New to this site
 

Hey. My name is Elizabeth and I'm gonna be 30 in a few months.

I didn't know where else to go so I came here

I started drinking at 18 when my brother passed away in Iraq. I've had several moments of soberity, but never a long time being totally sober.

At the age of 19 (in 2007), just a few months after I started drinking I had my first OD where I had to be incubated. I remember waking up taking the breathing tube down my throat. It was scary as hell, but that didn't stop me.

Two years later in 2009 I ODed on Adderall and I've had various mental health issues because of it.

I didn't know where to go.

I have been drinking a bit lately and I'm scared I may be falling back into bad habits, but I'm good at rationalizing

I keep saying "Well I drink this type of beer" or "I only drink at night," etc.

I know it's not as bad as it's been, but I'm scared I could fall into old patterns again and I just needed support.

luckily my two ODs in 2007 and 2009 where the only ones I had.. at least ones that I got hospitalized for. I'm lucky to be alive.

I'm a college student (after not going for nearly 7 years), just started working after 8 years, and have an amazing fiance.

I feel like maybe I'm making a big deal out of things, but I've been to OP at least three times and rehab once with 2 ODs requiring hospitalization.. that can't be good.

If any of you have kind words or advice that'd be nice.

Thanks!

Hi and welcome Eisley :)

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad you've found us though - this is a place of great support :)

D

Welcome Eisley,

Sorry to hear of your struggle. There is hope and a solution. You've come to a good place to start your journey.

Your post made me think of chapter 3 of the Alcoholics Anonymous book. If you have the AA book, read that chapter and see if you can identify with it.

Many prayers

I'm sorry for your loss also:

Kind words:

• You're still so young. Your whole life is ahead of you
• You have a fiance that you describe as amazing
• You want to get better
• You're not alone - we all suffer from addiction issues on here
• You're welcome and needed here. The more of us that group together the stronger we are.

Hello Eisley, Welcome to SR. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your brother.

You're smart to recognize your habits and patterns and do something now while you're still at the "just a bit" stage.

"...OP at least three times and rehab once with 2 ODs requiring hospitalization" this is a big deal. Take steps now to make sure that doesn't happen again.

A new job, school and a fiance - you have a bright, exciting future right in front of you. While fun and positive, these can be stressful, too. Don't let alcohol or drugs be your stress reliever. You'll enjoy your adventures much more if you're sober.
This is a great place to start and get support. It has helped me be sober for nearly three years. Let us know how you're doing.

Hi Elizabeth. It's good to meet you. I'm really sorry for your loss too. That must have been so hard.

It sounds like you have loads of positive things in your life in the run up to turning 30. You'll find some great support here. Gabe x