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Agitated and Craving to NUMB out and relax.

Old 12-29-2017, 11:55 AM
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Agitated and Craving to NUMB out and relax.

Hey guys,
Iíve been feeling agitated today. Iíve decided to move in with my girlfriend and got a note from my current landlord that she would like to start showing my place. I think when I saw that It hit me that Iíll be moving out in a month and I just have some fear over it. 1) I live in this awesome cabin in the woods and itís everything that I wanted in a place to live and Iím bummed I have to give it up. 2) The last time I moved in with a girlfriend was about 10 years ago and it didnít end great. Although I was drinking at the time and believe that contributed to the situation crashing and burning I am a little learly because Iím giving up a living situation that I really love to move to the city. Iím worried that Iím not going to be happy there but Iím making the move because I feel like itís the next step for my girlfriend and I. Sheís like no one Iíve ever met and I really care about her. A part of me is pissed though because I feel like Iím trading a relationship with her for my cabin. Which sounds insane but I know deep down it will work out in the end.
My sponsor is bugging me lately. I feel like heís a little needy and codependent and I donít want to put up with his bs. Honestly lately Iíve been tired of working the program. Iím currently on the 8th step and have been doing a pretty good job of working through the steps. Also, I think Iím getting bored of the noon meeting Iíve been going to. Same people..same thing. I think this is a type of change Iím looking for. Does anyone get the stale feeling of a meeting theyíve been going to for awhile?
Well thanks for listening to my ramble.
Garrison
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Old 12-29-2017, 11:59 AM
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Man, that's a lot going on. Good thing it's not the holidays at the same time.

What do you do to blow off a little stress these days?
You should go do that.
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Old 12-29-2017, 12:01 PM
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Hey Nonsensical,
Thanks for your email. I think i just needed confirmation that ALOT is going on..lol. Holy ####. Anywho i usually going hiking which i haven't been doing alot of lately. I'm heading out with my g/f this afternoon. I know that i'll feel at least a little better.
Thanks!
Garrison
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Old 12-29-2017, 12:06 PM
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Hiking in Boulder?
Sounds horrible!
[/jealous sarcasm]
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Old 12-29-2017, 12:16 PM
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I hear you on the 'stale' meetings. I don't work the steps with a sponsor for the exact reason you're getting irritated at yours. I do try and implement the steps and am honest about my "crap" in front of the whole group, but I do get tired of the same 'speeches' some old timers give at every meeting. I mean literally the exact same speech,verbatim, from when I first started going over a year ago. It reminds me of my drinking days and the groundhog day feeling. I don't go that often anymore and this may be why.. I am also feeling really solid in my sobriety could be another reason.

The moving thing... well..I'll let you figure that one out as I'm in a relationships suck phase currently.
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Old 12-29-2017, 12:23 PM
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Was there ever discussion about your girlfriend moving into the cabin in the woods with you?

I hope this works out well for you and that you will be happy in the city once you get settled with your girlfriend.
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Old 12-29-2017, 12:54 PM
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are you feeling pressured to move in with the GF? i can hear what sounds like pre-regret in your post.....regret breeds resentments....and resentments are super dangerous for addicts/alcoholics!!!! if you aren't ready, you aren't ready....if you don't wanna, you don't have to.
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Old 12-29-2017, 02:02 PM
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Hi comtnman740

make some time for yourself to relax and decompress - maybe give some thought to whether moving out is what you really want?

You might find your sponsor and the steps aren't really bugging you as much as other things (maybe fear or a misguided sense of duty to your gf) are?

D
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