read through the making a plan links on Dees thread and make a list of ideas, then sort these into columns - Tried / Willing to try now/ Maybe if it gets worse /Never.
If there are more things in the last two columns than the first perhaps you'll spot the issue. Willingness to take action and change is pretty key if we want our lives and experiences to change, along with the acceptance that sometimes recovery will be hard work and feel a bit crap at times. People going through chemo for cancer might easily think what's the point of doing this if I'm gonna feel like poop anyway - but they keep going because they set their sights and hope in the longer term rather than expect instant results. You know how many bottles Coca-Cola sold in their first year? On average it was nine glasses a day. Just think how different things would have been if John Pemberton just gave up after 5 weeks!
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-plans-1.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
I hope you decide to add some things into your recovery plan, set your sights on the long-term goal, and stick with it.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery whatever you decide.
BB
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
It's so hard when you are working so much and depressed.
I'm the sole wage earner in my family too, and I've been taking on
extra work for years now instead of resting or taking any vacation,
and working beyond full time.
It drains you terribly, and makes staying sober tough at times.
But I do know that drinking would make things much much worse
mentally, physically, and emotionally very fast for me, so I don't
let my inner voice talk me into it, much as it tries.
Wishing you peace and healing and a better 2018
I'm the sole wage earner in my family too, and I've been taking on
extra work for years now instead of resting or taking any vacation,
and working beyond full time.
It drains you terribly, and makes staying sober tough at times.
But I do know that drinking would make things much much worse
mentally, physically, and emotionally very fast for me, so I don't
let my inner voice talk me into it, much as it tries.
Wishing you peace and healing and a better 2018
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