It all goes wrong when I feel better.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: London
Posts: 9
It all goes wrong when I feel better.
I am 49 years old and I have drank alcohol on an almost daily basis since my teenage years, I have been diagnosed with alcohol cardiomyopathy a disease of the heart. For some time now I have tried to stop drinking alcohol, I stop for a few days and begin to feel better, at this point I begin to drink again? Has anyone come across this situation and if so how do I get past this stage??
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
If you mean the medical condition of the heart then I and suspect many on here will not have experience of that - maybe a few will.
If you mean returning to drink when feelings improve then 100% of people here will identify with that. We kept returning to drink until we decided that we wouldn't.
Do you want to quit drinking? If you REALLY want to quit you can.
Welcome to SR
If you mean returning to drink when feelings improve then 100% of people here will identify with that. We kept returning to drink until we decided that we wouldn't.
Do you want to quit drinking? If you REALLY want to quit you can.
Welcome to SR
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I will admit I used to be a daily drinker, then I thought I'd cut back by only drinking on the weekends. So I'd start the week feeling like crap and by the end of the week I'd feel great. I would then drink to excess and start the cycle again. So yes, I can relate to your situation. I did this for about 4-5 years. I don't count days but 26 months ago I quit altogether and it was the smartest thing I've done.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,469
Welcome.
It sounds like a life without alcohol, or death with a life of alcohol.
You're worth living a beautiful life, if you think about it you could very well have another 30 amazing year's if you take care of yourself! 49 isn't old, life can still be wonderful.
It sounds like a life without alcohol, or death with a life of alcohol.
You're worth living a beautiful life, if you think about it you could very well have another 30 amazing year's if you take care of yourself! 49 isn't old, life can still be wonderful.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
I think most all of us went around the hamster wheel of drinking, swearing we'd never do it again, then a couple days later once the feeling like hell passed, it's right back to the booze, rinse and repeat.
With having a pretty serious medical condition and still continuing to drink, I would look into getting yourself into a rehab center or another intensive alcohol treatment program. Your life literally is riding on it,..
With having a pretty serious medical condition and still continuing to drink, I would look into getting yourself into a rehab center or another intensive alcohol treatment program. Your life literally is riding on it,..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Sorry to here about your health troubles. The quitting - relapse cycle is common. I did it for years. If you want to stop you can. Stay close to SR, read around. It takes effort but the long time members here on SR prove it can be done.
Support to you.
Support to you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,429
What do you do differently to improve your ability to succeed between each failed attempt?
For a long time I would just "try to quit" but not change anything when it didn't work.
Guess what--it didn't work
That's where I would put my attention--make a plan, adjust the plan,
and get plenty of outside support.
You can do this--you do have to be all in, however. . .
For a long time I would just "try to quit" but not change anything when it didn't work.
Guess what--it didn't work
That's where I would put my attention--make a plan, adjust the plan,
and get plenty of outside support.
You can do this--you do have to be all in, however. . .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: London
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by decchemist 
I also see I should have said welcome back to SR.
Did you manage to give up for 90 days back in Jan 2013?
Did you manage to give up for 90 days back in Jan 2013?
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
I agree that you need to commit to sobriety, for your health. I hope that you can accept that you can never drink again. You can get past the point of feeling better and drinking, by stepping out of the vicious cycle. You can do this!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: London
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
What do you do differently to improve your ability to succeed between each failed attempt?
For a long time I would just "try to quit" but not change anything when it didn't work.
Guess what--it didn't work
That's where I would put my attention--make a plan, adjust the plan,
and get plenty of outside support.
You can do this--you do have to be all in, however. . .
For a long time I would just "try to quit" but not change anything when it didn't work.
Guess what--it didn't work
That's where I would put my attention--make a plan, adjust the plan,
and get plenty of outside support.
You can do this--you do have to be all in, however. . .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: London
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by Anna
I agree that you need to commit to sobriety, for your health. I hope that you can accept that you can never drink again. You can get past the point of feeling better and drinking, by stepping out of the vicious cycle. You can do this!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: London
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by DarklingSong
Sorry to here about your health troubles. The quitting - relapse cycle is common. I did it for years. If you want to stop you can. Stay close to SR, read around. It takes effort but the long time members here on SR prove it can be done.
Support to you.
Support to you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
It seems like your life depends on quitting.
The conversation with your mind, "can I drink tonight?" - "no", "but I feel better" - "still no" , "but....." - "still no".
I'm not saying it is easy, it takes real work and determination. I tried to quit, tried to moderate then finally enough was enough, the conversation is always as above.
You can do it. Stick with us on here. Take care.
The conversation with your mind, "can I drink tonight?" - "no", "but I feel better" - "still no" , "but....." - "still no".
I'm not saying it is easy, it takes real work and determination. I tried to quit, tried to moderate then finally enough was enough, the conversation is always as above.
You can do it. Stick with us on here. Take care.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
I'm an alcoholic with only 26 days sober - so I know very little about recovery.
But I do know that I am a terrible coward when it comes to the thought of death. We've all dabbled with dark thoughts at one time or another (especially when drunk and feeling sorry for ourselves). But when faced with the stark reality that our heart might just stop one day due to our own self abuse - well boy oh boy I wouldn't need any plan for that at all. Me and Mr Alcohol would never speak again - and that's a fact.
And I'm a three bottles of wine, every night, alcoholic..
Not judging AT ALL. Just saying.
You only have ONE life. This isn't a trial run. Stop or die.
Wishing you 100% clarity and the power to stay sober that follows it.
JT
But I do know that I am a terrible coward when it comes to the thought of death. We've all dabbled with dark thoughts at one time or another (especially when drunk and feeling sorry for ourselves). But when faced with the stark reality that our heart might just stop one day due to our own self abuse - well boy oh boy I wouldn't need any plan for that at all. Me and Mr Alcohol would never speak again - and that's a fact.
And I'm a three bottles of wine, every night, alcoholic..
Not judging AT ALL. Just saying.
You only have ONE life. This isn't a trial run. Stop or die.
Wishing you 100% clarity and the power to stay sober that follows it.
JT
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Emptyglass welcome to SR and just to add some positivity and hope I believe that finding this wonderful site saved my life. Truly.
I drank daily for years and in April 2016 I joined SR. I was utterly broken and so lonely. The connection to other alcoholics and the kind words were a godsend. That being said my "attempts" to get sober resulted in a pattern much like yours I suspect. Off and on binge relapse for a year. Problem was this reeked havoc with my health, I started getting worsening withdrawal and experiencing kindling (please look it up here if you're unfamiliar). I got sick to the point I couldn't physically stomach alcohol any more. Then came the most frightening experience of my life being stopping cold turkey and a full 7 days of withdrawal. I thought I would die if I allowed myself to sleep. Horrible.
Then I submitted to this deadly condition/disease. I was utterly beaten and there was only one answer. Stop and stop for good.
It's not easy I'm not going to cherry coat it for you but it can absolutely can be done. Nobody here is "special" it just starts with one day then another then another.
You must make that commitment to yourself. No alcohol will pass your lips ever again. Not one sip. Ever. Anything else you get done in a day is a bonus at first but just get your head on that pillow sober each night and the day is a success.
Please use this wonderful site. Read, post, learn.
Soak yourself in recovery material, watch YouTube documentaries, check out the crash course on rational recovery online, try AA (call a helpline if you're too nervous to just go alone)........basically anything and everything. You are saving your life and that is the bottom line.
I look forward to seeing more of you around here. Take care xxx
I drank daily for years and in April 2016 I joined SR. I was utterly broken and so lonely. The connection to other alcoholics and the kind words were a godsend. That being said my "attempts" to get sober resulted in a pattern much like yours I suspect. Off and on binge relapse for a year. Problem was this reeked havoc with my health, I started getting worsening withdrawal and experiencing kindling (please look it up here if you're unfamiliar). I got sick to the point I couldn't physically stomach alcohol any more. Then came the most frightening experience of my life being stopping cold turkey and a full 7 days of withdrawal. I thought I would die if I allowed myself to sleep. Horrible.
Then I submitted to this deadly condition/disease. I was utterly beaten and there was only one answer. Stop and stop for good.
It's not easy I'm not going to cherry coat it for you but it can absolutely can be done. Nobody here is "special" it just starts with one day then another then another.
You must make that commitment to yourself. No alcohol will pass your lips ever again. Not one sip. Ever. Anything else you get done in a day is a bonus at first but just get your head on that pillow sober each night and the day is a success.
Please use this wonderful site. Read, post, learn.
Soak yourself in recovery material, watch YouTube documentaries, check out the crash course on rational recovery online, try AA (call a helpline if you're too nervous to just go alone)........basically anything and everything. You are saving your life and that is the bottom line.
I look forward to seeing more of you around here. Take care xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Originally Posted by JustTony
I'm an alcoholic with only 26 days sober - so I know very little about recovery.
But I do know that I am a terrible coward when it comes to the thought of death. We've all dabbled with dark thoughts at one time or another (especially when drunk and feeling sorry for ourselves). But when faced with the stark reality that our heart might just stop one day due to our own self abuse - well boy oh boy I wouldn't need any plan for that at all. Me and Mr Alcohol would never speak again - and that's a fact.
And I'm a three bottles of wine, every night, alcoholic..
Not judging AT ALL. Just saying.
You only have ONE life. This isn't a trial run. Stop or die.
Wishing you 100% clarity and he power to stay sober that follows it.
JT
But I do know that I am a terrible coward when it comes to the thought of death. We've all dabbled with dark thoughts at one time or another (especially when drunk and feeling sorry for ourselves). But when faced with the stark reality that our heart might just stop one day due to our own self abuse - well boy oh boy I wouldn't need any plan for that at all. Me and Mr Alcohol would never speak again - and that's a fact.
And I'm a three bottles of wine, every night, alcoholic..
Not judging AT ALL. Just saying.
You only have ONE life. This isn't a trial run. Stop or die.
Wishing you 100% clarity and he power to stay sober that follows it.
JT
Great post Tony
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Originally Posted by emptyglass68
Previous attempts always failed when I felt better, however now I have a medical condition caused by my alcohol abuse, my Cardiologist is telling me i need to stop, so here I am again, I am worried in a week though when I feel better the cycle will start over.
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