PalmerSage

I posted about my tendencies to stress out whenever I'm entertaining, worrying about how my house looks, is it clean and decorated, etc. As I was waiting for my guests to arrive yesterday, I felt overwhelming tension and thought about "releasing it" with a drink (which always turns into a bunch of drinks, obviously). I worked through the urges, but later I had more cravings. Again, I was able to "play the tape through" and remind myself that it would open up a door to insatiable craving, etc. I enjoyed my Diet Coke while everyone else drank wine with dinner, and went to bed sober.

I'm posting this because I'm only on day 12, and it helps to type it out. I think that next time, I need to post DURING these cravings, because there is alcohol in my house and I really don't want to tempt fate without a full arsenal of sobriety tools.

I'm working on a plan and strategies to try instead of drinking, but any additional insight is always appreciated. Thanks all.

biminiblue

Is there a way to make your house alcohol-free for a while? Or if someone in your house drinks, could he/she take the alcohol and put it somewhere - in a car, locked cabinet, or somewhere?

In time this will be easier, but maybe you don't need to be alone with alcohol in the house in early days.

I was stubborn and purposely put myself in drinking situations in early days to PROVE I could do it, and I made it - but I don't know if this is workable for everyone (?)

thomas11

Good job on avoiding a relapse. I used to post on this forum when I had the urge to drink and just waited for the responses to come in. The good people here always convinced me drinking was NOT the answer.

PalmerSage

Thanks guys. Bimini, at some point I think it would be feasible to lock up the alcohol. Most of it is in the bottom floor of a 4-story house, so not in my face, but having that option completely off the table would probably be a good idea. There was a beer in the garage, though...and I was acutely aware of it.

tekink

Honestly I have to avoid things like entertaining people and being around situations where people are drinking. It's way to stressful for me to handle.

biminiblue

I lost a lot of weight and that is/was much harder for me than quitting drinking - food is everywhere.

I had to come up with a rule. "That's not mine," is what I came up with. Even if it is an item in a common area, I just say that to myself. If I didn't buy it, it's not mine.

THEN I had to stop buying cookies. That was harder than it sounds. And it's not just cookies!!

Anna

I'm glad you're getting through this.

Day 12 is fantastic, and it really will get easier.

DontRemember

I also use the "it's not mine" rule. When I first got serious about quitting I had to go with the 'no booze in my house' rule for the 1st few months and actually became a hermit for a few weeks. Now I have a stocked bar for entertaining and I'm ok with it. I couldn't keep a stock when I was drinking,someone kept drinking it all?hmmm... I almost drank before Xmas while gearing up for my holiday party as well and came here instead of going to buy a bottle,because the booze in my bar is "not mine." Glad you made it through the cravings.

PalmerSage

"That's not mine." I love it!!! Funny you should mention cookies Bimini, I just scarfed down two in no time. Dealing with my weight gain is next on the list!

I would actually love to become a hermit temporarily, but it's just not feasible. In the past when I've tried to stop drinking, I feel like I made it my partner's problem, constantly talking about it and asking for support. But you know what? They didn't get it, and having unmet expectations that they would actually made things worse ("seeee? No one understands me, that's why I drink!") I'm trying something different now, and trying to pick my battles about the things I absolutely won't do. And actually, my biggest trigger is being alone in my house, so connecting with people and getting out and about is probably a good thing, even though I would almost always opt for isolation.

Dee74

I'm really glad you worked through it PalmerSage

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Nonsensical

How delightful it is to read the words of someone who is committed to getting sober.

SnazzyDresser

It's great how analytic you're being. That kind of thought and effort bodes well for your sobriety, PalmerSage. Good going on your 12 days!

D122y

Palm,

I remember that at 12 days I was still deeply addicted.

It was the worst. I didn't find SR until I was 80 days clean.

I am pretty sure there was some really deep correcting going on because I am still troubled at times dealing with the real world sober.

This is my 3rd sober holiday and it still doesn't feel comfortable. I search for obsessions. I have to constantly remind myself how lucky I am to be sober and healthy.

The years of self medicating have left me poorly equipped to manage stressful issues.

But, I can feel myself getting stronger by the moment. Definitely a great reason to not back slide.

Thanks.

PalmerSage

Thank you so much. everyone! I really am trying my best, and thinking and planning as much as I can to avoid the "deprivation" mindset (always my undoing in the past). I went out with a family member last night, who ordered wine with dinner, and I actually found myself feeling grateful that I could have fun while drinking club soda. This is a small turning point in my mind: One drink for a normal person is simply a drink, but one drink for me is the beginning of a cycle of craving, restlessness, mental obsession, etc. "Not mine." Day 13.

Strugglingtoget

PalmerSage

Yesterday was a tough one, I got into an argument with my partner about the disorganization in our house. It's typical post-holiday stuff, but escalated quickly. My normal response would be to retreat and drink, simmering with resentment. However, this time I announced that I was going to run some errands and despite the bad response I got, off I went for a cooling-off period. Later that evening, I came home and things were calmer, resulting in a fairly enjoyable evening.

I am starting to understand that I have to make some uncomfortable choices to protect my sobriety, and not everyone will be happy, and it's OK.

tiredwoman

I know all about those temptations. I have found leaning on my family and keeping myself busy helps. Sometimes I feel counter-productive when I seek a high from things like working out or music or watching sports - all things that can give you a rush. But it helps me.

Stay strong. x

Dee74

Thats a great realisation to have PS

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